Pictures floating on a page 

Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, January 5.

Yes, I know, the voting is not working.
It never does at the begin of the year. Usually by about 
the 5th ot 6th of January the good people at the 
Ezinefinder have received enough complaints, that they
reset it for the current year. 

Since it affects ALL newsletters equally, it's not a big 
panic. I'll tell you when they got it fixed.

Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Speedy topless dope seller Details at International Bonehead Awards Too bad you were not here today. You would have almost laughed yourself a hernia. We got more snow last night and today I saw Billy with his green John Deere drive by, to do the neighbor's sidewalk. So I ran out to catch him. I usually wear shorts unless I go out. Well, I was sprinting from the deck towards 2nd Street, and in the light overcast with no shadows did not see the hip high snow drift half way to 2nd Street. When I hit that hip high dune at high speed, I went flying. Instant Angel. Yes, complete face plant. Even I had to laugh. Without my arms being able to touch ground, it was surprisingly difficult getting up. I did manage, though, waded through the dune and caught Billy. It sure would have looked funny, if anybody had watched, the way I went flying when I hit that snow drift! Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
"Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work." --- Aristotle
LOTS of Guilt-Free Chocolate Recipes They Are All Original, Rich, Raw Delicious & Unbelievably Healthy Yet So Easy To Make! Our original chocolate recipes have all the delicious flavor, smoothness and decadence of what you love about chocolate, but with an amazing twist.

We were all celebrating our friend's 80th birthday when the mail arrived. In the mail was a summons for my friend to appear for jury duty. My friend called the court clerk. "I received a jury duty summons, but I have an age exemption." The clerk said, "Ma'am, you need to fill out an exemption form to be granted the exemption." "I did that last year." "Ma'am, you have to do it every year." "Why? Are you worried I might get younger ?"
Is the bank account for a girdle business called a truss fund? Or is that stretching it a bit.
Thanks to Terry for the picture of a robin she caught at the creek yesterday. Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Claudia Salinas, 27, West Palm Beach, Floriduh Speedy topless dope seller arrested From NYDailyNews Claudia Salinas, a 27-year-old Florida woman, was jailed Monday after she was allegedly caught driving naked with cocaine and a large amount of cash in her car. According to the Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office, Salinas was stopped by a deputy while driving in the area of Okeechobee Blvd and Baywinds Drive after she was caught driving 75 mph in a 25 mph zone. While approaching the vehicle, the deputy noticed that Salinas wasn't wearing a top and the car smelled like marijuana. The deputy asked Salinas to cover herself and then called in a drug detecting canine unit. Deputies searched Salinas' car after the dog alerted to the presence of drugs. Powdered cocaine, crack cocaine and $1,000 cash was recovered from the vehicle. She was booked into jail and charged with trafficking cocaine. Although she was released from jail, she was re-arrested Monday after violating the terms of her release. Tech Support Pits From: Carina Re: Floating pictures Dear Webby, How do I fix pictures of carvings, that I want to sell, into pictures where they float on the page, like in catalogs? Thanks Carina Dear Carina Dye a sheet with the exact same color as you have for your page background, or paint some plywood with that color. Then set up the items as far in front of that background as you can, and still have background margins on all sides. Take the pictures with a remote slave flash at least an arms length to the side and above the camera, just like old time photographers did with their flash pans. If you want warmer colors, use a 250 Watt Quartz worklight, and put some duck tape over your camera flash. With some cameras you can disable the flash from the menu. Once you have the pictures on the computer, use the Magic Wand selector and select the background. You may have to use fairly high tolerance to grab all the background, but be careful not to grab any of the foreground. Set the background color in your pallette to a solid color exactly the same as your page background color. Now, when you hit DELETE, the selected picture background is deleted and replaced with the page background. Next set the transparency to the background color. You may think you got the exact page color, but different browsers and monitors will show a slight difference. So just turn the background transparent. The reason we used closely related colors for the wall and the cut is because of the fuzzy anti-aliasing used to smooth the jaggies from the cut. If you ignore that, you will wind up with amateurish halos around your pictures. For an extra touch you can add a drop shadow. Use 50% more blur than offset. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Use Dip-It to Clean Stainless Coffee Pots There is a product called Dip It - you just pour a package along with boiling water into the pot and all the YUK will float to the surface and inside is shiny steel! The Dip It powder works so much better than the cleaner they also offer - you can find it anywhere! By Villette R. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
A woman went to her dentist to have her dentures adjusted for the fifth time. She said they still didn’t fit. “Well,” said the dentist “I’ll do it again this time, but no more. There’s no reason why these shouldn’t fit your mouth easily.” “Who said anything about my mouth?” the woman answered.“They don’t fit in the glass!”
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

>Thanks to Dave for this story: Aaron came home from school one day, all banged up, bloodied, and bruised. His father asked him what on earth had happened. "Well, dad, it's like this," Aaron began. "I challenged Larry to a duel and you know how that goes...I gave him his choice of weapons." "Uh huh," said the father. "That seems fair." "I know...but I never thought he'd choose his sister!"
The newly-married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in floods of tears. "Darling, whatever is the matter?" he asked. "Sweetheart," she sobbed, "the most terrible thing has happened! I cooked my very first Beef Bourguignon for you, and I got it out of the oven to season it, and the phone rang. When I came back from answering the phone," she sobbed again. "I found that the cat had eaten it!" "Don't worry, darling," said her husband. "Don't cry. We'll get a new cat tomorrow."

» Balls

Today, January 5, in
1781 Richmond, VA, was burned by a British naval expedition 
 led by Benedict Arnold.
1885 The Long Island Railroad Company became the first to 
 offer piggy-back rail service which was the transportation 
 of farm wagons on trains.
1896 It was reported by The Austrian newspaper that Wilhelm 
 Roentgen had discovered the type of radiation that became 
 known as X-rays.
1900 In Ireland, Nationalist leader John Edward Redmond 
 called for a revolt against British rule.
1903 The general public could use the Pacific cable for 
 the very first time.
1914 Ford Motor Company announced that there would be a 
 new daily minimum wage of $5 and an eight-hour workday.
1933 Construction of the Golden Gate Bridge began.
1940 The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) got its 
 very first demonstration of FM radio.
1956 In the Peanuts comic strip, Snoopy walked on two legs 
 for the first time.
1972 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon ordered the development 
 of the space shuttle.
1998 U.S. Representative Sonny Bono was murdered.
2002 A 15 year-old student pilot, Charles Bishop, crashed a 
 small plane into a building in Tampa, FL. Bishop was about 
 to begin a flying lesson when he took off without permission 
 and without an instructor.
2013  smiled.

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