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Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, November 1.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



Thank you, all, who sent in some help over the last weekend,
too many to list all of you here. 
(I wrote to all of them personally)

Thank you, Rita!
Thank you, Dorothy!
Thank you Adrien!
Thank you, Admiral James!
Thank you, Robert & Loretta!

>From Dr Bill
Re one's daughters beginning to date:   
"The father who worries the most about his daughters, 
is the one with the best memory."

Repeat of the Thanksgivukkah recipes:
Thanksgiving + Hanukkah = Thanksgivukkah.
Some excellent recipes there!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) Against logic there is no armor like ignorance. --- Laurence J. Peter Ability will never catch up with the demand for it. --- Malcolm Forbes
Becky and Sally Ann were doing some carpenter work on a house. Becky who was nailing down siding would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in. Sally Ann, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?" Becky explained, "When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away." Sally Ann got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!." --------- That is why we give them electric nail guns now, that sort the nails out for them automatically.
Fall Break was over and the teacher was asking the class about their vacations. She turned to little Johnny and asked what he did over the break. "We visited my grandmother in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania," he replied. "That sounds like an excellent vocabulary word," the teacher said. "Can you tell the class how you spell that?" Little Johnny thought about it and said, "You know, come to think of it, we went to Ohio."

Getting away from their high-stress jobs, a couple spent relaxing weekends in their motor home. When they found their peace and quiet disturbed by well-meaning, but unwelcome, visits from other campers, they devised a plan to assure themselves some privacy. Now, when they set up camp, they place this sign on the door of their RV: Insurance agents. Ask about our term-life package.
Thanks to Sue for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version Note the sunrise on the trees!
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Stephen Van Alphen, 46, North Fort Meyers, Floriduh Jailed After Exposing Himself To Neighbor's Kids, Challenging Deputies To Peek Under His Poncho Reported by The Weekly Vice Stephen Van Alphen, a 46-year-old Florida man, was jailed Friday after he allegedly exposed himself to neighbors and offered deputies a gander at his self described "small penis." According to the Lee County Sheriff's Office, deputies were dispatched to Van Alphen's neighborhood Friday after several neighbors called to report that a man was exposing himself. Deputies arrived to find Van Alphen walking around his neighborhood wearing nothing more than a poncho. His buttocks and genitals were fully exposed to neighbors, according to the arrest affidavit. When deputies confronted Van Alphen, he offered to show them his penis. "It's too small for anyone to see it anyway," Van Alphen retorted. Van Alphen's roommate told deputies that he had been drinking for three days prior to leaving the home to begin the exhibition. Van Alphen then walked back into his house to a waiting jug of vodka before he was arrested. Investigators say Van Alphen caused an uproar in the neighborhood earlier this month when he exposed himself to a 6-year-old boy while pretending to be a Ninja. Van Alphen later told officers that he was trying to perform a cartwheel maneuver when his pants accidentally fell down. Van Alphen was also arrested in February 2011 when police confiscated 14 pot plants, a gallon jug filled with dried pot, and an elaborate growing system from his home in Naples. In that case he was arrested on multiple felony charges that involved the manufacture and possession of marijuana. He later told local reporters that he planned to continue growing pot and aspired to be a "criminal mastermind without hurting anyone." Van Alphen now faces charges of indecent exposure and resisting arrest. He was released after posting bond. Tech Support Pits From: Robert & Loretta Re: Can't get your newsletter Dear Webby, I am sending along a check for you and also one for Ophelia will you please give it to her. Also please continue your wonderful Webby subscription P.S. I have not been able to receive your subscripton for quite some time help please to restore me! So long for now and stay well! Robert & Loretta Dear Robert and Loretta! Thank you very much for your help! I really appreciate it! I checked the list, and you are definitely subscribed. Your check also cranked up your subscription to Ophelia's newsletter to the full version. I already did that now for her, before even crediting her for the money. Check your spam folder. Most likely Gmail put your newsletters in there, because they contain pictures. Just make a filter that tells it to never put mail from these addresses into spam: humor@webby.com, ophelia@dingbatter.com You can put both addresses into the same filter, separated with a comma. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Handmade Fireplace Logs To make handmade fireplace logs, all you need is a large amount of newspaper, a wooden dowel (or a metal rod, shower curtain rod or closet rod) about 3/4-1+ inch diameter, a few drops of dish soap and some water. Do not use slick, colored paper from sales inserts and circulars etc. Telephone book pages may be used, though they are small and must be torn out of the book. Fill a kitchen sink or a large tub 1/2 full with water (warm will be more comfortable for your hands). Add a few drops of dish soap and stir. Run newspapers, folded in half lengthwise, like you are reading the front page, through the water. Wrap the now-wet newspaper around the dowel and smooth paper down as you wrap. Overlap the next piece a few inches over the end of the previous one and continue to add more newspaper until the log is as big as you like it. Wiggle or twist the dowel/rod as you slip the paper log from the dowel. Stand the 'logs' on end outdoors in a protected area out of the rain. If good weather is predicted they can be left in the sun and they will dry faster. Place them to dry on piles of clean dried leaves, flattened cardboard boxes, or in mesh crates with plenty of space between them so air may circulate around them. Over the next few days, rotate the logs to place the opposite end up, and move them around to ensure all the sides get dry. When thoroughly dried they may be burned just like regular logs. Store them in a dry location. Cotton or jute twine may be tied around each log to hold them together, if the final edge curls up or you wrapped them loosely. By Daleen F. There are "Cranks" available to crank out the paper logs with dry paper. However, they produce less of the CO2, that we need for the grain fields and forests, than the wet method paper logs. Paper logs made with either method have to be burned with lots of air, or they go out. Even when burned with lots of air, they produce an awful lot of ash. The second best way to use the paper logs is to burn them together with construction left-overs. Most construction sites allow you to scavenge cut-offs, some even encourage it. The best way to get rid of the paper logs is to sell them, Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Census Taker: "How many children do you have?" Woman: "Four." Census Taker: "May I have their names, please?" Woman: "Eenie, Meenie, Minie and George." Census Taker: "Okay, that's fine. But may I ask why you named your fourth child George?" Woman: "Because we didn't want any Moe."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Thanks to Sandie for this news report: Apple computers Apple Computer reported today that it has developed computer chips that can store and play music inside women's breasts . The i-boob is considered to be a major breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

Buchart Gardens

Today, Nov 22, in
1699 A treaty was signed by Denmark, Russia, Saxony and 
 Poland for the partitioning of the Swedish Empire.
1718 English pirate Edward Teach (a.k.a. "Blackbeard") was 
 killed during a battle off the coast of North Carolina. 
 British soldiers cornered him aboard his ship and killed 
 him. He was shot and stabbed more than 25 times.
1906 The International Radio Telegraphic Convention in 
 Berlin adopted the SOS distress signal.
1910 Arthur F. Knight patented a steel shaft to replace wood 
 shafts in golf clubs.
1928 In Paris, "Bolero" by Maurice Ravel was first 
 performed publicly.
1935 The first trans-Pacific airmail flight began in Alameda, CA, 
 when the flying boat known as the China Clipper left for Manila. 
 The craft was carrying over 110,000 pieces of mail.
1942 During World War II, the Battle of Stalingrad began.
1943 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt, British Prime Minister 
 Winston Churchill and Chinese leader Chiang Kai-shek met in 
 Cairo to discuss the measures for defeating Japan.
1963 U.S. President Kennedy was assassinated while riding 
in a motorcade in Dallas, TX. Texas Governor John B. Connally 
 was also seriously wounded. Vice-President Lyndon B. Johnson 
 was inaugurated as the 36th U.S. President.
1972 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon lifted a ban on American 
 travel to Cuba. The ban had been put in place on February 8, 1963.
1974 The U.N. General Assembly gave the Palestine Liberation 
 Organization observer status.
1975 Juan Carlos I was proclaimed King of Spain upon the 
 death of Gen. Francisco Franco.
1975 "Dr. Zhivago" appeared on TV for the first time. NBC paid 
 $4 million for the broadcast rights.
1977 Regular passenger service on the Concorde began 
 between New York and Europe.
1983 The Bundestag approved NATO's plan to deploy 
 new U.S. nuclear missiles in West Germany.
1985 38,648 immigrants became citizens of the United States. 
 It was the largest swearing-in ceremony.
1986 An Iranian surface-to-surface missile hit a residential 
 area in the Iraqi capital of Baghdad, wounding 20 civilians.
1986 Attorney Generel Meese's office discovered a memo in 
 Colonel Oliver North's office that included an amount of 
 money to be sent to the Contras from the profits of 
 weapons sales to Iran.
1986 Mike Tyson became the youngest to wear the world 
 heavyweight-boxing crown. He was only 20 years and 
 4 months old.
1988 The South African government announced it had joined 
 Cuba and Angola in endorsing a plan to remove Cuban 
 troops from Angola.
1989 Rene Moawad, the president of Lebanon, was assassinated 
 less than three weeks after taking office by a bomb that 
 exploded next to his motorcade in West Beirut.
1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush, his wife, Barbara, 
 shared Thanksgiving dinner with U.S. troops in Saudi Arabia.
1990 British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher announced 
 she would resign.
1993 Mexico's Senate overwhelmingly approved the 
 North American Free Trade Agreement.
1994 Inside the District of Columbia's police headquarters 
 a gunman opened fire. Two FBI agents, a city detective 
 and the gunman were killed in the gun battle.
1994 In northwest Bosnia, Serb fighters set villages on 
 fire in response to retaliatory air strikes by NATO.
1998 CBS's "60 Minutes" aired a tape of Jack Kevorkian 
 giving lethal drugs in an assisted suicide of a terminally 
 ill patient. Kevorkian was later sentenced to 25 years in 
 prison for second-degree murder.
2005 Microsoft's XBOX 360 went on sale.


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