File list into spreadsheet, alphabetically 

Good Morning,  !

Today is Sunday, November 3.

Next Tuesday, Nov 5, I have to go for injections into my 
eyeballs again. That means no newsletters and no emails
answerd on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.

If you have not turned back your clocks yet, today is the
day to turn all your clocks back an hour. Europe went onto
Winter Time a couple of weeks ago, but Bush gave us a couple 
of weeks more of summer time. As far as i am concerned,
I would be happy with summer time all year long.

About the CF (Curly-pig-tail Fluorescent lamps, that so 
many commented about, they do indeed require a lot more
resources and electricity to make, but they only cost less
than a quarter in China. The reason they cost so much more 
here is because the sheeple have been brainwashed into 
believing they are worth it, and because thanks to the 
brainwash, the merchants get away with charging that much 
more. Once people smarten up and stop falling for the lies,
the price will come down. 

Some merchants still sell the regular incandescent lightbulbs,
even though they make a lot less on them.
Sylvania is still making Billions of them. 
In the USA! And in Canada.
Not everybody is gullible enough to pay the outrageous 
prices for the imported CF lamps.

If your hardware store does not sell incandescent lightbulbs,
go to Sylvania-Where-to-buy and punch in your zip code.

Once the cost of the Chinese CF bulbs comes down, I might 
try them again, but until then, I am buying Northamerican made 
incandescent bulbs. 

If any sleazy salesperson tells you, that incandescent bulbs
are no longer made, tell them that they are full of poodle 
crap and are lying to you.
Sylvania has ACTIVE plants in
   Beverly, MA  
   Danvers, MA  
   Drummondville, Quebec
   Exeter, NH  
   Hillsboro, NH  
   Manchester, NH  
   Mississauga, Ontario  
   St. Marys, PA  
   Versailles, KY  
   Wellsboro, PA  
   Winchester & Lexington, KY  

If you get near any of those towns, go on a guided tour
and send me some pictures to show everybody!

Sylvania is my favorite, but is just one of a bunch of 
companies, that make incandescent lightbulbs.

Have FUN!

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it. --- Michel de Montaigne (1533 - 1592)
A woman calls an import parts warehouse and asks for a 28-ounce water pump. "A what?" says the confused parts guy. "My husband says he needs a 28-ounce water pump, he even wrote it down for me." "A 28-ounce water pump? What kind of car does it fit?" "A Datsun." As the parts guy writes down "Datsun, 28 oz. water pump" the light in his head goes on. "Oh yes ma'am. We've got 28-ounce water pumps. We have 24-ounce and 26-ounce water pumps too." "Finally," she says. "You're the first place I've called that knew what I was talking about." "Yes ma'am. That's because we're a full service parts warehouse. It's our job to have the parts you need, like a 28-ounce water pump," he says, smiling, as he jots down customer pick-up, Datsun 280Z water pump, part number . .
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A game warden noticed how a particular fellow named Sam consistently caught more fish than anyone else. Whereas the other guys would only catch three or four fish a day, Sam would come in from the lake with a boat full of fish. Stringer after stringer was packed with freshly caught trout. The warden, curious, asked Sam his secret. The successful fisherman invited the game warden to accompany him and observe. So the next morning, the two met at the dock and took off in Sam's boat. When they got to the middle of the lake, Sam stopped the boat, and the warden sat back to see how it was done. Sam's approach was simple: He took out a stick of dynamite, lit it, and threw it into the air. The explosion rocked the lake with such a force that dead fish immediately began to surface. Sam took out a net and started scooping them up. Well, you can imagine the reaction of the game warden. When he recovered from the shock of it all, he began yelling at Sam, "You can't do this! I'll put you in jail, buddy! You will be paying every fine there is in the book!" Sam, meanwhile, set his net down and took out another stick of dynamite. He lit it and tossed it in the lap of the game warden with these words: "Your turn!" ------------------ When i was working as a fishing guide on Tincup Lake in the Yukon in 1971, I told that joke to every boatload of customers. Believe it or not, about half of them asked if I had any dynamite along.
Thanks to Chris for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version Calgary, Nov 1/2013
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jennifer Vargas, 33, San Antonio, Texas Jailed for ripping her son's scrotum during anger fit Reported by The Weekly Vice Jennifer Vargas, a 33-year-old Texas woman, was jailed last Wednesday after she allegedly ripped open her 6-year-old son's scrotum during an angry fit, then attempted to mend it with super glue. According to police, an investigation was launched last week when a 6-year-old boy arrived at the hospital with a 1.5 inch tear in his scrotum that had been glued back together with super glue. Investigators say the boy's mother, Jennifer Vargas, was angry when she grabbed her son's testicles and pulled on them. The boy suffered a 1.5 inch tear to his scrotum and a bruised penis as a result. During a police interview, Vargas told detectives that she "treated" the injury by cleaning it with alcohol and then using super glue to close the wound. Vargas then stuffed the boy's underwear with toilet paper and sent him to bed. The boy's trauma was later discovered when his father found him crying in his bedroom and found blood in his underwear. The boy was taken to the hospital where he went into immediate emergency surgery. Vargas was booked into jail and charged with assault causing bodily injury. The case moves forward to a grand jury where an indictment or formal charges are pending. The boy's father has announced that he will be seeking a divorce from Vargas before she swings him around by his family jewels. Tech Support Pits From: Cookie Re: File list into spreadsheet Dear Webby, I HAVE paid attention and know how to turn a file name in a spreadsheet into a clickable link. What I still need to learn is how to get all the file names from a folder into a spreadsheet, in alphabetical order. Cookie Dear Cookie Fund the folder with the File Explorer and highlight the folder name. Hold down SHIFT and right-click it. Select "Open Command Window Here". Yeah, I know, that is a top secret left-over from somebody troubleshooting Windows during it's construction. Once you have the DOS prompt showing the name of that folder, type dir /b and hit Enter It will instantly show you the files in alphabetical order. Right-click and select Mark Smear the file names with the mouse and hit Enter. That puts them into the clip-board. Now jump to the spreadsheet and put the cursor where you want the topmost file name, and hit CTRL V That pastes them right where you want them. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Making a Tighter Prettier Bow It is almost that time of year we seem to make or attempt to make bows for Christmas. My tip is that you can get a much tighter bow and a prettier bow if, when finishing, you twist the whole bow instead of the wire. I don't know why the bow teachers didn't use this method for finishing bows. Doing it this way is also easier on your hands. By Janette Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
A client brought a litter of golden-retriever puppies to my veterinary clinic for inoculations and worming. As the look-alike pups squirmed over and under one another in their box, I realized it would be difficult to tell the treated ones from the rest. I turned on the water faucet, wet my fingers, and moistened each dog's head when I had finished. After the fourth puppy, I noticed my hitherto talkative client had grown silent. As I sprinkled the last pup's head, the woman leaned forward and whispered, "I didn't know they had to be baptized."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
An elderly gentlemen went in for his annual physical exam. The doctor said, "You're in incredible shape. How old are you again?" The man replied, "I am 98." The doctor exclaimed, "Wow, 98. How do you stay so healthy? You look like a 60 year old." The man explained, "Well, my wife and I made a pact when we got married that whenever she got mad she would go into the kitchen and cool off and I would go outside to settle down." "What does that have to do with it?" asked the doctor. The man sighed, "I've pretty much lived an outdoor life."

LOL Cats

Today, Nov 3, in
1507 Leonardo DaVinci was commissioned by the husband of 
 Lisa Gherardini to paint her:The Mona Lisa.
1631 The Reverend John Eliot arrived in the Massachusetts 
 Bay Colony. He was the first Protestant minister to dedicate 
 himself to the conversion of Native Americans to Christianity.
1839 The first Opium War between China and Britain erupted.
 Britain did not like China restricting the Opium trade and
 forced China to allow Britain to trade as much opium in 
 China as they want.
1892 The first automatic telephone went into service at 
 LaPorte, IN. The device was invented by Almon Strowger.
1900 The first automobile show in the United States opened 
 at New York's Madison Square Garden.
1903 Panama proclaimed its independence from Columbia.
1911 Chevrolet Motor Car Company was founded by Louis 
 Chevrolet and William C. Durant.
1941 U.S. Ambassador to Japan John Grew warned that the 
 Japanese may be planning a sudden attack on the U.S.
1952 Frozen bread was offered for sale for the first time 
 in a supermarket in Chester, NY.
1957 Sputnik II was launched by the Soviet Union. It was the 
 second manmade satellite to be put into orbit and was the 
 first to put a mammal into space, a dog named Laika.
1973 The U.S. launched the Mariner 10 spacecraft. On March 
 29, 1974 it became the first spacecraft to reach the planet 
1979 Five members of the Communist Workers' Party are shot 
 to death in broad daylight at an anti-Ku Klux Klan rally 
 in Greensboro, NC. Eight others were wounded.
1986 The Ash-Shiraa, pro-Syrian Lebanese magazine, first 
 broke the story of U.S. arms sales to Iran to secure the 
 release of seven American hostages. The story turned into 
 the Iran-Contra affair.
1987 China told the U.S. that it would halt the sale of 
 arms to Iran.
1994 Susan Smith of Union, SC, was arrested for drowning 
 her two sons. Nine days earlier Smith had claimed that 
 the children had been abducted by a black carjacker.
1995 U.S. President Clinton dedicated a memorial at 
 Arlington National Cemetery to the 270 victims of 
 the bombing of Pan Am Flight 103.
1998 Minnesota elected Jesse "The Body" Ventura, a former 
 pro wrestler, as its governor.
2003 In Kabul, Afghanistan, a post-Taliban draft 
 constitution was unveiled. They don't use theirs either.
2013  smiled

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