How do you use a fixed multiplier in a spreadsheet? 

Good Morning,  !

Today is Tuesday, November 5.

My Eye injections have been postponed for some 
other day. I will tell you the exat date, when I find out.

For the past 60 years, conventional medical authorities 
have warned that saturated animal fats cause heart disease 
and should be severely restricted in a heart-healthy diet. 

Well, when I had a major heart attack, I stopped believing
their BS. After all, the 100+ year old dudes in Nepal are 
taking a spoon full of butter and a chunk of rock salt with 
each cup of tea, and they drink lots of tea.

Yes, you got it, the eggspurts also get right hysterical 
about salt. When I was in the hospital, they didn't allow
me to have ANY salt. 
As soon as I got back home, I started using salt, and soon 
started to heal and and so I promptly increased my use of 
butter and salt.

Now the medical big-shots are starting to admit, that the
Animal Fat Scare is totally bogus.

I would not be surprised if the vegetarians, who cobbled 
together that theory, died in their fourties or fifties.

Have FUN!

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

When you build bridges you can keep crossing them. --- Rick Pitino You're supposed to trust friends. You have no reason to be his friend? That is part of the pleasure of friendship: trusting without absolute evidence and then being rewarded for that trust. --- David Shore
A man is concentrating diligently on the papers on his desk when a co-worker comes up. "Say, you want to hit the golf course this afternoon?" he asks. "Sorry," the man says, "I can't." "Why not?" "The doctor tells me I can't play." "Oh," says the co-worker, "he's been out with you, too?"
Imagic Photo - image and photo enhancement software Photo enhancement software that transforms ordinary photos into beautiful images, that look like they were shot by a famous professional with very expensive equipment. Free Trial.

The bank manager noticed the new clerk wasn't good at counting money or adding up figures. "Where did you get your finance education?" he asked. "Yale," replied the lad. "And what's your name?" barked the manager. "Yim Yohnston," he replied.
Click on the picture for the large version Creationists are getting right noisy about this hammer, that they claim was in Cretaceous rock, in London, Texas
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Michelle Lucus, 46, Ocala, Floriduh Jailed After Molesting Friend's 6-year-Old Son Inside Gas Station Restroom Reported by The Weekly Vice Michelle Lucus, a 46-year-old Florida woman, was jailed Wednesday after she allegedly molested a friend's 6 year old son inside a gas station restroom. According to the Marion County Sheriff's Office, a trip to the local gas station became a living nightmare for a 6-year-old boy when she reportedly pulled him into the gas station's restroom and performed a sex act on him. During a forensic interview, the child stated that he and Lucus had walked to a nearby Chevron gas station to pick up a few things for the family when the incident occurred. Once Lucus and the boy entered the store, Lucus allegedly invited the boy into a bathroom with her. When the boy refused, Lucus grabbed him by the arm and forced him into the bathroom. Once inside, Lucus allegedly locked the door, pulled down the boy's pants and proceeded to perform oral sex on him. Lucus and the boy then left the gas station and walked to a friend's home for a few minutes. After leaving the friend's home, Lucus allegedly walked the boy back to the gas station and attempted to get him to go back into the restroom. When the boy refused, Lucus became angry, purchased and order of chicken wings and then returned the boy to his home. The boy later told his father about the incident, who reported it to police. During questioning, Lucus admitted to entering the restroom with the boy but claimed that she couldn't remember what happened next. She was booked into the Marion County Jail and charged with sexual battery on a child under the age of 12 and false imprisonment of a child under the age of 13. Tech Support Pits From: Hanna Re: Fixed multiplier in a spreadsheet Dear Webby, I know there is a way to do it, but can't find out how. I need to use a formula to pad values for a graph, so that the lines are "in the same ballpark" and not right off the page. I don't want the multiplier (.4) on each row, but just at one central location, so that I can easily update it. Yeah, I know, you shoed us once before, many years ago. Thanks Hanna Dear Hanna Usually the Cell A1 is free, since the headers start at B1. Put 0.4 into cell A1, or any other free and convenient cell. Then in the cell D2, or where you want the padded result of whatever you got in C2, put: in Quattro +C2*$A$1 or in Excel =C2*$A$1 The $A nails the source to THAT particular column, and the $1 nails it to THAT particular row, instead of adjusting it as you copy that formula down the page. For those of you new to spreadsheets, if you copy a formula from, for example cell D2 to all the cells below it down to D200, it adjusts. The C2, the data source, becomes C3 in the next line, then C4, all the way to C100. Since you want the formula to NOT use the dates, that you have in the A column, but just look at what you got in A1, or Z1, or wherever you got the multiplier, you nail that part of the formula down with the $. You can, if you want, nail just the column or just the row. Whichever one is nailed with the $, will always be looked up in THAT spot. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Microwave Bananas To Eliminate Fruit Flies To eliminate getting fruit flies from bananas try this tip. When you bring home bunches of bananas, put the bunch in the microwave for 10 seconds. I have used this method for years and it has been wonderful in eliminating fruit flies in my kitchen. By FrugalCA from CA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
In a hat shop a saleslady gushed: "That's the hat for you! It makes you look ten years younger." "Then I don't want it," retorted the matronly customer. "I certainly can't afford to put on ten years every time I take off my hat!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Here is one of my all time favorites, that just came back to me: "Information? I need the number of Causeway Insurance Company." "Would you spell that, please?" "Certainly. That's C as in cadence. A as in aye. U as in up. S as in sea. E as in eye. W as in why. A as in are. Y as in you." "Just a minute, sir. I'll connect you with my supervisor."
>From Baba Lord help me to relax about insignificant details beginning tomorrow at 07:41:23 am, e.s.t. God help me to consider people's feelings, even if most of them ARE hypersensitive. God help me to take responsibility for my own actions, even though they're usually NOT my fault. God, help me to not try to RUN everything. But, if You need some help, please feel free to ASK me! Lord, help me to be more laid back, and help me to do it EXACTLY right. God help me to take things more seriously, especially laughter, parties, and dancing. God give me patience, and I mean right NOW! Lord help me not be a perfectionist. (Did I spell that correctly?) God, help me to finish everything I sta God, help me to keep my mind on one th -- Look, a bird -- ing at a time. God help me to do only what I can, and trust you for the rest. And would you mind putting that in writing? Lord keep me open to others' ideas, WRONG though they may be. Lord help me be less independent, but let me do it my way. Lord help me follow established procedures today. On second thought, I'll settle for a few minutes. Lord, help me slow down andnotrushthroughwhatIdo.

Wild Horses

Today, Nov 5, in
1605 The "Gunpowder Plot" attempted by Guy Fawkes failed 
 when he was captured before he could blow up the English 
 Parliament. Guy Fawkes Day is celebrated every November 5th 
 in Britain to celebrate his failure to blow up all the 
 members of Parliament and King James I.
1844 In California, a grizzly bear underwent a successful 
 cataract operation at the Zoological Garden.
1895 George B. Selden received the first U.S. patent for 
 an automobile. He sold the rights for $200,000 four 
 years later.
1911 Italy officially annexed Tripoli.
1935 The game "Monopoly" was introduced by Parker Brothers
1940 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt won an unprecedented 
 third term in office.
1946 John F. Kennedy was elected to the U.S. House of 
 Representatives at the age of 29.
1956 British and French forces began landing in Egypt during 
 the Suez Canal Crisis. A cease-fire was declared 2 days later.
1963 Archaeologists found the remains of a Viking settlement 
 at L'Anse aux Meadows, Newfoundland. 
1986 The White House reaffirmed the U.S. ban on the sale 
 of weapons to Iran.
1998 Scientists published a genetic study that showed strong 
 evidence that Thomas Jefferson fathered at least one child 
 (Eston Hemings) of his slave, Sally Hemings.
1994 George Foreman, 45, became boxing's oldest heavyweight 
 champion when he knocked out Michael Moorer in the 10th 
 round of their WBA fight in Las Vegas, NV.
1998 The U.N. announced that the Taliban militia had killed 
 up to 5,000 civilians in a takeover of an Afghani town.
1999 A 12-day conference on global warming, attended by 
 delegates from 170 nations, ended in Bonn, Germany.
2001 It was announced that European aircraft manufacturer 
 Airbus and Dubai-based Emirates airlines set up a joint 
 venture specializing in airline services.
2009 At Fort Hood, near Kileen, TX, Nidal Malik Hasan killed 13 people and wounded 30 others. 
2013  smiled

[ view entry ] ( 11 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 750 )

<<First <Back | 60 | 61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | Next> Last>>