Is MS Office ODF compliant? 

Good Morning,  !

Today is Thursday, October 31.
Happy Halloween!

Thank you, Larry!

Today the second last of a box of those Chinese spiral bulbs
burned out and I had to insert the last one. The claim, that 
they would last longer than incandescent lightbulbs is 
obviously a lie.

They might save some electricity, but due to their much 
higher cost, don't seem to be worth it. Once their price
comes down to the same as regular lightbulbs, I will try
them again.

Have FUN!

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five. --- John Updike If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork as poorly as they do a golf club, they'd starve to death. --- Sam Snead Man blames fate for all other accidents, but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole-in-one. --- Bishop Sheen It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. --- Mark Twain
>From Alf I had worked late, and my Labrador was so overjoyed to see me arrive home that he jumped up just as I leaned down. Our heads collided, and I sported an impressive shiner for several weeks. I had to repeat frequently to co-workers and friends how I came by it, and one day on the elevator, a secretary whom I hadn't seen for some time looked at my black eye and ex- claimed, "My goodness, what happened to you?" "The dog did it," I wearily replied. A man standing next to us looked over at me and said knowingly, "Ahh, he must be a boxer."
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion, or to get into smaller clothes? Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise. No need to buy pills and snake-oils, just methods and three 15 minute easy exercises per week. Money Back Guaranteed Results.

A feisty 70 year old woman had to call a furnace repairman. After a quick inspection the man put some oil into the motor and handed her a $70 bill for labor. "Labor charges!" she exclaimed. "It took you five minutes." The repairman explained that his company had a minimum one-hour charge on every house call. "Well, I want my remaining 55 minutes of labor," the lady responded, and she handed him a rake. The repairman spent the next 55 minutes in her yard bagging leaves.
Click on the picture for the large version Russian tow-truck
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Sergio Irey, 21, Sarasota, Floriduh Deadbet son got mother jailed after she gave him some well deserved slaps Reported by The Smoking Gun According to Sergio Irey’s mother, the 21-year-old Florida man is unemployed, lives at home rent-free, does not help out with household chores or bills, has allowed his college grades to plummet, and “spends all his time with a girl who is a bad influence on him.” Sergio’s loafing does not sit well with Rocio Irey, 45, who has explained to her son that he “needs to get his life on track, straighten up, get a job and start helping around the house,” police report. Police report this because last night Rocio and Sergio were arguing about his reported layabout ways in her Sarasota home. Rocio told a Manatee County Sheriff’s Office deputy that she became angered at her son “because he was not listening to her, he was back talking to her and he was being disrespectful by interrupting her and ignoring her.” So a frustrated Rocio slapped her son across the face twice, explaining, “I slapped him because he was being disrespectful to me, I’m his mother.” Sergio, who later acknowledged his churlish behavior, responded by calling the cops on his mother because he “became scared of her and didn’t know what else to do.” Sergio is more than a head taller than his mother. Though Sergio was uninjured by the slaps, Florida state law required that “the aggressor be arrested” for domestic battery. So Rocio was handcuffed and transported to the county jail, where she remains locked up. With his mom behind bars, it is unclear who will make Sergio’s bed or his lunch today. Hopefully his mother is smart enough to change the locks as soon as she gets out. Tech Support Pits From: Renata Re: Is Microsoft Office Open Document Standard compliant? Dear Webby, Is Microsoft Office Open Document Standard compliant, or are they being left behind? Renata Dear Renata Microsoft Office 2013 is Open Document Standard compliant. MS Office 2010 is partially compliant. Older versions are not. 2013 and 2010 versions are still too expensive and difficult to justify. Until they have come down in price on eBay and Amazon, just use Open Office or Office Libre or Corel Office. If you grew up with WordPerfect, you are going to love Corel Office. It is the same thing, just a new owner. And it still includes Quattro! I use it every day to do the graph with the votes for the top 4 and the page views. 9 fields daily, for a year, is no problem for Quattro and does not slow it down one bit. If your needs are not that critical, try Open Office. You won't be alone. 1,127,539 Downloads this Week, and it's only Wednesday. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Taking Good Pet Photos The best way for me to take photos of pets is next to a big window. It's always a good detraction, and you can control how much light comes through, with filters and shutter speed. By Paw Prints Pet Grooming from Sweethome, OR Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of wheat on the road. The farmer that lived nearby came to investigate. "Hey, Willis," he called out, "forget your troubles for a while and come and have dinner with us. Then I'll use the tractor to help you turn the wagon upright." "That's very nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think Dad would like me to." "Aw, come on, son!" the farmer insisted. "Well, OK," the boy finally agreed, "but Dad won't like it." After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked the host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Dad's going to be real upset." "Don't be silly!" said the neighbor. "By the way, where is he?" "Under the wagon," replied Willis.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?" She said:"I'd love to be ten again." On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park, the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. Everything there was, she had a go. She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head spinning and her stomach upside down. Into McDonald's they went, where she was given a Double Big Mac with extra fries and a strawberry shake. Then off to a theater to see Star Wars - more hot dogs, popcorn, cola and sweets. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed. Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?" One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually I meant the dress size!"

» Street Art

Today, Oct 31, in
1517 Martin Luther posted the 95 Theses on the door of t
 he Wittenberg Palace Church. The event marked the start 
 of the Protestant Reformation in Germany.
1864 Nevada became the 36th state to join the U.S.
1868 Postmaster General Alexander Williams Randall approved 
 a standard uniform for postal carriers.
1914 The Ottoman Empire (Turkey) joined the Central Powers 
 (Germany, Austria-Hungary, and Bulgaria).
1922 Benito Mussolini became prime minister of Italy.
1926 Magician Harry Houdini died of gangrene and peritonitis 
 resulting from a ruptured appendix. His appendix had been 
 damaged twelve days earlier when he had been punched in 
 the stomach by a student unexpectedly. During a lecture 
 Houdini had commented on the strength of his stomach 
 muscles and their ability to withstand hard blows.
1940 The British air victory in the Battle of Britain 
 prevented Germany from invading Britain.
1941 Mount Rushmore was declared complete after 14 years 
 of work. At the time the 60-foot busts of U.S. Presidents 
 George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt 
 and Abraham Lincoln were finished.
1941 The U.S. Navy destroyer Reuben James was torpedoed 
 by a German submarine near Iceland. More than 100 men 
 were killed.
1952 The U.S. detonated its first hydrogen bomb.
1954 The Algerian National Liberation Front (FLN) began 
 a revolt against French rule.
1955 Britain's Princess Margaret announced she would not 
 marry Royal Air Force Captain Peter Townsend.
1956 Rear Admiral G.J. Dufek became the first person 
 to land an airplane at the South Pole. Dufek also became 
 the first American to set foot on the South Pole.
1959 Lee Harvey Oswald, a former U.S. Marine from Fort Worth, 
 TX, announced that he would never return to the U.S. At the 
 time he was in Moscow, Russia.
1961 In the Soviet Union, the body of Joseph Stalin was 
 removed from Lenin's Tomb where it was on public display.
1968 U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson ordered a halt to 
 all U.S. bombing of North Vietnam.
1969 Wal-Mart Discount City stores were incorporated as 
 Wal-Mart Stores, Inc.
1981 Antiqua and Barbuda became independent of Great Britain.
1983 The U.S. Defense Department acknowledged that during 
 the U.S. led invasion of Grenada, that a U.S. Navy plane 
 had mistakenly bombed a civilian hospital.
1984 Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi was assassinated 
 near her residence by two Sikh security guards. Her son, 
 Rajiv, was sworn in as prime minister.
1992 In Liberia, it was announced that five American nuns 
 had been killed near Monrovia. Rebels loyal to Charles 
 Taylor were blamed for the murders.
1994 68 people were killed when an American Eagle ATR-72 
 plunged into a northern Indiana farm.
1997 Louise Woodward, British au pair, was sentenced to 
 life in prison after being convicted of second-degree 
 murder in the death of 8-month-old Matthew Eappen. She 
 was released after her sentence was reduced to manslaughter.
1999 EgyptAir Flight 990 crashed off the coast of Nantucket, 
 MA, killing all 217 people aboard.
1999 Leaders from the Roman Catholic Church and the Lutheran 
 Church signed the Joint Declaration on the Doctrine of 
 Justification. The event ended a centuries-old doctrinal 
 dispute over the nature of faith and salvation.
2013  smiled

[ view entry ] ( 10 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.5 / 10 )

<<First <Back | 60 | 61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | Next> Last>>