Which version of Corel Office? 

Good Morning,  !

Today is Tuesday, November 12.

On Wednesday, Nov 13, I have to go for eye injections.
There won't be any sending of newsletters for the
Thursday, Friday and Saturday issues.

The huge hoarfrost crystals on top of the snow in the
morning sun sure are pretty. Not a sign for warmer weather
in the near future, though. Time to dig out the long 


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all of your time. --- Willem de Kooning (1904 - 1997) We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. --- Aesop (620 BC - 560 BC)
I love this classic: A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
Imagic Photo - image and photo enhancement software Photo enhancement software that transforms ordinary photos into beautiful images, that look like they were shot by a famous professional with very expensive equipment. Free Trial.

Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man. "This young man agreed to marry my daughter," said one. "No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other. And so they haggled before the King, until he called for silence. "Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I shall hew the young man in half. Each of you shall receive a half." "Sounds good to me," said the first lady. But the other woman said, "Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let the other woman's daughter marry him." The wise king did not hesitate a moment. "The young man must marry the first lady's daughter," he proclaimed. "But she was willing to hew him in two!" exclaimed the king's court. "Indeed," said wise King Solomon. "That shows she is the TRUE mother-in-law."
Thanks to Cookie for a picture of her other car. Click on the picture for the large version FrankenCar
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Glen Davis, 48, Winter Haven, Floriduh HIV Positive Man Douses Woman With Gasoline, Then Rapes Her Saying "You're Going To Die One Way Or Another." Reported by The Weekly Vice Glen Davis, a 48-year-old HIV positive man, was jailed Saturday after he allegedly doused his girlfriend with gasoline and forced her to have unprotected sex with him as he held a pair of scissors to her throat. According to Winter Haven police, Davis and his girlfriend were arguing Halloween night when Davis locked all of the doors to the house and began setting things on fire. Davis reportedly poured gasoline on a table and a pile of clothes and then set them on fire. Aiming to amp up the terror a bit more, Davis then doused his girlfriend with gasoline and threatened to set her on fire. At some point during the confrontation, Davis allegedly grabbed the victim's young son by the neck and threatened to set him on fire as well. A short time later, Davis forced the victim to have unprotected sex with him. Although the victim begged him to use a condom, he put a pair of scissors to her throat and proceeded to rape her without a condom. "You're going to die, one way or another," Davis told the woman moments before the sexual assault. Davis was arrested two days later after a relative urged her to call police. He was booked into jail and charged with criminal transmission of HIV, battery, false imprisonment, two counts of arson, two counts of aggravated battery and sexual assault. He will get the best medical care until the lawyers finish, which could be a few decades. Tech Support Pits From: Martha Re: Which version of Corel Office Dear Webby, Forget Skype. The bozos at microslop use big 4:3 monitors and have no sympathy for the poor slobs like you, who have to use wide monitors. Just switch to Google+ Hangout. That has better video and voice quality anyway. My question is which version Corel Office to buy. I need to do a big math project, that is way too complicated for Excel and need to use Quattro in Corel, but don't really want to buy the current version. Thanks Martha Dear Martha Probably any version will work fine. They have not dumbed it down, and I don't think there are any real changes in Quattro. Get whatever version you find on sale at eBay or wherever. I still use version X4, and would not pay to switch to a newer version. It works just fine, and I don't think there were any changes in it over previous versions. You can even set it to act like Excel, open Excel files and even save them as Excel files. Especially in a cooperative environment that makes it a clear winner. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Easy, Free Cheese Wrapping If you use cheese often, like I do, here is a decent tip! Cut straight through a block of unopened cheese, remove the portion you will use without demolishing package. Keep the wrapper from the piece you used, turn it over and cut a slice in the back side. Now, slip it over the remaining section of cheese. You now have a free wrapping technique, so no need to use up another dish or plastic bag/wrap. It works great for me, without drying out! By Becca from NY Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
The plane was loaded with people when it made a refueling stop. They were told they would be on the ground for 2 hours and they could leave the plane while they refueled. They all got off except for a blind man and his dog. The pilot took advantage of there being no line-up at the toilets and went to the back of the plane, When he saw the blind man, he recognized him previous flights. He approached the man and said, "Keith, would you like to leave the plane and stretch your legs?" "No, thank you," the man said, "but my dog would." A few minutes later, the pilot was seen passing through the gate with dark sunglasses and the dog. Most passengers changed their flight.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Two kids are talking to each other. One says, "I'm really worried. My dad works twelve hours a day to give me a nice home and good food. My mom spends the whole day cleaning and cooking for me. I'm worried sick!" The other kid says, "What have you got to worry about? Sounds to me like you've got it made!" The first kid says, "Yeah, but what if they escape?"

Most Expensive Crocus in the World: Saffron -

Today, Nov 12, in
1799 Andrew Ellicott Douglass witnesses the Leonids meteor 
 shower from a ship off the Florida Keys.
1859 The first flying trapeze act was performed by Jules 
 Leotard at Cirque Napoleon in Paris, France. He was also 
 the designer of the garment that its named after him.
1918 Austria and Czechoslovakia were declared independent 
1927 Joseph Stalin became the undisputed ruler of the 
 Soviet Union. Leon Trotsky was expelled from the Communist 
 Party leading to Stalin coming to power.
1942 During World War II, naval battle of Guadalcanal began 
 between Japanese and American forces. The Americans won a 
 major victory.
1944 During World War II, the German battleship "Tirpitz" 
 was sunk off the coast of Norway.
1946 The first drive-up banking facility opened at the 
 Exchange National Bank in Chicago, IL.
1948 The war crimes tribunal sentenced Japanese Premier 
 Hideki Tojo and six other World War II Japanese leaders 
 to death.
1953 The National Football League (NFL) policy of blacking 
 out home games was upheld by Judge Allan K. Grim of the 
 U.S. District Court in Philadelphia.
1954 Ellis Island, the immigration station in New York Harbor, 
 closed after processing more than 20 million immigrants 
 since 1892.
1979 U.S. President Carter ordered a halt to all oil imports 
 from Iran in response to 63 Americans being taken hostage 
 at the U.S. embassy in Tehran, Iran on November 4.
1980 The U.S. space probe Voyager I came within 77,000 miles 
 of Saturn while transmitting data back to Earth.
1982 Yuri V. Andropov was elected to succeed the late 
 Leonid I. Brezhnev as general secretary of the Soviet 
 Communist Party's Central Committee.
1984 Space shuttle astronauts Dale Gardner and Joe Allen 
 snared the Palapa B-2 satellite in history's first 
 space salvage.
1985 In Norfolk, VA, Arthur James Walker was sentenced 
 to life in prison for his role in a spy ring run by his 
 brother, John A. Walker Jr.
1987 The American Medical Association issued a policy 
 statement that said it was unethical for a doctor to 
 refuse to treat someone solely because that person 
 had AIDS or was HIV-positive.
1990 Japanese Emperor Akihito formally assumed the 
 Chrysanthemum Throne.
1995 The space shuttle Atlantis blasted off on a mission 
 to dock with the Russian space station Mir.
1997 The UN Security Council imposed new sanctions on Iraq 
 for constraints being placed on UN arms inspectors.
1997 Ramzi Yousef was found guilty of masterminding the 
 1993 bombing of the World Trade Center.
1998 Daimler-Benz completed a merger with Chrysler to form 
 Daimler-Chrysler AG.
2001 American Airlines flight 587 crashed just minutes after 
 take off from Kennedy Airport in New York. The Airbus A300 
 crashed into the Rockaway Beach section of Queens. All 260 
 people aboard were killed.
2001 It was reported that the Northern Alliance had taken 
 Kabul, Afghanistan, from the ruling Taliban. The Northern 
 Alliance at this point was reported to have control over 
 most of the northern areas of Afghanistan.
2002 Stan Lee filed a lawsuit against Marvel Entertainment 
 Inc. that claimed the company had cheated him out of 
 millions of dollars in movie profits related to the 2002 
 movie "Spider-Man." Lee was the creator of Spider-Man, 
 the Incredible Hulk and Daredevil.
2013  smiled

[ view entry ] ( 10 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 624 )

<<First <Back | 59 | 60 | 61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | Next> Last>>