Phony Notice to appear 

Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, December 29.
No more Sundays after this one 
for the whole rest of the year!

Thank you Claude!

Today's International Bonehead Award goes to an idiot, who huffed compressed air, and plowed into cars parked at restaurant Details at International Bonehead Awards Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes. --- Doctor Who
LOTS of Guilt-Free Chocolate Recipes They Are All Original, Rich, Raw Delicious & Unbelievably Healthy Yet So Easy To Make! Our original chocolate recipes have all the delicious flavor, smoothness and decadence of what you love about chocolate, but with an amazing twist.

Two friends were driving to the store and on the way, they came upon an intersection with a stoplight. The light showed red, but the driver went right through the red light. The passenger screamed at the driver, "What are you doing? You're going to get us killed!" The drive said, "Don't worry, my mother always drives like this." Later on, they came to another stoplight which was red. The driver sped right through the light. Again the passenger looked at the driver and said, "I thought I told you, you're gonna get us killed! Would you please stop this nonsense!" The driver said, "All right! I get it, but I told you my mother drives like this all the time." They came to another intersection, but this time the light was green. The driver slammed on his brakes and stopped the car completely. The passenger yelled, "What are you doing now? This is the third time you almost got us killed. Why did you stop at a green light?" The driver said, "My mother might be coming the other way."
One day, a man got drunk in a bar and started a fight. The police came and took the drunk man to jail. The next day the man went before the judge. The judge asked him, "Where do you work?" The man said, "Here and there." The judge asked the man, "What do you do for a living?" The man said, "This and that." Then the judge said, "Take him away." The man said, "Wait, judge, when will I get out?" The judge laughed and said, "Sooner or later"
Click on the picture for the large version Birderozerus
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Andrew Jonathan Ecker, 23, Boynton Beach, Floriduh an idiot, who huffed compressed air, and plowed into cars parked at restaurant A man police say was driving dopey on compressed air plowed through bushes and crashed into three cars parked in a TGI Friday's parking lot Monday, according to a Boynton Beach Police arrest report. Police said Andrew Jonathan Ecker, 23, who has no fixed address, was heading north on North Congress Avenue just south of Old Boynton Road at about 11 p.m. when he veered off the road. He passed out after "huffing" a compressed air can, then drove over a sidewalk, through bushes and into the parked cars in the restaurant parking lot at 382 N. Congress Ave., according to the report. An officer at the scene said he found Ecker in the driver's seat of the still running blue 2007 BMW 328XI, which had its air bag deployed. Boynton Beach Fire Rescue gave Ecker first aid but said he refused to be taken to a hospital, insisting he was fine. First responders took him to Bethesda Memorial Hospital anyway, because they believed he possibly had a head injury. Police said Ecker refused to give a blood, breath or urine sample after being asked twice. Under the driver's seat, an officer discovered the compressed air can. A records check revealed Ecker's driver's license had been suspended after an unpaid traffic ticket, according to the report. The officer said Ecker told him he left Walmart and was on his way to the Ashley Lake Development in Boynton Beach when he started huffing the compressed air can and passed out. Ecker awoke to find police and bystanders asking him if he was okay. He faces inhaling a harmful chemical substance and driving on a suspended license charges and was booked into Palm Beach County Jail where he is held in lieu of $1,500 bail. ----------------------- I have long lost track of how many times I have thundered against those stoopid compressed air cans. They are totally useless and if there are idiots around, they will abuse them. For cleaning purposes they are totally moronic. Why would anybody blow any dirt or dust into harder to reach places? DUH! Those cans don't have just air in them. They have a low grade waste refrigerant in there as a propellant. When the pressure in the can drops, it evaporates and adds itself to the air. That refrigerat production waste product does not produce a high when huffed, not like the Nitrous Oxide in whipped cream cans. All it does is make the huffer pass out. For morons that twilight on the edge of passing out, similar to the relaxed feeling on the edge of falling asleep after a hard day's work, is the substitute for a real high, that the idiots are after. Unlike falling asleep in bed or on the couch, getting hammered with a refrigerant production waste product, causes brain damage. Considering that only real idiots huff those compressed air cans, letting those real idiots make themselves even dumber is pretty stoopid too. Here those cans are outlawed, and as far as I am concerned, they should be outlawed everywhere. If you see any of those "Compressed Air" cans, pitch a temper tantrum at whoever bought them, and trash the cans. Tech Support Pits From: Christina Re: Notice to appear Dear Webby, I keep getting these notices to appear in a court in New York, and that I am supposed to download court forms and fill them out. I remember you telling me, if anything is suspicious and I don't really and absolutely need it, to dump it. I have never been anywhere near New York, neither the town nor the state, so it seems phony. What do you recommend? Christina Dear Christina Most of us get that phony crap. Just dump the attached zip file into the trash, and then use CrapCleaner to dump the recycle bin. If you hover the mouse over that attachment in the email, the status line should show you WHERE the attachment is parked. I use Eudora, and have it set to put all attachments into the ! folder on the removable USB drive. That makes it easy to find craap like that. I sort that folder by date, and it is right on top. Some sneaky stuff comes with a forged older date, to hide way down. So I sort by name and get it that way, or by type. Zip files are at the bottom, and easy to dump. No matter what method you use, go after that attachment and nuke it. Then dump the email. Don't waste time replying. The address is probably phony anyway. Just dump it. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Remove Condensation from Car Windows When your windshield steams up on you, a clean blackboard eraser kept in the glove compartment of your car or truck can be quite handy for wiping off the moisture. The eraser is less bulky than a cloth and doesn't shed lint on the glass. By duckie-do from Cortez, CO Before entering a tunnel it is important to open a side window or crank up hot air to the windshield. Most tunnels are a bit cooler and tend to cause some fogging of your windshield. Be prepared for that to happen to other drivers and them suddenly slowing down or doing silly stuff, like searching for anything to wipe their windshield. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
In England they use 999 instead of 911. In December they usually experience a 15% increase in fake emergency calls. A woman in a nightclub phoned for an ambulance after breaking a fingernail. Another woman dialed 999 saying a mouse had swallowed her medicine. Other calls included a man who needed someone to change the television channel, a man who had a dream he was unconscious and had collapsed and a caller who wanted a can of pop out of the fridge. They were among thousands of timewasters revealed to have blocked 999 lines. The North East Ambulance Service also highlighted the growing number of revellers who call an ambulance to save queuing for taxis. They fake injury then wrongly assume ambulance staff will take them home after treatment. "One was from a woman who said her boyfriend was drunk and she needed help to get him upstairs to bed. Another was from someone who wanted us to deliver a takeaway to them."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

"Did your wife have much to say when you got home last night?" "No, but that didn't keep her from screaming for two hours."
Being a husband is like any other job . . . It helps a lot if you like the boss.

» The Dezer Collection
Wishing you
Frantic Foist!
from Dianne!

Today, December 29, in
1170 St. Thomas à Becket, the 40th archbishop of Canterbury, 
 was murdered in his own cathedral by four knights acting 
 on Henry II's orders.
1812 The USS Constitution won a battle with the British ship 
 HMS Java about 30 miles off the coast of Brazil. Before 
 Commodore William Bainbridge ordered the sinking of the 
 Java he had her wheel removed to replace the one the 
 Constitution had lost during the battle.
1813 The British burned Buffalo, NY, during the War of 1812.
1837 Canadian militiamen destroyed the Caroline, a U.S. 
 steamboat docked at Buffalo, NY.
1848 U.S. President James Polk turned on the first gas 
 light at the White House.
1860 The HMS Warrior, Britain's first seagoing iron-hulled 
 warship, was launched.
1890 The U.S. Seventh Cavalry massacred over 400 men, 
 women and children at Wounded Knee Creek, SD. This was 
 the last major conflict between Indians and U.S. troops.
1895 The Jameson Raid from Mafikeng into Transvaal, which 
 attempted to overthrow Kruger's Boer government, started.
1911 Sun Yat-sen became the first president of a 
 republican China.
1913 "The Unwelcome Throne" was released by Selig’s 
 Polyscope Company. This was a moving picture and the 
 first serial motion picture.
1934 Japan renounced the Washington Naval Treaty of 
 1922 and the London Naval Treaty of 1930.
1940 During World War II, Germany began dropping 
 incendiary bombs on London.
1952 The first transistorized hearing aid was offered 
 for sale by Sonotone Corporation.
1975 A bomb exploded in the main terminal of New York's 
 LaGuardia Airport. 11 people were killed.
1986 The Biltmore Hotel in Coral Gables, FL, reopened 
 for business after eighteen years and $47 million 
 expended on restoration.
1989 Following Hong Kong's decision to forcibly repatriate 
 some Vietnamese refugees, thousands of Vietnamese 
 'boat people' battled with riot police.
1996 The Guatemalan government and leaders of the leftist 
 Guatemalan National Revolutionary Union signed a peace 
 accord in Guatemala City, ending a civil war that had 
 lasted 36 years.
1997 Hong Kong began killing 1.25 million chickens, the 
 entire population, for fear of the spread of 'bird flu'.
1998 Khmer Rouge leaders apologized for the 1970s genocide 
 in Cambodia that claimed 1 million lives. 
2013  smiled.

[ view entry ] ( 10 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 2056 )

<<First <Back | 58 | 59 | 60 | 61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | Next> Last>>