Larger clock 

Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, December 11.

Today, Wednesday, I have to go into Calgary for
injections into my eyeballs. That means no newsletters on
Thursday, Friday and  Saturday. On Saturday I hope to be
able to write and send out the Sunday issue. is for sale. The sale of this domain name includes a quarter year hosting, and a basic site design. You have to gather the pictures yourself, though, and put some text together. The text can be in email or word processor or text file, or HTML, if you are already familiar with it. Once you have your own site, you can, of course edit and expand at any time. I will just make a headstart desgn for you, if you want that.
Today's International Bonehead Award goes to Florida Teacher gets 38 years for fixing a 12 year old boy's virginity Details at International Bonehead Awards
Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. --- Sidney J. Harris
At one of the last all girl schools in Dallas years ago, the instructor in a "Charm Course" was urging her students to give their escorts every chance to be gallant. "Remain seated in the truck until he has had time to step around and open the door for you." she said. Then, returning to reality, she added, "But... if the big, dumb galoot is in the restaurant flirting at the waitress -- don't wait any longer."

A business associate of mine decided it was time to shed some excess pounds. He took his new diet seriously, even changing his driving route to avoid his favorite bakery. One morning, however, he arrived at work carrying a gigantic coffeecake. We all scolded him, but his smile remained cherubic. "This is a very special coffeecake," he explained. "I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and there in the window were a host of goodies. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed, `Lord, if you want me to have one of those delicious coffeecakes, let me have a parking place directly in front of the bakery.' "And sure enough," he continued, "the eighth time around the block, there it was!"
Thanks to dad for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Ethel Anderson, Hillsborough County, Floriduh Florida Teacher gets 38 years for fixing a 12 year old boy's virginity Reported by Tom W. A Hillsborough County judge told Ethel Anderson she 'groomed' a student 'for her own deviant' purposes before sentencing her to 38 years behind bars. Anderson, an award winning teacher, was found guilty of nine counts of sex crime charges. "Despite what the court might see, I am not a sexual predator," Anderson told the judge Monday. Prosecutors say Anderson lured a 12-year-old boy into a sexual affair using text messages. They presented more than 230 pages of text messages between Anderson and the victim. In a move that seemingly backfired, Anderson took the stand in her own defense and told jurors the texts were all "fantasy" and used them as a teaching tool to keep the boy's attention. "You groomed this child," said Hillsborough Circuit Judge Chet Tharpe. Tharpe also said Anderson manipulated the boy's parents into believing he was safe while with her. Anderson, mom to a six-year-old, was led away in cuffs to begin her 38 year sentence. Last December, she resigned from Mango Elementary School. The boy has since transferred schools. "Anger and hatred don't even begin to explain how I feel about what you took from my son," said the boy's mother in a written statement read by prosecutors. "His innocence is lost forever." --------------- Awwww! When my mom (correctly) guessed, that my innocence was lost forever, she slipped a 6-pack of condoms into my lunch bag. Not a word was said about it. No drama, but then, in those days, there was no texting or anything, that could be used against anybody. Sure, there was poetry, in rhyme and rythm, as pay per lay, but without any name and most carefully without mentioning anything, that could point to any certain, ahem, individual. In those days, we had class! I realized much later, that a juvenile with the urge can crank out a lot more poetry, than he can during the rest of his life. I sure did not miss my forever lost innocence, but became a very prolific juvenile poet! :D Tech Support Pits From: Inga Re: Large clock Dear Webby I realized that Microslop can't handle desktop gadgets like the clock any more, and the add-on gadgets on the net come with really sleazy viruses like Nav-Link. Thanks to your warning I stopped the installation before it did anything. So, what is a girl to do when she wants a big clock suitable for senior eyes? Thanks Inga Dear Inga Try Roman Clock Classic Roman Clock Click for bigger sample
If you go to you can download and install a pack of screen savers, including that Roman clock, the "Polish Digital Clock" by Yugo Nakamura, and even a classic Mickey Mouse clock. Fourteen different clocks. They are all clean screen savers, If anybody is interested, I'll write about how to make a Boss key to instantly launch a screen saver and hide from the boss that you are playing "Revenge of the bimbos" on company time. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Cheese Grater Tip Before you begin grating cheese, brush a little vegetable oil on the grater. It will clean easier when you are finished. By Sandy from Graettinger IA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Inscribed in stone over the great front doors of an old church being restored was: "This is the Gate of Heaven." Just below it someone had placed a small cardboard sign which read: "CLOSED Use Other Entrance"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A famous author was autographing copies of his new novel in a Cleveland department store. One gentleman pleased him by bringing up not only his new book for signature, but reprint editions of his two previous ones as well. "My wife likes your stuff," he remarked apologetically, "I thought I'd give her these signed copies for a birthday present." "A surprise, eh?" hazarded the author. "I'll say," agreed the customer. "She's expecting a Jeep."
An "air freshener" salesman goes to an executive building to market his product to a prospective buyer. He steps in to an empty elevator and presses the 10th floor button. Just as the doors close, he lets out a God-awful fart. He then can feel the elevator stopping on the fifth floor and he knows that someone will be stepping on so he quickly sprays his new "Pine-Scented" air freshener to cover his tracks. The person that was on the 5th floor steps onto the elevator. The salesman decides that this is a good opportunity to test his product's quality so he asks the man, "Excuse me sir, could you kindly tell me what you smell?" The man replies, "Yeah, smells like a turkey with diahrea hiding in a Christmas Tree".


Today, December 11, in
1719 The first recorded sighting of the Aurora Borealis was 
 in New England.
1769 Edward Beran of London patented venetian blinds.
1792 France's King Louis XVI went before the Convention, 
 which had replaced the National Assembly, to face charges 
 of treason. He was convicted and condemned and was sent 
 to the guillotine the following January.
1844 Dr. Horace Wells became the first person to have a 
 tooth extracted after receiving an anesthetic for the 
 dental procedure. Nitrous Oxide, or laughing gas, was used.
1882 Boston's Bijou Theater had its first performance. First 
 American playhouse lit exclusively by electricity.
1894 The world's first motor show opened in Paris with nine 
1930 The Bank of the United States in New York failed.
1936 Britain's King Edward VIII abdicated in order to marry 
 American Wallis Warfield Simpson. He became the Duke of 
1937 The Fascist Council in Rome, withdrew Italy from the 
 League of Nations.
1941 Germany and Italy declared war on the United States. 
 The U.S in turn declared war on the two countries.
1961 The first direct American military support for South 
 Vietnam occurred when a U.S. aircraft carrier carrying 
 Army helicopters arrived in Saigon.
1973 West German Chancellor Willy Brandt and Czech Prime 
 Minister Lubomir Strougal formally nullified the 1938 
 Munich pact when they had signed a treaty sanctioning 
 Hitler's seizure of Czechoslovakia's German speaking 
1980 U.S. President Jimmy Carter signed into law legislation 
 creating $1.6 billion environmental "superfund" that would 
 be used to pay for cleaning up chemical spills and toxic 
 waste dumps.
1981 Muhammad Ali fought his last fight. He lost his 61st 
 fight to Trevor Berbick.
1985 General Electric Company agreed to buy RCA Corporation 
 for $6.3 billion. Also included in the deal was NBC Radio 
 and Television.
1987 Charlie Chaplin's trademark cane and bowler hat were 
 sold at Christie's for 82,500.
1988 62 people were killed in a Mexico City marketplace when 
 tons of illegal fireworks exploded.
1990 Ivana Trump was divorced from Donald Trump after 12 
 years of marriage.
1991 Salman Rushdie, under an Islamic death sentence for 
 blasphemy, made his first public appearance since 1989 in 
 New York, at a dinner marking the 200th anniversary of 
 the First Amendment (which guarantees freedom of speech 
 in the U.S.).
1994 Thousands of Russian troops, armored columns and jets 
 entered Chechnya. The move by Moscow was an effort to 
 restore control the breakaway republic.
1994 The world's largest free trade zone was created when 
 leaders of 34 Western Hemisphere nations signed a free-trade 
 declaration known as "The Miami Process."
1997 Sinn Fein leader Gerry Adams became the first political 
 ally of the IRA to meet a British leader in 76 years. He 
 conferred with Prime Minister Tony Blair in London.
1997 More than 150 countries agreed at a global warming 
 conference in Kyoto, Japan, to control the Earth's 
 "greenhouse gases." Canada thought it was BS and abstained.
1998 The Mars Climate Orbiter blasted off on a nine-month 
 journey to the Red Planet. However, the probe disappeared 
 in September of 1999, apparently destroyed because scientists 
 had failed to convert English measures to metric values.
2000 Mario Lemeiux, owner of Pittsburgh Penquins, announced 
 that he would end his three-plus year retirement and become 
 an active National Hockey League (NHL) player again. When 
 Lemieux returned officially he became the first owner/player 
 in NHL history.
2001 It was announced that U.S. President George W. Bush would 
 withdraw the U.S. from the 1972 Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty 
 with Russia.
2001 Federal agents seized computers in 27 U.S. cities as part 
 of "Operation Buccaneer." The raids were used to gain evidence 
 against an international software piracy ring.
2013  smiled.

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