How to deal with telemarketers 

Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, December 20.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! is for sale. The sale of this domain name includes a quarter year hosting, and a basic site design. You have to gather the pictures yourself, though, and put some text together. The text can be in email or word processor or text file, or HTML, if you are already familiar with it. Once you have your own site, you can, of course edit and expand at any time. I will just make a headstart desgn for you, if you want that. If you want to make money with this during THIS Christmas, then you better hurry!
Today's International Bonehead Award goes to NJ drunk who showed up impaired for the drivers license road test Details at International Bonehead Awards
No UFO tonight. Sky was clear, but they seem to have gone, turned their lights off, or are simply not reflecting the moon tonight. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some smaller countries are neutral. --- Robert Orben
One Sunday morning, a mother went in to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready for church, to which he replied, "I'm not going." "Why not?" she asked. I'll give you two good reasons," he said. "One, they don't like me, and two, I don't like them." His mother replied, "I'll give YOU two good reasons why YOU SHOULD go to church. (1) You're 57 years old, and (2) you're the pastor!"
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Horowitz was feeling ill at work, and left after lunch to go home. He walked into the house and found his wife Fanny in the arms of another man. He started to yell at the interloper, "What right have you got to be messing with my wife?" The man answered calmly, "You may as well know that I am in love with Fanny and I would like to marry her. I understand you're a gambler. Why don't you be a good sport and sit down and play a game of gin rummy with me? If I lose, I'll never see her again; if you lose, you must agree to divorce her.... Okay?" "Okay," replied Horowitz, "but just to make it a little more interesting, why don't we play for a dollar a point?"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Stephen Goss, 53, Hacketstown, NJ Showed up drunk for drivers license road test A Hackettstown man is accused of trying to take his drivers license road test while drunk, police said. Officer Daniel Novoa was dispatched to the Motor Vehicle Commission office on Canfield Avenue on Dec. 11 after a test instructor detected a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emanating from 53-year-old Stephen Goss, police said. Goss had allegedly driven his vehicle from Hackettstown to the office and when the instructor thought she smelled alcohol on his breath, she contacted her supervisor, who had another employee contact police. Novoa arrived at the scene and found Goss behind the wheel with the engine running, waiting to take the test, police said. He was not allowed to take the test but was asked to perform the standardized field sobriety test before he was charged with driving while intoxicated and reckless driving, police said. Tech Support Pits From: Brett Re: Telemarketers Dear Webby You posted a good way to deal with telemarketers at one time. They did not bother me in those days, so I did not pay attention. My whole life seems to be like that. Can you please tell us again? Thanks Brett Dear Brett When I get a call, I mute the Internet radio from If the call is from a typical call center, either an 888 or similar number, or a forged name like "COLORADO", I click the phone onto speaker-phone mode. I don't have a girlfriend named COLORADO, actually, until I win the lottery, I don't realistically expect to have a girlfriend. When the telemarketer finally talks, I wait for a break, then tell him "Please Hold!" and click the Internet Radio off the Mute. Pretty snazzy HOLD music! He probably works for a company, that intends to put me on hold, if I ever want anything. While the telemarketer waits for me to take him off the HOLD, I continue working. Eventually he will give up and go bother somebody else. There is no point getting all riled up. Just put them on HOLD and grin. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Keeping Kitty Out of Your Christmas Tree I have been dealing with my year old kitty climbing into and knocking over my Christmas tree until I came up with this idea! I blew up balloons and added them to the tree! She jumped in and accidentally popped one causing her to jump off immediately! It stopped her from jumping into it again, so now I can finish decorating it, but I think I will still leave some in the tree, just in case. :D By Donna Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in a theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, ''Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat.'' The man groaned but didn't budge. The usher became impatient. ''Sir,'' the usher said, ''if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager.'' Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager. In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly. ''All right buddy, what's your name?'' ''Sam,'' the man moaned. ''Where ya from, Sam?'' the cop asked. ''The balcony.''
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Thanks to Rheta for sending this poem: When I was very little, All the Grandmas that I knew All walked around this world, In ugly grandma shoes. You know the ones I speak of, Those black clunky heeled kind, They just looked so very awful That it weighed upon my mind, For I knew, when I grew old, I'd have to wear those shoes, I'd think of that, from time to time It seemed like such bad news. I never was a rebel, I wore saddle shoes to school. And next came ballerinas Then the sandals, pretty cool. And then came spikes with pointed toes, Then platforms, very tall, As each new fashion came I wore them, one and all. But always, in the distance, Looming in my future, there, Was that awful pair of ugly shoes, The kind that Grandmas wear. I eventually got married And then I became a Mom. Our kids grew up and left, And then their children came along. I knew I was a Grandma And the time was drawing near, When those clunky, black, old lace up shoes Was what I'd have to wear. How would I do my gardening? Or take my morning hike? I couldn't even think about How I would ride my bike! But fashions kept evolving, And one day I realized That the shape of things to come Was changing, right before my eyes. And now, when I go shopping What I see, fills me with glee. For, in my jeans and Reeboks I'm as comfy as can be. And I look at all these teenage girls And there, upon their feet Are clunky, black, old Grandma shoes, And they really think they're neat.
As a teacher, Ms. Jones, was very curious about how each of her students celebrated Christmas. She called on young Patrick Murphy. "Tell me Patrick what do you do at Christmas time?", she asked. Patrick addressed the class, "Well Ms. Jones, me and my twelve brothers and sisters go to the midnight Mass and we sing hymns, then we come home very late, and we put mince pies by the back door and hang up our stockings. Then, all excited, we go to bed and wait for Father Christmas to come with all our toys". "Very nice Patrick", she said. "Now, Jimmy Brown what do you do at Christmas?" "Well, Ms. Jones, me and my sister also go to Church with Mom and Dad and we sing carols, and we get home ever so late. We put cookies and milk by the chimney and we hang up our stockings. We hardly sleep, waiting for Santa Claus to bring our presents." Realizing there was a Jewish boy in the class and not wanting to leave him out of the discussion, she asked, "Now, Isaac Cohen, what do you do at Christmas?" Isaac said, "Well, it's the same thing every year. Dad comes home from the office. We all pile into the Rolls Royce, then we drive to his toy store. When we get inside, we look at all the empty shelves and begin to sing 'What a Friend We Have in Jesus'. Then we all go to the Bahamas."

Natural Snowflakes

Today, December 20, in
1606 The "Susan Constant," "Godspeed" and "Discovery" set 
 sail from London. Their landing at Jamestown, VA, was the 
 start of the first permanent English settlement in America.
1699 Peter the Great ordered that the Russian New Year be 
 changed from September 1 to January 1.
1790 The first successful cotton mill in the United States 
 began operating at Pawtucket, RI.
1803 The United States Senate ratified a treaty that included 
 the purchase of the Louisiana Territories from France for 
 $15 million. The transfer was completed with formal 
 ceremonies in New Orleans.
1820 The state of Missouri enacted legislation to tax 
 bachelors between the ages of 21-50 for being unmarried. 
 The tax was $1 a year.
1864 Confederate forces evacuated Savannah, GA as Union Gen. 
 William T. Sherman continued his "March to the Sea."
1879 Thomas A. Edison privately demonstrated his incandescent 
 light at Menlo Park, NJ.
1880 New York's Broadway became known as the "Great White Way" 
 when it was lighted by electricity.
1892 Alexander T. Brown and George Stillman patented the 
 pneumatic tire.
1928 Mail delivery by dog sled began in Lewiston, ME.
1938 Vladimir Kosma Zworykin patented the iconoscope 
 television system.
1946 In Indochina (Vietnam), full-scale guerrilla warfare 
 between Vietnam partisans and French troops began.
1963 The Berlin Wall was opened for the first time to 
 West Berliners. It was only for the holiday season. It 
 closed again on January 6, 1964.
1987 More than 3,000 people were killed when the Dona Paz, 
 a Philippine passenger ship, collided with the tanker Vector 
 off Mindoro island, setting off a double explosion.
1989 General Noriega, Panama's dictator, was overthrown by a 
 United States invasion force invited by the new civilian 
 government. The project was known as Operation Just Cause.
1994 Marcelino Corniel, a homeless man, was shot and mortally 
 wounded by White House security officers. He had brandished 
 a knife near the executive mansion.
1995 An American Airlines Boeing 757 en route to Cali, 
 Colombia, crashed into a mountain, killing all but four of 
 the 163 people aboard.
1996 Doctors reported that a Cypriot woman who had taken 
 fertility drugs was carrying about 11 embryos.
1998 In Houston, TX, a 27-year-old woman gave birth to the 
 only known living set of octuplets.
1999 The Vermont Supreme Court ruled that homosexual couples 
 were entitled to the same benefits and protections as wedded 
 couples of the opposite sex.
1999 Sovereignty over the colony of Macao was transferred 
 from Portugal to China.
2001 The U.S. Congress passed a $20 billion package to finance 
 the war against terrorism taking place in Afghanistan.
2001 The first British peacekeepers arrived in Afghanistan 
 to help the nation heal after decades of war.
2013  smiled.

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