File list into spreadsheet, alphabetically
Sunday, November 3, 2013, 12:25 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, November 3.
Next Tuesday, Nov 5, I have to go for injections into my
eyeballs again. That means no newsletters and no emails
answerd on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.
If you have not turned back your clocks yet, today is the
day to turn all your clocks back an hour. Europe went onto
Winter Time a couple of weeks ago, but Bush gave us a couple
of weeks more of summer time. As far as i am concerned,
I would be happy with summer time all year long.
About the CF (Curly-pig-tail Fluorescent lamps, that so
many commented about, they do indeed require a lot more
resources and electricity to make, but they only cost less
than a quarter in China. The reason they cost so much more
here is because the sheeple have been brainwashed into
believing they are worth it, and because thanks to the
brainwash, the merchants get away with charging that much
more. Once people smarten up and stop falling for the lies,
the price will come down.
Some merchants still sell the regular incandescent lightbulbs,
even though they make a lot less on them.
Sylvania is still making Billions of them.
In the USA! And in Canada.
Not everybody is gullible enough to pay the outrageous
prices for the imported CF lamps.
If your hardware store does not sell incandescent lightbulbs,
go to Sylvania-Where-to-buy and punch in your zip code.
Once the cost of the Chinese CF bulbs comes down, I might
try them again, but until then, I am buying Northamerican made
incandescent bulbs.
If any sleazy salesperson tells you, that incandescent bulbs
are no longer made, tell them that they are full of poodle
crap and are lying to you.
Sylvania has ACTIVE plants in
Beverly, MA
Danvers, MA
Drummondville, Quebec
Exeter, NH
Hillsboro, NH
Manchester, NH
Mississauga, Ontario
St. Marys, PA
Versailles, KY
Wellsboro, PA
Winchester & Lexington, KY
If you get near any of those towns, go on a guided tour
and send me some pictures to show everybody!
Sylvania is my favorite, but is just one of a bunch of
companies, that make incandescent lightbulbs.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory
as the wish to forget it.
--- Michel de Montaigne (1533 - 1592)
A woman calls an import parts warehouse and asks for a
28-ounce water pump.
"A what?" says the confused parts guy.
"My husband says he needs a 28-ounce water pump,
he even wrote it down for me."
"A 28-ounce water pump? What kind of car does it fit?"
"A Datsun."
As the parts guy writes down "Datsun, 28 oz. water pump"
the light in his head goes on. "Oh yes ma'am. We've got
28-ounce water pumps. We have 24-ounce and 26-ounce
water pumps too."
"Finally," she says. "You're the first place I've called
that knew what I was talking about."
"Yes ma'am. That's because we're a full service parts
warehouse. It's our job to have the parts you need, like
a 28-ounce water pump," he says, smiling, as he jots down
customer pick-up, Datsun 280Z water pump, part number . .
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A game warden noticed how a particular fellow named Sam
consistently caught more fish than anyone else. Whereas
the other guys would only catch three or four fish a day, Sam
would come in from the lake with a boat full of fish.
Stringer after stringer was packed with freshly caught
trout.
The warden, curious, asked Sam his secret. The successful
fisherman invited the game warden to accompany him and
observe.
So the next morning, the two met at the dock and took off
in Sam's boat. When they got to the middle of the lake,
Sam stopped the boat, and the warden sat back to see
how it was done.
Sam's approach was simple: He took out a stick of dynamite,
lit it, and threw it into the air. The explosion rocked the
lake with such a force that dead fish immediately began to
surface. Sam took out a net and started scooping them up.
Well, you can imagine the reaction of the game warden.
When he recovered from the shock of it all, he began
yelling at Sam, "You can't do this! I'll put you in
jail, buddy! You will be paying every fine there is in the
book!"
Sam, meanwhile, set his net down and took out another stick
of dynamite. He lit it and tossed it in the lap
of the game warden with these words: "Your turn!"
------------------
When i was working as a fishing guide on Tincup Lake in
the Yukon in 1971, I told that joke to every boatload of
customers. Believe it or not, about half of them asked
if I had any dynamite along.
Thanks to Chris for this picture:
Click on the picture for the large version
Calgary, Nov 1/2013
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Jennifer Vargas, 33, San Antonio, Texas
Jailed for ripping her son's
scrotum during anger fit
Reported by The Weekly Vice
Jennifer Vargas, a 33-year-old Texas woman, was jailed last
Wednesday after she allegedly ripped open her 6-year-old
son's scrotum during an angry fit, then attempted to mend
it with super glue.
According to police, an investigation was launched last week
when a 6-year-old boy arrived at the hospital with a 1.5 inch
tear in his scrotum that had been glued back together with
super glue.
Investigators say the boy's mother, Jennifer Vargas, was
angry when she grabbed her son's testicles and pulled on
them. The boy suffered a 1.5 inch tear to his scrotum and
a bruised penis as a result.
During a police interview, Vargas told detectives that she
"treated" the injury by cleaning it with alcohol and then
using super glue to close the wound. Vargas then stuffed
the boy's underwear with toilet paper and sent him to bed.
The boy's trauma was later discovered when his father found
him crying in his bedroom and found blood in his underwear.
The boy was taken to the hospital where he went into
immediate emergency surgery.
Vargas was booked into jail and charged with assault causing
bodily injury. The case moves forward to a grand jury where
an indictment or formal charges are pending.
The boy's father has announced that he will be seeking a
divorce from Vargas before she swings him around by his
family jewels.
Tech Support Pits
From: Cookie
Re: File list into spreadsheet
Dear Webby,
I HAVE paid attention and know how to turn a file name in
a spreadsheet into a clickable link. What I still need to
learn is how to get all the file names from a folder into
a spreadsheet, in alphabetical order.
Cookie
Dear Cookie
Fund the folder with the File Explorer and highlight the
folder name. Hold down SHIFT and right-click it.
Select "Open Command Window Here".
Yeah, I know, that is a top secret left-over from somebody
troubleshooting Windows during it's construction.
Once you have the DOS prompt showing the name of that folder,
type dir /b and hit Enter
It will instantly show you the files in alphabetical order.
Right-click and select Mark
Smear the file names with the mouse and hit Enter.
That puts them into the clip-board.
Now jump to the spreadsheet and put the cursor where you
want the topmost file name, and hit CTRL V
That pastes them right where you want them.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Making a Tighter Prettier Bow
It is almost that time of year we seem to make or attempt to
make bows for Christmas. My tip is that you can get a much
tighter bow and a prettier bow if, when finishing, you
twist the whole bow instead of the wire. I don't know why
the bow teachers didn't use this method for finishing bows.
Doing it this way is also easier on your hands.
By Janette
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
A client brought a litter of golden-retriever puppies to
my veterinary clinic for inoculations and worming. As the
look-alike pups squirmed over and under one another in their
box, I realized it would be difficult to tell the treated
ones from the rest. I turned on the water faucet, wet my
fingers, and moistened each dog's head when I had finished.
After the fourth puppy, I noticed my hitherto talkative client
had grown silent. As I sprinkled the last pup's head, the
woman leaned forward and whispered,
"I didn't know they had to be baptized."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
An elderly gentlemen went in for his annual physical
exam. The doctor said, "You're in incredible shape. How
old are you again?" The man replied, "I am 98."
The doctor exclaimed, "Wow, 98. How do you stay so
healthy? You look like a 60 year old."
The man explained, "Well, my wife and I made a pact
when we got married that whenever she got mad she
would go into the kitchen and cool off and I would
go outside to settle down."
"What does that have to do with it?" asked the doctor.
The man sighed, "I've pretty much lived an outdoor life."
Today, Nov 3, in
1507 Leonardo DaVinci was commissioned by the husband of
Lisa Gherardini to paint her:The Mona Lisa.
1631 The Reverend John Eliot arrived in the Massachusetts
Bay Colony. He was the first Protestant minister to dedicate
himself to the conversion of Native Americans to Christianity.
1839 The first Opium War between China and Britain erupted.
Britain did not like China restricting the Opium trade and
forced China to allow Britain to trade as much opium in
China as they want.
1892 The first automatic telephone went into service at
LaPorte, IN. The device was invented by Almon Strowger.
1900 The first automobile show in the United States opened
at New York's Madison Square Garden.
1903 Panama proclaimed its independence from Columbia.
1911 Chevrolet Motor Car Company was founded by Louis
Chevrolet and William C. Durant.
1941 U.S. Ambassador to Japan John Grew warned that the
Japanese may be planning a sudden attack on the U.S.
1952 Frozen bread was offered for sale for the first time
in a supermarket in Chester, NY.
1957 Sputnik II was launched by the Soviet Union. It was the
second manmade satellite to be put into orbit and was the
first to put a mammal into space, a dog named Laika.
1973 The U.S. launched the Mariner 10 spacecraft. On March
29, 1974 it became the first spacecraft to reach the planet
Mercury.
1979 Five members of the Communist Workers' Party are shot
to death in broad daylight at an anti-Ku Klux Klan rally
in Greensboro, NC. Eight others were wounded.
1986 The Ash-Shiraa, pro-Syrian Lebanese magazine, first
broke the story of U.S. arms sales to Iran to secure the
release of seven American hostages. The story turned into
the Iran-Contra affair.
1987 China told the U.S. that it would halt the sale of
arms to Iran.
1994 Susan Smith of Union, SC, was arrested for drowning
her two sons. Nine days earlier Smith had claimed that
the children had been abducted by a black carjacker.
1995 U.S. President Clinton dedicated a memorial at
Arlington National Cemetery to the 270 victims of
the bombing of Pan Am Flight 103.
1998 Minnesota elected Jesse "The Body" Ventura, a former
pro wrestler, as its governor.
2003 In Kabul, Afghanistan, a post-Taliban draft
constitution was unveiled. They don't use theirs either.
2013 smiled
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