Needs a good alarm 

Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, October 18.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Have FUN!

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"What some people mistake for the high cost of living is really the cost of high living." --- Doug Larson
First thing - every single morning - one of the secretaries in our office opened the newspaper and read everyone's horo- scope aloud. "Gwen," said our boss finally, "you seem to be a normal, levelheaded person. Do you really believe in astrology?" "Of course not," Gwen answered. "You know how skeptical we Capricorns are."
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>From Rick Both sides of our family turned out for my wife's college graduation. After the dean finished awarding all the diploma's, he requested, "Will all the 'cum laudes' please stand up?" My mother-in-law leaned over and whispered, "Wow! The Cum Laude family sure has a lot of kids!"
Yesterday's cactus picture was from my dad. That Gymnocalytium Friederisii had bloomed day before yesterday. Today's picture was sent by Nana Rina. Click on the picture for the large version Some Cupids apparently request cooperation, and insist on it.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Carlton Walker Jr, Middlesex County, Virginia Jailed After Calling 911 To Report She Was Too Drunk To Get Out Of Car Reported by The Weekly Vice Carol Frances Omeara, a 55-year-old Montana woman, was jailed Tuesday after she called 911 to complain that she was too drunk to get out of her vehicle. According to police, an officer was dispatched to Omeara's residence Tuesday at about 10 p.m. after she called 911 to complain that she was having trouble getting out of her vehicle. When the dispatcher asked Omeara if she was having a medical issue or mechanical issue, Omeara replied "No, I'm just too damn drunk." Officers arrived at the residence to find Omeara inside a vehicle parked outside of her residence. Omeara told officers that she had been at a local bar for about 5 hours before driving home. After arriving home, she spent the next four hours trying to get out of her car before calling 911. Officers administered a breath test which reported a blood alcohol content level of .311 or almost 4 times the legal limit. Omeara was booked into jail and charged with felony DUI. She remains held in lieu of $3,000 bond. Tech Support Pits From: Alma Re: Need a good alarm Dear Webby, I need an alarm that tells me it is time to check what is boiling in the kitchen. I am not playing games, just writing, but tend to get carried a way. What have you got in your bag of tricks? Alma Dear Alma I use Alarm It is free, easy to use, and 100% reliable. You can use the built in alarm sound, which is just as noisy as the Skype call to video, or you can use any music file, that you got. Yes, ANY. It is not intended as a bedside alarm to wake you in the morning, and it does not turn the computer on or bring it out of hibernation. It is strictly just for when the computer is running, but you are busy doing something other than watching the clock. I have used this Alarm for many years, and it has never let me down. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Remembering the Order of the Planets This is a great way to remember the planets to teach to your kids! My Very Eager Mother Just Served Us Nachos My = Mercury Very = Venus Eager = Earth Mother = Mars Just = Jupiter Served = Saturn Us = Uranus Nachos = Neptune Hope this helps! By Jennapatrice Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Peter called his doctor’s office for an appointment. “I’m sorry,” said the receptionist, “we can’t fit you in for at least two weeks.” “But I could be dead by then!” “No problem. If your wife lets us know, we’ll cancel the appointment and won't charge you for it.”
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The personnel manager was impressing the applicant with the prospective job. "We make parts for microscopes. You'll be required to work with lenses that are a thousandths of an inch thick." "I can handle it," the applicant said, "I used to slice meat in Moishe Goldbaum's delicatessen. I can slice ham so thin, that it is kosher."

» Cute Critter Pix

Today, Oct 18, in
1469 Ferdinand of Aragon married Isabella of Castile. The 
 marriage united all the dominions of Spain.
1685 King Louis XIV of France revoked the Edict of Nantes, 
 which had established the legal toleration of the Protestant
1767 The Mason-Dixon line was agreed upon. It was the boundary 
 between Maryland and Pennsylvania.
1842 Samuel Finley Breese Morse laid his first telegraph cable.
1860 British troops burned the Yuanmingyuan at the end of 
 the Second Opium War.
1867 The U.S. took formal possession of Alaska from Russia. 
 The land was purchased of a total of $7 million dollars 
 (2 cents per acre).
1892 The first long-distance telephone line between Chicago, 
 IL, and New York City, NY, was opened.
1898 The American flag was raised in Puerto Rico only one 
 year after the Caribbean nation won its independence 
 from Spain.
1929 The Judicial Committee of England’s Privy Council 
 ruled that women were to be considered as persons in Canada.
1944 Czechoslovakia was invaded by the Soviets during 
 World War II.
1956 NFL commissioner Bert Bell disallowed the use of 
 radio-equipped helmets by NFL quarterbacks.
1958 The first computer-arranged marriage took place on 
 Art Linkletter's show.
1969 The U.S. government banned artificial sweeteners 
 due to evidence that they caused cancer.
1970 Quebec's minister of labor was found strangled to 
 death after eight days of being held captive by the 
 Quebec Liberation Front (FLQ).
1983 General Motors agreed to hire more women and minorities 
 for five years as part of a settlement with the Equal 
 Employment Opportunity Commission.
1989 The space shuttle Atlantis was launched on a mission 
 that included the deployment of the Galileo space probe.
1997 A monument honoring U.S. servicewomen, past and 
 present, was dedicated at Arlington National Cemetery. 
2013  smiled

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