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Today is Thursday, January 9.


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to an Oregon Spousal Abuser, who was Busted While Wearing A "She's Kind Of A Slut" T-Shirt Details at International Bonehead Awards From the history part at the bottom: Today in 1902 New York State introduced a bill to outlaw flirting in public. Have FUN! DearWebby
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"I have never understood why it is "greed" to want to keep the money you've earned, but not greed to want to take somebody else's money." --- Thomas Sowell
LOTS of Guilt-Free Chocolate Recipes They Are All Original, Rich, Raw Delicious & Unbelievably Healthy Yet So Easy To Make! Our original chocolate recipes have all the delicious flavor, smoothness and decadence of what you love about chocolate, but with an amazing twist.

Two church members were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their message and slammed the door in their faces. To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, in fact, bounced back open. She tried again, really put her back into it, and slammed the door again with the same result - the door bounced back open. Convinced these rude young people were sticking their foot in the door, she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson, when one of them yelled, "Ma'am, STOP! You knocked out your cat with the first slam. If you are going to keep doing that, you are going to get some very expensive vet bills!"
Little Johnny's new baby brother was screaming up a storm, and Little Johnny asked his mom, "Where'd we get him?" His mother replied, "He came from heaven, Johnny." Johnny said, "Well I can see why they threw HIM out!"
Click on the picture for the large version Canola In China
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Michael Wolfer, 23, Hermiston, Oregon Spousal Abuser Busted While Wearing A "She's Kind Of A Slut" T-Shirt The 23-year-old Oregon man was arrested early Saturday morning for allegedly punching and choking his wife during an argument in front of their three children, according to a Hermiston Police Department summary. Wolfer was booked into the Umatilla County Jail for felony domestic violence and strangulation, a misdemeanor. He is locked up in lieu of $11,000 bond. Perhaps Wolfer’s spouse will wear an “I’m Not With Stupid” shirt at his next court appearance. Tech Support Pits From: Doug Re: AOL Flag Dear Webby, I have never heard anybody calling those chevron forwarding marks "AOL Flag", but I sure will from now on! Once upon a time, long, long ago, you mentioned a program that strips those AOL flags from mails. Do you still have the link to that program? Thanks Doug Dear Doug Just go to my toolbox at http://webby.com/tools and look for a n icon that looks like a traffic sign with an AOL flag on it. The Program is called "STRIP". and it's free, really free, without any sleazy tool bars or browser helpers or hijackers. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Rub Zippers with Candle Wax You can fix a stuck zipper by running a candle up and down on the teeth of the zipper. You should then be able to slide it the back and forth easier. By Gerique from Cleveland, Ohio Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Discovering too late that a watermelon spiked with vodka had accidentally been served to a luncheon meeting of local ministers, the restaurant's owner waited nervously for the clerics' reaction. "Quick, man," he whispered to the waiter, "what did they say?" "Nothing," replied the waiter. "They were all too busy slipping the seeds into their pockets."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

You may have heard about a new bride who was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner. Hilda was like that. So when she and her new husband husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been married a long time. He responded, "Easy! Just carry your own suitcase."
A couple with three children waited in line at San Francisco's Pier 41 to purchase tickets for a boat trip to Alcatraz, the historic prison island. Others watched with varying degrees of sympathy and irritation as the young children fidgeted, whined, and punched one another. The frazzled parents reprimanded them to no avail. Finally, they reached the ticket window. "Five tickets, please," the father said. "Two round trip, three one way."

» Snow Flukes

Today, January 9, in
1793 Jean-Pierre Blanchard made the first successful balloon 
 flight in the U.S.
1799 British Prime Minister William Pitt the Younger 
 introduced income tax, at two shillings (10p) in the pound, 
 to raise funds for the Napoleonic Wars.
1861 The state of Mississippi seceded from the United States.
1894 The New England Telephone and Telegraph Company put the 
 first battery-operated switchboard into operation in 
 Lexington, MA.
1902 New York State introduced a bill to outlaw flirting 
in public.
1905 In Russia, the civil disturbances known as the Revolution 
 of 1905 forced Czar Nicholas II to grant some civil rights.
1929 The Seeing Eye was incorporated in Nashville, TN. The 
 company's purpose was to train dogs to guide the blind.
1936 The United States Army adopted the semi-automatic rifle.
1969 The supersonic aeroplane Concorde made its first trial 
 flight, at Bristol.
1972 The ocean liner Queen Elizabeth was destroyed by fire 
 in Hong Kong harbor.
1972 British miners went on strike for the first time since 1926.
1986 Kodak got out of the instant camera business after 10 
 years due to a loss in a court battle that claimed that 
 Kodak copied Polaroid patents.
1995 Russian cosmonaut Valeri Poliakov, 51, completed his 
 366th day in outer space aboard the Mir space station, 
 breaking the record for the longest continuous time 
 spent in outer space.
2002 The U.S. Justice Department announced that it was 
 pursuing a criminal investigation of Enron Corp. The 
 company had filed for bankruptcy on December 2, 2001.
2003 Archaeologists announced that they had found five 
 more chambers in the tomb of Qin Shihuang, China's first 
 emperor. The rooms were believed to cover about 750,000 
 square feet. 
2014  smiled.


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