Ancestry Programs 

Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, December 31.

How are your resolutions coming along?
Are you going to have one ready, in case somebody asks you?
if you don't, they WILL ask you!

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Thank you Claude!
Please send me your email address!

Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a fake cop in Floriduh, who got caught the second time for pulling over a real cop. Details at International Bonehead Awards A few subscribers got a wacky notice from Gmail about HTML emails being used to steal information. Don't worry. The sniveling ninnies attach that to some HTML based mails. Feel free to tell them to grow up. The DearWebby Humor Letter has been in HTML format for almost twenty years and does not harvest any private information. Maybe they want you to learn how to make filters to exclude legitimate mail from their sniveling. If YOU got that silly warning, tell them they are being a silly nuisance and to stop that nonsense. Hilarious news from the Antarctic: Gullible Warming "scientists" on the Russian ship MV Akademik Shokalskiy,trying to prove that manmade CO2 causes Gullible Warming, ahem Climate Change, are stuck in the ice. A big, huge Chinese icebreaker trying to get to them, is now ALSO stuck. A French and an Australian icebreaker are heading towards them. They hope to at least get the Chinese icebreaker loose. It is mid summer in the Antarctic, and going to cool off soon. Those "scientists", pretending to be able to predict the climate for the next 300 years, apparently failed to predict the climate a week ahead. I could have told them. Look what happened in the early 70's. Due to cycles, we got a replay. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Never believe anything until it has been officially denied. --- Claud Cockburn (1904 - 1981)
LOTS of Guilt-Free Chocolate Recipes They Are All Original, Rich, Raw Delicious & Unbelievably Healthy Yet So Easy To Make! Our original chocolate recipes have all the delicious flavor, smoothness and decadence of what you love about chocolate, but with an amazing twist.

The Math Professor. posed this problem: "A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-third is to go to his son from his first marriage, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?" A student in the back of the room answered, "A lawyer?"
An eighty-five-year-old couple, married for almost sixty years, died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly as a result of her interest in health food and exercise. When they reached the Pearly Gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and a master bath suite with a sauna and Jacuzzi. As they "oohed and aahed" the old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. "It's free," Peter replied. "This is heaven." Next they went out back to survey the championship golf course that the home backed up to. They would have golfing privileges every day, and each week the course would change to new one that represented one of the great golf courses on Earth. The old man asked, "What are the green fees?" Peter's reply: "This is heaven; you play for free." Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisines of the world laid out. "How much to eat?" asked the old man. "Don't you understand yet? This is heaven; it is free!" Peter replied with some exasperation. "Well, where are the low-fat and low-cholesterol tables?" the old woman asked timidly. Peter lectured, "That's the best part: You can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is heaven." With that, the old man threw down his hat, stomped on it, and shrieked wildly. Peter and his wife both tried to calm him down, asking him what was wrong. The old man looked at his wife and said, "This is all your fault. If it weren't for your stoopid bran muffins, we could have been here twenty years ago!"
Thanks to Lillemor for this: Click on the picture for the large version ANTARCTICA-SHIP-stuck-in-global-warming
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Johnathan Stevens, 24, in Tampa, Floriduh Fake cop jailed for pulling over real cop Reported by Tom A Manatee County man has been charged with impersonating a police officer. Police say 24-year-old Jonathan Stevens was arrested in Tampa over the weekend after flagging down a police officer. He had flashing red and blue lights on his SUV, and had a gun and a badge around his neck. "The officer was suspicious. It just didn't seem right to her," said TPD spokesperson Andrea Davis. Stevens' car was not from a government agency, and he was not a government employee. Police say he admitted to making the whole thing up, and it's not the first time. In September, the Manatee Sheriff's Office says he pulled over a driver in the parking lot of the Ellenton Outlets. He also faces charges related to that incident. Tech Support Pits From: Maggie Re: Family Tree Maker Dear Webby: do you have a family tree maker? maggie maggie Dear Maggie Three subscribers responded: From Leon Either of the following are good programs, I have used both and am pleased with them: "Family Tree Maker" "Roots Magic" They are both user friendly and easy to use. Leon ------- From Jessie Hi Dear Webby, I've used Family Tree Maker for genealogy over 15 years. It's easy to use and offers help if you have a problem. I've tried other programs, but have better luck with FTM than any others. Jessie -------- From Noella Regarding ancestry programs: My mom was very much into geneaology for many, many years and she used PAF (Personal Ancestral File). As I googled to find the website, I notice it is still available, but will no longer have "support" services. There are three alternative programs suggested on their page. The site is run by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and is FREE. According to her it is the best around as the church members have been into geneaology for many, many, many years. Noella Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Use Mop And Glo To Shine Your Old Car First of all, do not try this on any car that you care about! I had an old, old Toyota and the paint was very dull and had lost it's shine. I tried something very simple to renew the shine. I used Mop and Glo on it and, wow, what a shine. I know my neighbors thought I was crazy, but it worked and looked good. By Jackie from Orlando, FL Yes, sure it works, just make sure you thoroughly scrub it perfectly clean first. Does wonders on fake leather dash too. Don't use it to clean, just to seal cleaned surfaces and make them shine. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
A man approached his family physician and said, "Doc, I'm afraid you'll have to remove my wife's tonsils one of these days." The doctor pulled out the family's medical file and exclaimed, "Hey, I removed them six years ago! Did you ever hear of a woman having two sets of tonsils?" "No," the husband retorted, "but you've heard of a widower marrying again, haven't you?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Judi had just returned to the United States from a month-long trip to Europe. She'd been to England, France, Spain, Italy, Germany, and Switzerland. Bob met her at the airline gate, hugged her, and asked, "So, how was your trip?" "Oh, it was terrible,." she replied, "The scenery was nice, but the whole place is just full of foreigners."
Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their truck. Another hunter approached pulling his along too. "Hey, I don't want to tell you how to do something... but I can tell you that it's much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won't dig into the ground." After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it. A little while later one hunter said to the other, "You know, that guywas right. This is a lot easier!" "Yeah," the other added, "but we're getting farther away from the truck."

To Next Year
Wishing you
Frantic Foist!
from Dianne!

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Today, December 31, in
1687 The first Huguenots set sail from France for the Cape 
 of Good Hope, where they would later create the South 
 African wine industry with the vines they took with 
 them on the voyage.
1695 The window tax was imposed in Britain, which resulted 
 in many windows being bricked up.
1775 The British repulsed an attack by Continental Army 
 generals Richard Montgomery and Benedict Arnold at Quebec. 
 Montgomery was killed in the battle.
1857 Britain's Queen Victoria decided to make Ottawa the 
 capital of Canada.
1879 Thomas Edison gave his first public demonstration of 
 incandescent lighting to an audience in Menlo Park, NJ.
1891 New York's new Immigration Depot was opened at Ellis 
 Island, to provide improved facilities for the massive 
 numbers of arrivals.
1923 In London, the BBC first broadcast the chimes of Big Ben.
1929 Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians played "Auld Lang Syne" 
 as a New Year's Eve song for the first time.
1946 U.S. President Truman officially proclaimed the end of 
 hostilities in World War II.
1955 General Motors became the first U.S. corporation to 
 earn more than one billion dollars in a single year.
1960 The farthing coin, which had been in use in Great 
 Britain since the 13th century, ceased to be legal tender.
1974 Private U.S. citizens were allowed to buy and own gold 
 for the first time in more than 40 years.
1978 Taiwanese diplomats struck their colors for the final 
 time from the embassy flagpole in Washington, DC. The event 
 marked the end of diplomatic relations with the U.S.
1979 At year end oil prices were 88% higher than at the 
 start of 1979.
1997 Michael Kennedy, 39-year-old son of the late U.S. Sen. 
 Robert F. Kennedy, was killed in a skiing accident on 
 Aspen Mountain in Colorado.
1999 Russian President Boris Yeltsin resigned. Prime Minister 
 Vladimir Putin was designated acting president.
1999 Sarah Knauss died at the age of 119 years. She was the 
world's oldest person. She was born September 24, 1880. 
2013  smiled.

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