When mail size is restrictred 

Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, December 17.

Home4Christmas.com is for sale. The sale of this domain name includes a quarter year hosting, and a basic site design. You have to gather the pictures yourself, though, and put some text together. The text can be in email or word processor or text file, or HTML, if you are already familiar with it. Once you have your own site, you can, of course edit and expand at any time. I will just make a headstart desgn for you, if you want that. If you want to make money with this during THIS Christmas, then you better hurry!
Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Mother Jailed for huffing whippets and passing out with child in car Details at International Bonehead Awards
From Nanarina: Fox hunting under the snow
More town names from James: Blue Ball, Idaho Long Dong, China Spread Eagle, Wisconsin. Mary's Inlet, Canada Humptulips, Washington
The 50 most insane driving laws. Have FUN! DearWebby
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The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none. --- Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881)
Henry Kissinger once asked Chou En-Lai to theorize on what might have happened if Nikita Khrushchev had been assassinated instead of John F. Kennedy. After a moment's thought, Chou En-Lai answered: "I don't believe Mr. Onassis would have married Mrs. Khrushchev."
LOTS of Guilt-Free Chocolate Recipes They Are All Original, Rich, Raw Delicious & Unbelievably Healthy Yet So Easy To Make! Our original chocolate recipes have all the delicious flavor, smoothness and decadence of what you love about chocolate, but with an amazing twist.

A man asked for a divorce. The judge asked him why he wanted a divorce. He replied, that he lived in a Two Story House. The Judge replied, "What kind of a reason is that? What is the big deal about a two story house?" The man answers, "Well Judge, one story is: 'I have a headache' and the other story is 'It's that time of the month.'" "Granted."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jennifer Ann Lee, 29, Tampa, Floriduh Jailed for huffing whippets with child in car A Florida mom was nonchalant when cops questioned her about her alleged use of "whippets" in her car while her 1-year-old child was in the back seat. Jennifer Ann Lee, 29, passed out after huffing the contents of one of the small containers, which usually contain nitrous oxide, police told The Tampa Tribune. A passerby in Bradenton noticed Lee asleep at the wheel at an intersection, and offered to drive her to a safe location, WTSP reports. Lee agreed. The witness also called a friend of Lee's to check on her, and that friend ended up calling police. He reportedly told officers that Lee was "doing whippets" in front of him. When officers arrived, they reportedly found small canisters at the suspect's feet and in her seat. A subsequent search revealed 20 more of the canisters. The child was unharmed. Police say she admitted to doing whippets and falling asleep at the wheel. She allegedly told them, "I was tired and it happens." She was uncooperative when they arrested her. She was charged with felony child neglect, My Fox Tampa Bay reports. -------- Whippets can be the huff of Nitrous Oxide (Laughing gas) in Whipped Cream cans, but they can also be the gas cartridges for refillable whipped cream makers. Since she actually passed out, she most likely was using the cartridges. They can be "popped" with a thumbtack. Huffing laughing gas can be fun at a stag party, especially when alternated with huffs of helium to produce a Donald Duck voice, but should never be done without supervision, and especially not in a vehicle! Tech Support Pits From: Beverly Re: Mail Size Restrictions Hi Dear Webby, I have a problem. The server that my ISP uses has restricted the size of each email that we can receive and now I am having trouble receiving any email with pictures. I wondered if you can give me a referral to Gmail? The Service Tech from my ISP said he thought you could receive any size email through it, and I have read several times in the Humor Letter where you speak pretty highly of it. I went to Google and read about it and really would like to try it. I hope you can help me. Thanks! Beverly M Dear Beverly Just go to http://gmail.com It will guide you through the sign-up. You don't need referrals any more. Yes, with Gmail there are no kindergarten limits. Just take your time to customize it to your liking, and you'll be quite happy with it. Also go into Settings, Filters, and get comfortable with making filters. Gmail has very strong spam filtering, and you have to exclude important stuff. For example, if I write about how to get rid of some malware, it will likely consider that to be evil spam and dump it into the Spam folder. Just make a filter to tell it that mail from humor@webby.com should never be put into SPAM. Do the same with the addresses of utility companies, banks, etc. You can even use Gmail with regular POP programs like Eudora or Outlook, not just with it's web interface. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Persian Lamb This recipe is easy to make and has lots of flavor. I have made this dish for a number of parties and it is always a crowd pleaser. Ingredients: 2 to 3 lbs. boneless lamb, cubed 4 cloves chopped garlic 1 (6 oz.) can chickpeas 2 Tbsp. tomato paste 1 large bunch flat leaf parsley, cleaned and chopped juice of 2 large lemons 1/2 tsp. salt 1/4 tsp. pepper Directions: Brown Lamb and add to crock pot with all remaining ingredients. Cook 6 to 7 hours on low or 4 to 5 hours on high until meat is tender. I like to serve this dish over basmati rice. Note: This recipe can be prepared the night before. Just take the crock pot out of the fridge in the morning and turn the crock pot on! Servings: 6 to 8 Time: 20 Minutes Preparation Time 6 to 7 Hours Cooking Time By Pamela from South Hadley, MA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Peter decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Peter's station wagon and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farm house and asked the attractive lady of the house if they could spend the night. "I'm recently widowed," she explained, "and I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house." "Not to worry," Peter said, "we'll be happy to sleep in the barn." Nine months later, Peter got a letter from the widow's attorney. He then went up to visit his friend Bob and said, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow at the farm we stayed at?" "Yes, I do." "Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and have sex with her?" "Yes, I have to admit that I did." "Did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name, and give her one of MY business cards?" Bob's face turned red and he said, "Yeah, I'm afraid I did." "Well, thanks! She just died and left me everything!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Despite warnings from his guide, an American skiing in Swit- zerland got separated from his group and fell into a deep crevasse. Several hours later, a rescue party found the hole, and to reassure the stranded skier shouted down to him, "We're from the Red Cross" "Sorry," the imperturbable American echoed back, "I already gave at the office!"
Elmer Fudd and his buddy Sam are out in the woods hunting wascally wabbits...when suddenly, Sam grabs his chest and falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head. Elmer whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, "I tink Sam is dead! What should I do?" The operator, in a calm, soothing voice says, "Just take it easy and follow my instructions. First, let's make sure he's actually dead." A silence follows...and then a shot is heard. Elmer's voice comes back on the line: "Okay...now what?

Northern Lights

Today, December 17, in
1777 France recognized American independence.
1791 A traffic regulation in New York City established the 
 first street to go "One Way."
1830 South American patriot Simon Bolivar died in Colombia.
1895 George L. Brownell received a patent for his 
 paper-twine machine.
1903 The first successful gasoline-powered airplane flight 
 took place near Kitty Hawk, NC. Orville and Wilbur Wright 
 made the flight.
1939 The German pocket battleship Graf Spee was scuttled by 
 its crew, bringing the World War II Battle of the 
 Rio de la Plata (3 British battle ships against the Graf Spee) 
 off Uruguay to an end.
1944 The U.S. Army announced the end of its policy of excluding 
 Japanese-Americans from the West Coast which ensured that 
 Japanese-Americans were released from detention camps.
1957 The United States successfully test-fired the Atlas 
 intercontinental ballistic missile for the first time.
1969 The U.S. Air Force closed its Project "Blue Book" by 
 concluding that there was no evidence of extraterrestrial 
 spaceships behind thousands of UFO sightings.
1973 Thirty-one people were killed at Rome airport when Arab 
 guerillas hijacked a German airliner.
1975 Lynette Fromme was sentenced to life in prison for her 
 attempt on the life of U.S. President Ford.
1978 OPEC decided to raise oil prices by 14.5% by the end of 1979.
1986 Davina Thompson became the world's first recipient of a heart, 
 lungs, and liver transplant.
1986 Eugene Hasefus was pardoned and then released by Nicaragua. 
 He had been convicted of running guns to the Contras.
1992 U.S. President George H.W. Bush, Canadian Prime 
 Minister Brian Mulroney and Mexican President Carlos 
 Salinas de Gortari signed the North American Free Trade 
1992 Israel deported over 400 Palestinians to Lebanese 
 territory in an unprecedented mass expulsion of suspected 
1996 Peruvian guerrillas took hundreds of people hostage 
 at the Japanese embassy in Lima. The siege ended on 
 April 22, 1997, with a commando raid that resulted in the 
 deaths of all the rebels, two commandos and one hostage.
1997 U.S. President Clinton signed the No Electronic Theft Act. 
 The act removed protection from individuals who claimed that 
 they took no direct financial gains from stealing copyrighted 
 works and downloading them from the Internet.
2002 U.S. President George W. Bush ordered the Pentagon to have 
 ready for use within two years a system for protecting American 
 territory, troops and allies from ballistic missile attacks.
2002 McDonald's Corp. warned that they would report its first 
 quarterly loss in its 47-year history.
2002 The insurance and finance company Conseco Inc. filed for 
 Chapter 11 protection. It was the third-largest bankruptcy 
 in U.S. history.
2002 Congo's government, opposition parties and rebels signed 
 a peace agreement that ended four years of civil war.
2004 U.S. President George W. Bush signed into law the largest 
 overhaul of U.S. intelligence gathering in 50 years. The bill 
 aimed to tighten borders and aviation security. It also created 
 a federal counterterrorism center and a new intelligence director.
2013  smiled.

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