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Today is Monday, January 13.
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Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Kentucky jail breaker, who got so cold, that he asked to be let inside again. Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1942 Henry Ford patented the plastic automobile, which allowed for a 30% decrease in car weight. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Only exceptionally rational men can afford to be absurd. --- Allan Goldfein The one function TV news performs very well is that when there is no news we give it to you with the same emphasis as if there were. --- David Brinkley (1920 - 2003)
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Reverend Smith, a respected church leader, arrived in a large city to deliver a series of speeches. At a banquet the first evening, he noticed some reporters in the audience. Because he wanted to use some of the stories he told that night in his speeches the next day, he asked the reporters to omit them from their articles. One article that came out the next day, written by a cub reporter, concluded with this line: "Reverend Smith also told a number of stories that cannot be printed."
The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased, what an honest man he was, and what a loving husband and kind father he was. Finally, the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her children, "Go up there and take a look in the coffin and see if we're at the right funeral."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Robert Vick, 42, Lexington, Kentucky Kentucky jail breaker, who got so cold, that he asked to be let inside again. Robert Vick, a 42-year-old inmate who escaped from Blackburn Correctional Complex in Lexington, turned himself back in less than 48 hours later when he decided jail was better than freezing to death. According to police, Vick escaped from a minimum security facility in Lexington Sunday, however, the plan quickly backfired when he encountered an unexpected dose of cold weather. Local wind chill temperatures were 20 degrees below zero Monday in Lexington, according to weather reports. Vick would have been dressed in prison issued khaki pants, a hirt and a jacket, according to Department of Correction spokesperson, Lisa Lamb. As temperatures dropped between Sunday and Tuesday morning, Vick reportedly walked into a motel and asked the clerk to call police. He reportedly told the clerk that he wanted to turn himself in because it was too cold outside. Arriving officers called in paramedics to check Vick out before he was returned to Blackburn, said Lexington police spokesperson Sherelle Roberts "This was definitely of his own volition," said Roberts. " It's cold out there, too cold to run around. I can understand why the suspect would turn himself in. Vick was serving a six-year sentence for burglary and criminal possession of a forged instrument when he escaped. Tech Support Pits From: Joy Re: Set file types Dear Webby, Sometimes I can't open picture attachments in email. The message I get is,"This file does not have a program associated with it for performing this action. Create an association in the Folders Options Control Panel. I don't really know what to do after opening the Folder Options folder. Can you help me? Thanks, Joy Dear Joy Right-Click on START select EXPLORE Click on TOOLS FOLDER OPTIONS FILE TYPES Scroll down to the file type that you need a program for, highlight it click on advanced, and select a suitable program for it. For GIF, JPG, PNG, BMP select PaintShop Pro or whatever you use for graphics. For PDF use Foxit or Adobe Acrobat, for PPT use Microsoft PowerPoint viewer. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Strain Sugar from Cereal When you get to the end of the cereal box or bag, you'll see sugar or tiny particles that you don't want to eat. Take a strainer and dump the cereal into the strainer and shake around. The small parts and sugar will fall into the sink or garbage can. By lnygaard Poking some small holes into the bottom of the bag or box works quite well too. That way, if you ar not as far down the box as you thought, you don't have to try getting it back in there. Even easier is buying un-sugared cereal and adding whatever sweetener you are in the mood for in the amounts you want right on the plate, for example dark Demarara sugar. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Isaac guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas. His friend Morris said, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty 4-Wheel drive vehicles." "Yes, that she did," he replied. "But where in the world was I gonna find a fake Jeep?"
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No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A young man visiting a dude ranch wanted to be "Macho", and went out walking with one of the hired hands. Walking through the barnyard, the visitor tried starting a conversation: "Say, look at that big bunch of buffalos." The hired hand replied, "Not 'bunch' but 'herd'." "Heard what?" "Herd of buffalos." "Sure, I've heard of buffalos. There's a big bunch of 'em right over there." "Yep. You can go ride one of them for the afternoon."
The Easterner had always dreamed of owning his own cattle ranch, and finally made enough money to buy his dream spread in Wyoming. "So, what did you name the ranch?" asked his best friend when he flew out to visit "We had a heck of a time," admitted the new cowboy."Couldn't agree on anything. We finally settled on the Double R Lazy L Triple Horseshoe Bar-7 Lucky Diamond Ranch." "Wow!" his friend was impressed. "So where are all the cows?" "When they saw that branding iron, they all ran away."

Critter Chatter

Today, January 13, in
1128 Pope Honorius II granted a papal sanction to the military 
 order known as the Knights Templar. He declared it to be an 
 army of God.
1854 Anthony Faas of Philadelphia, PA, patented the accordion.
1898 Emile Zola's "J'accuse" was published in Paris.
1900 In Austria-Hungary, Emperor Franz Joseph decreed that 
 German would be the language of the imperial army to combat 
 Czech nationalism.
1906 Hugh Gernsback, of the Electro Importing Company, 
 advertised radio receivers for sale for the price of just 
 $7.50 in "Scientific American" magazine.
1928 Ernst F. W. Alexanderson gave the first public 
 demonstration of television.
1942 Henry Ford patented the plastic automobile, which 
 allowed for a 30% decrease in car weight.
1982 An Air Florida 737 crashed into the capital's 14th 
 Street Bridge after takeoff and fell into the Potomac River. 
 78 people were killed.
1984 Wayne Gretzky extended his NHL consecutive scoring 
 streak to 45 games.
1992 Japan apologized for forcing tens of thousands of Korean 
 women to serve as sex slaves for Japanese soldiers during WQII.
1998 ABC and ESPN negotiated to keep "Monday Night Football" 
 for $1.15 billion a season.
1998 One of the 110 missing episodes of the British TV show 
 "Doctor Who" was found in New Zealand.
2002 Japan and Singapore signed a free trade pact
2002 U.S. President George W. Bush fainted after choking 
 on a pretzel.
2009 Ethiopian military forces began pulling out of Somalia, 
 where they had tried to maintain order for nearly two years. 
2014  smiled.


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