Good results with Crap Cleaner 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, January 12.
Voting works again!
Please vote!


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to Meth dealers dining at classy restaurant jailed after leaving waitress a methamphetamine tip Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1998 Linda Tripp provided Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr's office with taped conversations between herself and former White House intern Monica Lewinsky. Today we had a nice and rambunctious Chinook. My wind chimes were gonging like crazy, and one of them tore loose and took off. It sure was funny watching plastic lawn chairs scooting along on the crusty snow. For a while there were dry leaves getting blown along by the storm. They were definitely not from Alberta, where all leaves are covered by a foot or more of snow. They must have come across the Rockies from BC. When I saw a downed wheelie-bin sailing along on the street I went to check on mine, It was OK, down, but firmly wedged between the back steps and the garage. It sure was funny, though, to see a wheelie bin sailing along at slightly over the speed limit. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week. --- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995) There is nothing more dreadful than imagination without taste. --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)
360 degree background check: The best and most complete Background check you can get. Professional results!

>From Roland Do you have one in your files about this mother visiting her son and was concerned about them sleeping together so she hid the soup spoon under the girl friends pillow. Something like that. Yes, I found it. Here it is: HAVING MOM OVER FOR DINNER You don't even have to be a mother to enjoy this one. Bryan invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Bryan's mother couldn't help but keep noticing how beautiful Bryan's roommate, Jessica, was. Bryan's mother had long been suspicious of a relationship between Bryan and Jessica, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two react, Mother started to wonder if there was more between Bryan and Jessica than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Bryan volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Jessica and I are just roommates." About a week later, Jessica came to Bryan saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Bryan said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote: Dear Mother: I'm not saying that you "did" take the gravy ladle from the house, I'm not saying that you "did not" take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Love, Bryan Several days later, Bryan received an email from his mother that read: Dear Son: I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Jessica, and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with Jessica. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom
Andy was reading the paper while his son was doing homework on the opposite side of the table. "Dad", his son asked, "how many people work in the Government?" Without looking up, Andy responded: "Oh, about a quarter of them."
Thanks to Terry for sending this picture, that she took in October: Click on the picture for the large versi"> Click on the picture for the large version Outdoor exercise machines in Black Diamond, AB I think it was around -25 that day, Guess who that is!
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Ryan Bensen, 40, and Erica Manley, 37, in Seaside, Oregon Meth dealers Dining At Classy Restaurant Jailed After Leaving Waitress A Methamphetamine Tip Ryan Bensen, 40, and Erica Manley, 37, were jailed Thursday night after they allegedly left crystal meth as a tip while dining out. According to Seaside Police, Bensen and Manley were having dinner and drinks at the Twisted Fish Steakhouse Thursday night when stupidity became the guest of honor. When it came time to settle the bill, the couple used a gift card to pay the balance due. Instead of offering the waitress a cash tip, the couple handed her an envelope that had a question mark scribbled on the front. Inside the envelope, the waitress found an undisclosed amount of crystal meth. The waitress then calmly walked away from the table and contacted police. Investigators say Bensen and Manley were still at the restaurant when officers arrived at the scene. Upon search of Manley's purse, officers recovered a half-kilo of meth. Police later searched the couple's car and the motel room and recovered a large cache of crystal meth. Officers also found materials inside the motel room used for manufacturing methamphetamine. Bensen was booked into jail and charged with manufacturing methamphetamine. Manley was booked into jail and charged with possessing, delivering and manufacturing meth. Tech Support Pits From: Dan Re: Crap Cleaner Dear Webby, Thank You for the infomation on crap cleaner. I used it on windows xp where it worked very well But, it was remarkable what it did on my laptop that uses win7 It is like a new computer Thank you. Dan Dear Dan You are most welcome! Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Wooden Spoon To Prevent Boil Over When boiling potatoes, noodles, etc on top of stove, place a wooden spoon over top of pan to keep it from boiling over and having to clean up a mess. By mjbretz It doesn't have to be a wooden spoon. A stick works fine when cooking on a camp fire. Metal works too. With anything, that requires a rolling boil or when cooking at high altitude, that trick is indispensible! Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
An airliner is coming into land at an airport obscured by fog. Visibility is practically nil, the ILS system is on the blink, so the pilot has to land on wits alone. "Flaps, check," he says to the co-pilot, "Landing Gear, check. Altitude, check. Right, we're going in. Hold on." The plane lands and comes to a screeching, grinding halt; just short of the edge of the runway. "Holy Cow!" exclaims the pilot, "This must be the shortest runway I've ever landed on!" The co-pilot looks left and right and says "Yeah, and about the widest, too..." ------------------------- That reminds me of a landing in Burwash in the Yukon in 71. Burwash is at the end of Kluane Lake, beside Kluane National Park. Very scenic. Also the worlds windiest airport. There was a short dirt taxi-way and parking area between the gravel runway and the occasionally staffed airport building. We used an old Piper Cub to get from there to Tincup Lake, where another guy and me were pretending to be carpenters and built a big fishing lodge without anybody ever catching on that we were learning carpentry as we went. We stayed in tents at Tincup Lake and once a week flew out to Burwash for hot showers and a meal that we did not have to poach, to pick up nails and other supplies, and to flirt at the waitresses. Top speed of the old souped up Cub was about 85 miles per hour when the tank was near empty. This one day the wind was 80, gusting to 90. Just before Burwash our route was near the Alaska Highway. Cars on the highway below sure looked fast whenever we were drifting backwards! When we finally got to the airport, we realized that there was just no way we would be able to taxi from the runway across the wind over to the parking area without getting flipped sideways. Gerry, who was just as crazy as me, hovered over the taxi way like a tethered kite and slowly forced the plane down to the tiedowns. The tiedowns were 55 gallon drums filled with cast iron engine blocks and old batteries. When we were low enough, I climbed out onto the wing to wheel support strut, and while hanging on with one hand and one leg, fished for the rope on the first barrel. After a few tries I got hold of it and cinched down the left wing. With the engine still running at full blast, I clambered over to the other side, being careful not to touch the ground and taking any weight off the little plane, and finally tied down that side, just before we ran out fuel. After climbing out, Gerry tied the stick to the seat, -yes, the front had a real seat, not just a cooler-, so that the wind forced the tail down. Then we carried a couple of 10 gallon drums filled with concrete and chains over to the tail to tie it down. It's amazing how fast you can run while carrying those drums, when you are in a hurry and you have an 80 mile per hour wind at your back! The waitresses in Burwash didn't want us to fly back that night and managed to persuade us to spend the night. By morning the wind had slowed down considerably, but we didn't need the real runway. The width of the taxi strip was plenty.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

An airliner is coming into land at an airport obscured by fog. Visibility is practically nil, the ILS system is on the blink, so the pilot has to land on wits alone. "Flaps, check," he says to the co-pilot, "Landing Gear, check. Altitude, check. Right, we're going in. Hold on." The plane lands and comes to a screeching, grinding halt; just short of the edge of the runway. "Holy Cow!" exclaims the pilot, "This must be the shortest runway I've ever landed on!" The co-pilot looks left and right and says "Yeah, and about the widest, too..." ------------------------- That reminds me of a landing in Burwash in the Yukon in 71. Burwash is at the end of Kluane Lake, beside Kluane National Park. Very scenic. Also the worlds windiest airport. There was a short dirt taxi-way and parking area between the gravel runway and the occasionally staffed airport building. We used an old Piper Cub to get from there to Tincup Lake, where another guy and me were pretending to be carpenters and built a big fishing lodge without anybody ever catching on that we were learning carpentry as we went. We stayed in tents at Tincup Lake and once a week flew out to Burwash for hot showers and a meal that we did not have to poach, to pick up nails and other supplies, and to flirt at the waitresses. Top speed of the old souped up Cub was about 85 miles per hour when the tank was near empty. This one day the wind was 80, gusting to 90. Just before Burwash our route was near the Alaska Highway. Cars on the highway below sure looked fast whenever we were drifting backwards! When we finally got to the airport, we realized that there was just no way we would be able to taxi from the runway across the wind over to the parking area without getting flipped sideways. Gerry, who was just as crazy as me, hovered over the taxi way like a tethered kite and slowly forced the plane down to the tiedowns. The tiedowns were 55 gallon drums filled with cast iron engine blocks and old batteries. When we were low enough, I climbed out onto the wing to wheel support strut, and while hanging on with one hand and one leg, fished for the rope on the first barrel. After a few tries I got hold of it and cinched down the left wing. With the engine still running at full blast, I clambered over to the other side, being careful not to touch the ground and taking any weight off the little plane, and finally tied down that side, just before we ran out fuel. After climbing out, Gerry tied the stick to the seat, -yes, the front had a real seat, not just a cooler-, so that the wind forced the tail down. Then we carried a couple of 10 gallon drums filled with concrete and chains over to the tail to tie it down. It's amazing how fast you can run while carrying those drums, when you are in a hurry and you have an 80 mile per hour wind at your back! The waitresses in Burwash didn't want us to fly back that night and managed to persuade us to spend the night. By morning the wind had slowed down considerably, but we didn't need the real runway. The width of the taxi strip was plenty.
A group of friends who prided themselves on their intelligence set out to have a contest of wits. Each person in turn asked a question, and anyone who volunteered an answer that was wrong dropped out. If no one could answer,the questioner himself had to answer, and if he was wrong,he dropped out. Each dropout had to put $5 into the pot. Eventually the matter boiled down to Thompson and Brown, and the erudition of each one boiled up so that both were held even for half an hour. Finally Thompson said, "How does a gopher dig a hole without leaving a mound of sand at the lip?" Brown thought about that and said, "I can't answer that. However, since it's your question, you had better answer it." Thompson said coolly, as he reached for the accumulated pile of bills. "Easy. The gopher starts at the bottom of the hole and that's where he leaves the sand." "Hold on," said Brown heatedly, grasping Thompson's wrist to prevent him from taking the pot. "How does the gopher get to the bottom of the hole in the first place?" "That's YOUR question," said Thompson as he took the money.

Frozen Bubles

Today, January 11, in
49 BC Julius Caesar crossed the Rubicon River signaling a 
 war between Rome and Gaul.
1519 Holy Roman Emperor Maximilian I died.
1866 The Royal Aeronautical Society was founded in London.
1875 Kwang-su was made emperor of China.
1882 Thomas Edison's central station on Holborn Viaduct 
 in London began operation.
1896 At Davidson College, several students took x-ray 
 photographs. They created the first X-ray photographs 
 to be made in America.
1908 A wireless message was sent long-distance for the first 
 time from the Eiffel Tower in Paris.
1915 The U.S. House of Representatives rejected a proposal 
 to give women the right to vote.
1915 The U.S. Congress established the Rocky Mountain National Park.
1932 Hattie W. Caraway became the first woman elected to the 
 U.S. Senate.
1938 Austria recognized the Franco government in Spain.
1940 Soviet bombers raided cities in Finland.
1943 The Office of Price Administration announced that standard 
 Frankfurters/hot dogs/Wieners would be replaced by 
 'Victory Sausages.'
1945 During World War II, Soviet forces began a huge offensive 
 against the Germans in Eastern Europe.
1948 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that states could not discriminate 
 against law-school applicants because of race.
1964 Leftist rebels in Zanzibar began their successful revolt 
 against the government and a republic was proclaimed.
1966 U.S. President Johnson said in his State of the Union 
 address that the United States should stay in South Vietnam 
 until Communist aggression there was ended.
1970 The breakaway state of Biafra capitulated and the 
 Nigerian civil war came to an end.
1971 "All In the Family" debuted on CBS-TV.
1991 The U.S. Congress passed a resolution authorizing 
 President Bush to use military power to force Iraq out 
 of Kuwait.
1998 Tyson Foods Inc. pled guilty to giving $12,000 to 
 former Agriculture Secretary Mike Espy. Tyson was fined 
 $6 million.
1998 19 European nations agreed to prohibit human cloning.
1998 Linda Tripp provided Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr's 
 office with taped conversations between herself and former 
 White House intern Monica Lewinsky.
2000 The U.S. Supreme Court, in a 5-4 ruling, gave police 
 broad authority to stop and question people who run at 
 the sight of an officer.
2005 NASA launched "Deep Impact". The spacecraft was planned 
 to impact on Comet Tempel 1 after a six-month, 268 million
 -mile journey.
2006 The U.S. Mint began shipping new 5-cent coins to the 12 
 regional Federal Reserve Banks. The coin has an image of 
 Thomas Jefferson taken from a 1800 Rembrandt Peale portrait 
 in which the president is looking forward. Since 1909, when 
 presidents were first depicted on circulating coins, all 
 presidents had been shown in profile.
2014  smiled.


[ view entry ] ( 12 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 278 )

<<First <Back | 58 | 59 | 60 | 61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | Next> Last>>