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Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, November 23.

Thank you, Nikki!

Have FUN!

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The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly anything. --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832) A stupid man's report of what a clever man says can never be accurate, because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)
>From Roland Three Colorado nature lovers went for a drive into the mountains one day to see if they could spot some bears. They wanted to take pictures of bears for their photo album. So they drove along an old dirt road until they entered the trees. As they rounded a curve, they spotted a sign that read, "BEAR LEFT." So they turned around and went home.

Jon was in his usual place, sitting at the table, reading the paper during breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress who was about to marry a football player who was known primarily for his lack of IQ. He turned to his wife with a look of bewilderment on his face. "I'll never understand why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives." His wife replies, "Why, thank you, dear!"
Click on the picture for the large version Note the sunrise on the trees!
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Charles "Chuck" Barry, 48, Trinity, Floriduh Jailed After Flashing Gun At Dunkin' Donuts, Demanding Police Officer Discount Reported by The Weekly Vice Charles "Chuck" Barry, a 48-year-old Florida man, was jailed Tuesday after he allegedly pretended to be a law enforcement officer to get a Dunkin' Donuts discount. According to the Pasco County Sheriff's Office, Barry pulled into a Dunkin' Donuts drive thru Tuesday morning, placed his order, and then pulled forward to the cashier's window in his Volkswagen minivan. Upon arriving at the window, Barry became "irate" when he learned that he would no longer be receiving a "law enforcement officer" discount on his purchases. Investigators say Barry and his family visited the restaurant on a regular basis, and argued with employees over getting the discount. The staff reportedly knew that Barry wasn't a real law enforcement officer because he sometimes claimed to be a federal air marshal while displaying a deputy's badge. Each time the store tried to withhold the discount, Barry would argue in the drive thru, holding up traffic, until the store gave in to his demand. The store eventually contacted the sheriff's office, who set up a surveillance system to record Barry's next visit. That didn't take long. On Tuesday morning, video surveillance cameras captured Barry as he verbally assaulted the cashier after learning that his LEO discount had been discontinued. At one point in the confrontation, Barry allegedly raised a .38 revolver and stated "See, I'm a cop." Deputies arrived at the scene as Barry was leaving the drive thru. Deputies stopped Barry and questioned him about his gun and asked to see his law enforcement credentials. Barry allegedly showed deputies the gun, his badge and stated "I did a stupid thing. I showed a badge to get the law enforcement discount on my food." He was immediately taken into custody. Barry was booked into the Pasco County Jail and charged with impersonating a law enforcement officer and improper exhibition of a firearm. He was released after posting $5150 bond. Tech Support Pits From: Diane Re: PayPal account limit notice Dear Webby, Did you get the PayPal account limit notice I forwared to you? In case you didn't, is an account limit notice like that legit? It has all the right colors and logos, but I vaguely remember you saying that if there is a link to click on, it is phony. It does have a link, but it looks legit. Trust it or dump it? Dianne Dear Dianne Dump it. What you forwarded must have been dumped by my MailWasher as obvious fraud and/or spam. It recognizes that and didn't even bother showing it to me. Just do the same thing. Dump it. If you have done something, that might cause PayPal to limit your account, go check it out at, by typing that into the browser address bar, NEVER by clicking on a link. Once you go to PayPal, you will find that your account is just fine, and probably has more money in it, than you expected. Both MailWasher and Eudora show the underlying URL behind a link, and if that one is, then it is rather obvious that it is a scam. Maybe ask Santa to get you Mailwasher. I sure am glad I got it in the 90's. It saved me a lot of time and hassles. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Carry a Laundry Basket in Your Car I keep a spare plastic laundry basket in the trunk of my car. It's great for toting home breakables (eggs, fruit or other groceries) or yard sale finds. Once I get home, I sort through the items and then put the empty basket back in the hallway near the front door, ready to put back in the car for my next trip. By Claire from Phoenix, AZ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
A husband and wife were involved in a petty argument, both of them unwilling to admit they might be in error. "I'll admit I'm wrong," the wife told her husband in a conciliatory attempt, "if you'll admit I'm right." He agreed and, like a gentleman, insisted she go first. "I'm wrong," she said. With a twinkle in his eye, he responded, "You're right!" And ducked fast.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A kid called up his mum from college and asked her for some money. Mum said, "Sure, sweetie. Mum will send you some money. You also left your calculus book here when you visited 2 weeks ago. Do you want me to send that up too?" "Uhh, oh yeah," responded the kid. So Mum wrapped up the book along with the checks in a package, kissed Dad goodbye and went to the post office to mail the money and the book. When she returned, Dad asked, "Well how much did you give the boy this time?" Mum said, "Oh, I wrote him two checks: one for $20, and the other for $1,000." "That's $1,020!" yelled Dad. "Are you crazy???" "Don't worry, hon," Mum said. "I taped the $20 check to the cover of his book, but I put the $1,000 one somewhere between the pages in chapter 19! It stale dates in 60 days and becomes worthless."

Goofy Restaurant Signs

Today, Nov 23, in
1765 Frederick County, MD, repudiated the British Stamp Act.
1835 Henry Burden patented the horseshoe manufacturing 
1889 The first jukebox made its debut in San Francisco, 
 at the Palais Royale Saloon.
1890 Princess Wilhelmina became Queen of the Netherlands 
 at the age of 10 when her father William III died.
1943 During World War II, U.S. forces seized control of 
 Tarawa and Makin from the Japanese during the Central 
 Pacific offensive in the Gilbert Islands.
1945 The U.S. wartime rationing of most foods ended.
1948 Dr. Frank G. Back patented the "Zoomar" lens.
1971 The People's Republic of China was seated in the 
 United Nations Security Council.
1979 In Dublin, Ireland, Thomas McMahon was sentenced 
 to life imprisonment for the assassination of Earl 
1980 In southern Italy, approximately 4,800 people were 
 killed in a series of earthquakes.
1983 The first Pershing II missiles were deployed in West 
 Germany. In response, the U.S.S.R. broke off International 
 Nuclear Forces (INF) talks in Geneva and pouted.
1985 Larry Wu-tai Chin, a retired CIA analyst, was arrested 
 and accused of spying for China. He committed suicide a 
 year after his conviction.
1985 Gunmen hijacked an Egyptian jetliner en route from 
 Athens to Cairo. The plane was forced to land in Malta.
1988 Wayne Gretzky scored his 600th National Hockey League 
 (NHL) goal.
1989 Lucia Barrera de Cerna, a housekeeper who claimed 
 she had witnessed the slaying of six Jesuit priests and 
 two other people at the Jose Simeon Canas University in 
 El Salvador, was flown to the U.S.
1994 About 111 people, mostly women and children, were 
 killed in a stampede after Indian police baton-charged 
 tribal protesters in the western city of Nagpur.
1998 Dennis Rodman filed for an annulment from Carmen Electra. 
 The two had been married on November 14, 1998.
1998 The tobacco industry signed the biggest U.S. civil 
 settlement. It was a $206-billion deal to resolve 
 remaining state claims for treating sick smokers.
1998 A U.S. federal judge rejected a Virginia county's 
 effort to block pornography on library computer calling 
 the attempt unconstitutional.
2010 North Korea shelled Yeonpyeong Island. 

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