Spreadsheet to web page 

Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, October 24
Walking tonight was cold around the ears. East Wind from
across the prairies. The wind had the rich fragrance of
drying grain, and the moisture it had picked up from a few
thousand miles of grain fields. 65% Humidity! No wonder the
2 degrees below freezing felt cold!

Thursday afternoon it is supposed to warm up, briefly, 
and cool off by the time Copper and I go for our walk.
I will be wearing my hooded winter jacket.

No snow forecast until Sunday.

Have FUN!

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. --- Rita Rudner When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my own country. I make up for lost time when I come home. --- Sir Winston Churchill
An explorer was leading an entourage through the Amazon jungle when they heard the sounds of drums. At the next village, the leader stopped a native and asked him to explain their meaning. "Bad, real bad when drums stop!" he said before running off. The drum beating continued to pulsate. The safari leader asked another native about it. "Bad, real bad when drums stop!" he said. A few minutes later the drums did stop, and all the expedition members became panicked. The leader grabbed another villager and demanded to know the situation. "Bad, real bad that drums stop," he blurted. "Now comes violin solo!"
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion, or to get into smaller clothes? Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise. No need to buy pills and snake-oils, just methods and three 15 minute easy exercises per week. Money Back Guaranteed Results.

A grocer put up a sign that read "Eggplants, 25 ea. or three for a dollar." All day long, customers came in exclaiming "Don't be ridiculous! I should get four for a dollar!" Meekly the grocer capitulated and packaged four eggplants. The tailor next door had been watching these antics and finally asked the grocer, "Aren't you going to fix the mistake on your sign?" "What mistake?" the grocer asked. "Before I put up that sign no one ever bought more than one eggplant."
Click on the picture for the large version 100 Miles per Gallon? No Problem.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Katrina Kane, 28, Washington Hollow, NY Jailed After Driving Drunk Across State Police Front Lawn Reported by The Weekly Vice Katrina Kane, a 28-year-old New York woman, was jailed early Thursday morning after she allegedly drove drunk across the front lawn of a local State Police headquarters building. According to police, officers were dispatched after receiving a 911 call report of an erratic driver. State Troopers soon located the vehicle and followed it for observation. Investigators say the vehicle left the roadway and proceeded across the front lawn of Troop K headquarters located on Route 44 and Route 82. The vehicle allegedly became stuck or otherwise stopped in front of the building. Kane, the driver, was administered a field sobriety test and deemed intoxicated. She was booked into the Dutchess County Jail and charged with felony DUI. She was charged with a felony because of her previous DWI conviction. Her bail has been set at $15,000. Tech Support Pits From: Ormond Re: Spreadsheet to web page Dear Webby, Is there an easy way to transfer part of a spreadsheet to a web page? Thanks Ormond Dear Ormond Copy the parts, that you want to transfer, into a new spreadsheet, and save that one as an HTML web page. Open that file, and copy the entire table that is in it, and paste it into the page where you want it. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Save Countertops with Plastic Lids I overheard my husband telling his sister about something I have been doing for a long time. I figured if it impressed him, I should share it. When I open a new can of coffee, I take the plastic top from the old can and put it on the bottom of the new can. The plastic will help to protect your countertops. By Marty Dick I also keep a coffee can lid beside the stove for times, when I don't want to use a water filled Pyrex 1 Liter measuring cup to put wooden spoons or ladles into. For just one wooden spoon or flipper it's not worth filling the measuring cup, so I lay the tool onto a coffee can lid. Those plastic can lids rinse easyly and quickly, and since there are always more, it's no big deal to discard a messy one. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
The Master of the house is comfortably installed in an armchair in the library, reading a newspaper. Suddenly, James, his butler, rips the door open and shouts, "Sir, the Thames is flooding the streets!" The Master looks up calmly from the newspaper and says, "James, please. I have already told you. If you do have something important to tell me, first knock on the door, then enter and inform me of the issue, in a quiet and civilized manner. Now please, do so." James apologizes and closes the door behind him. Three seconds later, the Master hears a knock on the door. "Yes?" James partially enters the room, and with a wide gesture, makes an invitation as for somebody on the outside to enter, then says, "Sir, the Thames."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Little Susan was mother's helper. She helped clean the house and set the table when company was due for dinner. Everything was ready when the guests arrived, and they were seated at the table. Susan's mother noticed something was missing and said, "Susan, why didn't you put a knife and fork at Mr. Thompson's place." Little Susan explained frankly, "I thought he wouldn't need them, because Daddy says he always eats like a horse."

Black Holes and More

Today, Oct 24, in
1537 Jane Seymour, the third wife of England's King Henry VIII, 
 died after giving birth to Prince Edward. Prince Edward 
 became King Edward VI.
1648 The Holy Roman Empire was effectively destroyed by the 
 Peace of Westphalia that brought an end to the Thirty 
 Years War.
1795 The country of Poland was divided up between Austria, 
 Prussia, and Russia.
1836 Alonzo D. Phillips received a patent for the phosphorous 
 friction safety match.
1861 The first transcontinental telegraph message was sent 
 when Justice Stephen J. Field of California transmitted a 
 telegram to U.S. President Lincoln.
1901 Daredevil Anna Edson Taylor, 63, became the first person
 to go over Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel.
1929 In the U.S., investors dumped more than 13 million 
 shares on the stock market. The day is known as 
 "Black Thursday."
1931 The upper level of the George Washington Bridge opened 
 for traffic between New York and New Jersey.
1939 Nylon stockings were sold to the public for the first 
 time in Wilmington, DE.
1940 In the U.S., the 40-hour workweek went into effect 
 under the Fair Labor Standards Act of 1938.
1945 The United Nations (UN) was formally established less 
 than a month after the end of World War II. 
1945 Pierre Laval of France and Vidkum Abraham Quisling 
 of Norway were executed. The two men were recognized as 
 the two most prominent collaborators of the Nazis.
1948 The term "cold war" was used for the first time. It 
 was in a speech by Bernard Baruch before the Senate War 
 Investigating Committee.
1960 All remaining American-owned property in Cuba was 
 nationalized. The process of nationalizing all U.S. and 
 foreign-owned property in Cuban had begun on August 6/1960.
1962 During the Cuban Missile Crisis, U.S. military forces 
 went on the highest alert in the postwar era in preparation 
 for a possible full-scale war with the Soviet Union. The U.S. 
 blockade of Cuba officially began on this day.
1969 Richard Burton bought his wife Elizabeth Taylor a 
 69-carat Cartier diamond ring for $1.5 million. 
1986 Britain broke off relations with Syria after a Jordanian 
 was convicted in an attempted bombing. The evidence in the 
 trial led to the belief that Syria was involved in the 
 attack on the Israeli jetliner.
1989 Reverend Jim Bakker was sentenced to 45 years in prison 
 and fined $500,000 for his conviction on 24 counts of fraud. 
 In 1991, his sentence was reduced to eighteen years and he 
 was released on parole after a total five years in prison.
1992 The Toronto Blue Jays became the first non-U.S. team to
 win the World Series.
1997 In Arlington, VA, former NBC sportscaster Marv Albert 
 was spared a jail sentence after a courtroom apology to 
 the woman he'd bitten during a sexual encounter.
1999 An Israeli court sentenced American teen-ager Samuel 
 Sheinbein to 24 years in prison. The crime was killing an 
 acquaintance in Maryland in 1997.
2001 The U.S. House of Representatives approved legislation 
 that gave police the power to secretly search homes, tap 
 all of a person's telephone conversation and track people's 
 use of the Internet.
2001 NASA's 2001 Mars Odyssey spacecraft successfully entered 
 orbit around Mars.
2003 In London, the last commercial supersonic Concorde 
 flight landed.
2013  smiled

[ view entry ] ( 10 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 1163 )

<<First <Back | 60 | 61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | Next> Last>>