Windows 7 fails to install updates 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, November 25.

Today's Internationsl Bonehead Award goes to three 
Sasquatch Hunters. 
Details at International Bonehead Awards

Towns added:
>From Alison
Here is an odd town name for you.  
84, Pennsylvania.
by the way I live in 
Zelienople, Pa.  
Not that interesting, perhaps, but its a lot of fun when 
telemarketers try to pronounce it.
Thanks for taking some of the pain out of getting up in 
the morning.
Carry on!
Alison

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today. --- Herman Wouk (1915 - )
Real notes to the Milkman These notes left for milkmen came from England, where milk apparently is still being delivered. "Dear Milkman, I've just had a baby, please leave another one." "Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk." "Cancel one pint after the day after today." "Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it" "Milkman please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk." "Milkman. please could I have a loaf but not bred today." "Please cancel milk. I have nothing coming into the house but two sons on the dole." "Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks." "Sorry about yesterdays note. I didn't mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way round." "When you leave my milk knock on my bedroom window and wake me because I want you 'to give me a hand to turn the mattress. "Please knock. My TV's broken down and I missed last nights Coronation Street. If you saw it, will you tell me what happened over a cup of tea." "My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before you deliver or do I have to shake the bottle." "Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbour told me." "Please send me details about cheap milk as I am stagnant." "Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it." "From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays when I don't want any milk." "My back door is open. Please put milk in 'fridge, get money out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen table in pence, because we want to play bingo tonight." "Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday." "When you leave the milk please put the coal on the boiler, let dog out and put newspaper inside the screen door. PS. Don't leave any milk. "No milk. Please do not leave milk at No.14 either as he is dead until further notice."

Dear Diary: Monday: Now home from honeymoon and settled in our new home. It's fun to cook for Bob. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said, "Beat 12 eggs separately" The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls. Tuesday: Bob wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said, "Serve without dressing." So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Bob brought a friend home for supper. Wednesday: A good day for rice. Recipe said, "Wash thoroughly before steaming the rice." It seemed kinda of silly but I took a bath. I can't say it improved the rice any. Thursday: Today Bob asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said, "Prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving." Which is what led up to Bob asking me why there was lettuce in our bed that night. Friday: I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said, "Put a! ll ingredients in bowl and beat it." There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left. Saturday: Bob did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday. ( oh boy) For some reason Bob keeps counting to ten. Sunday: Bob's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast. All I could find was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment. Good night, Dear Diary. This has been a very exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Bob. If we could just get a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with "Chocolate Moose."
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Omar Pineda, 21, Perry James, 53, and Lacey Pineda, 22 in Rogers County, Oklahoma Man shoots friend while hunting for Bigfoot Reported by the Daily News Omar Pineda, 21, heard what he thought was 'barking' when he turned and shot his unidentified Sasquatch-hunting partner in some woods north of Tulsa, Okla., Saturday, police said. The victim was shot in the back and expected to survive. Two men were hunting for Bigfoot in rural Oklahoma when one of them accidentally shot the other, police said. Omar Pineda, 21, was spooked by what he thought was "barking" when he jerked around and shot his pal in a wooded area north of Tulsa on Saturday, Tulsa's News 6 reported. The friend, who wasn't identified, was shot in the back and expected to survive. EMTs met the pair at a QuikTrip convenience store after the shooting. Pineda was arrested for reckless conduct with a firearm and obstruction. His father-in-law, Perry James, and his wife, Lacey Pineda, were also arrested for helping the Sasquatch hunters evade investigation. Cops said James, 53, tossed Pineda's gun into a pond on his property, while the 22-year-old Lacey told cops someone else fired at the pair, News 6 reported. "If (they) had just been factual, upfront and truthful with us and explained that this was truly an accident, as strange as it might sound, we would have went ahead and investigated and probably nobody would have (gone) to jail," Rogers County Sheriff Scott Walton told the station. No Sasquatch was hurt in this incident. Tech Support Pits From: Russel Re: Windows7 fails to install updates Dear Webby: One of my W7 laptops running Professional had a similar problem. It kept telling me it was updating prior to shutting down but continued to go through the same process every power down sequence. I believe this is the link I used to solve the problem. See ‘Best Solution’. Windows Update Fails. Hard to be productiive when crap happens. - Russ Dear Rus Thank you! Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing Permanent Marker As a teacher, once when I was preparing for a class, I used a permanent marker on the new dry eraser board. I read the marker and found EXPO's 1-800 number and called it for help. You can erase permanent marker by writing over it with another marker and wiping it off with a tissue. The second method for removing it is EXPO Erase spray. I have removed many a nasty note (middle schoolers) from desks, chairs, and mirrors in the bathroom. It should be named Miracle Spray. By SandyE from Battle Creek, MI Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying; DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor besides the cash register. He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" "Yep, that's him," he replied. The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?" "Because"; the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him nd bshing their teeth out on the counter."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Morris, a professional photographer was invited to dinner at the Goldblums. He took along a few pictures to show the hostess. Millie Goldblum looked at his photos and commented, "These are very good! You must have a very good camera." He didn't make any comment, however, as he was leaving to go home he said, "That was a really delicious meal, Millie!" "Thank you!" she replied enthusiastically. Then Morris added, "You must have a very good stove!"

» Pencil Portraits

Today, Nov 26, in
1716 The first lion to be exhibited in America went on 
 display in Boston, MA.
1789 U.S. President Washington set aside this day to 
 observe the adoption of the Constitution of the US.
1825 The first college social fraternity, Kappa Alpha, 
 was formed at Union College in Schenectady, NY.
1832 Public streetcar service began in New York City.
1867 J.B. Sutherland patented the refrigerated railroad car.
1917 The National Hockey League (NHL) was officially 
 formed in Montreal, Canada.
1922 In Egypt, Howard Carter peered into the tomb of 
 King Tutankhamen.
1940 The Nazis forced 500,000 Jews of Warsaw, Poland 
 to live within a walled ghetto.
1941 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed a bill 
 establishing the fourth Thursday in November as 
 Thanksgiving Day. 
1942 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt ordered 
 nationwide gasoline rationing to begin December 1.
1942 The motion picture "Casablanca" had its world 
 premiere at the Hollywood Theater in New York City.
1943 The HMS Rohna became the first ship to be sunk 
 by a guided missile, causing the death of 1,015 U.S. 
 troops.
1949 India's Constituent Assembly adopted the country's 
 constitution The country became republic within the 
 British Commonwealth two months later.
1950 China entered the Korean conflict forcing UN 
 forces to retreat.
1965 France became the third country to enter space when 
 it launched its first satellite the Diamant-A.
1979 The International Olympic Committee voted to 
 re-admit China after a 21-year absence.
1983 A Brinks Mat Ltd. vault at London's Heathrow Airport 
 was robbed by gunmen. The men made off with 6,800 gold 
 bars worth nearly $40 million. Only a fraction of the 
 gold has ever been recovered and only two men were 
 convicted in the heist.
1985 The rights to Richard Nixon's autobiography were 
 acquired by Random House for $3,000,000.
1986 U.S. President Reagan appointed a commission headed 
 by former Sen. John Tower to investigate his National 
 Security Council staff after the Iran-Contra affair.
1988 The U.S. denied an entry visa to PLO chairman Yasser 
 Arafat, who was seeking permission to travel to New York 
 to address the U.N. General Assembly.
1990 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev met with Iraqi 
 Foreign Minister Tariq Aziz at the Kremlin to demand that 
 Iraq withdraw from Kuwait.
1990 Matsushita Electric Industrial Co. agreed to acquire 
 MCA Inc. for $6.6 billion.
1992 The British government announced that 
 Queen Elizabeth II had volunteered to start paying taxes 
 on her personal income. She also took her children off 
 the public payroll.
1995 Two men set fire to a subway token booth in the 
 Brooklyn borough of New York City. The clerk inside was 
 fatally burned.
1997 The U.S. and North Korea held high-level discussions 
 at the State Department for the first time.
1998 Hulk Hogan announced that he was retiring from pro 
 wrestling and would run for president in 2000.
2003 The U.N. atomic agency adopted a resolution that 
 censured Iran for past nuclear cover-ups and warning 
 that it would be policed to put to rest suspicions 
 that the country had a weapons agenda. 


[ view entry ] ( 11 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 497 )

<<First <Back | 59 | 60 | 61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | Next> Last>>