How to forward just one paragraph? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, January 15.
Next Wednesday I have to go for more injections into my 
eyeballs. Today I have to go for "consultation" about
cataract surgery. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to Missouri Woman who was Jailed After Showing Up To Court Drunk With Baby In Tow Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 2005 A probe, from the Cassini-Huygens mission, sent back pictures during and after landing on Saturn's moon Titan. The mission was launched on October 15, 1997. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
It is possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated. --- Alec Bourne What we see depends mainly on what we look for. --- John Lubbock
360 degree background check: The best and most complete Background check you can get. Professional results!

An elderly fellow was taken to the hospital for an examination of his circulatory system. When he got home, his wife asked what had happened. He said, "They worked this gadget into my artery and up into my heart, and then they sucked out thirty years of chocolate cake."
An enormously wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a young woman in her twenties and is contemplating a proposal. "Do you think she'd marry me if I tell her I'm 45?" he asked a friend. "Your chances are better," said the friend, "if you tell her you're 90 and have a heart problem."
Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture: Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Terisha Wallace, 19, Edwardsville, Missouri Jailed After Showing Up To Court Drunk With Baby In Tow Terisha Wallace, a 19-year-old Missouri woman, was jailed Friday after she allegedly showed up to court intoxicated and with her baby in tow. And that's not all she apparently got wrong. According to the Madison County Sheriff's Office, Wallace was taken into custody after she brought her baby to the Madison County Criminal Justice Center while under the influence of alcohol. Although the charge is a misdemeanor, Wallace has developed a history of alcohol related charges and two felony arrests. Investigators say Wallace was placed under arrest as soon as she arrived at the courthouse after they received a tip from her mother alleging that she had been drinking the night before and would likely still be intoxicated. A breath test later confirmed that she had consumed alcohol. To make matters more ironic, Wallace wasn't scheduled to show up for her court appearance until Monday. Wallace was reportedly ordered into court for a probation status hearing after she was accused last June of assaulting a 13-year-old boy. In that case, Wallace and a 16-year-old male reportedly punched and kicked the victim in the head. In April of 2012 Wallace reportedly pleaded guilty to a charge of burglary and was placed on two years of probation. She was also convicted in 2009 of unlawful consumption of alcohol by a minor. Wallace's mother, Cheri, has filed a motion asking the court for an order of protection for herself and the baby. Tech Support Pits From: Jim Re: How do I forward just one joke? Dear Webby, Greeting from Northern Minnesota, enjoy your humor letter every day, keep up the great work. question is there any way I can take a joke from your humor letter and forward it to others without sending the whole humor letter ? I'm able to do it with the pictures just right click and save picture but it doesn't work for print. thanks for any help, Jim Two Harbors,Mn Dear Jim Highlight the joke Click on the Forward icon and type in the address of the recipient. Another method is to highlight the joke hit CTRL C to copy jump to a letter to that recipient place the cursor where you want that joke hit CTRL V to paste it. That's all there is to it. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

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I was shocked, confused, bewildered as I entered Heaven's door, Not by the beauty of it all, by the lights or its decor. But it was the folks in Heaven who made me sputter and gasp-- the thieves, the liars, the sinners, the alcoholics, the trash. There stood the kid from seventh grade who swiped my lunch money twice. Next to him was my old neighbor who never said anything nice. Herb, who I always thought was rotting away in hell, was sitting pretty on cloud nine, looking incredibly well. I nudged the angel, "What's the deal? I would love to hear your take. How'd all these sinners get up here? God must've made a mistake. And why's everyone so quiet, so somber? Give me a clue." "Hush, child," said he. "They're all in shock. No one thought they'd see you."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

At the end of the college year, a star football player celebrated the relaxation of team curfew by attending a late night campus party. Soon after arriving, he became captivated by a beautiful young thing and eased into a conversation with her by asking if she met many dates at parties. "Oh, I have a 3.9, so I'm much more attracted to the strong academic types than to dumb party animals," she said. "What's your G.P.A.?" Grinning from ear to ear, the jock boasted, "I get about 27 in the city and 38 on the highway.
A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, "No, ma'am, we haven't had any for some weeks now, and it doesn't look as if we'll be getting any soon." Alarmed by what was being said, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, "That isn't true, ma'am. Of course, we'll have some soon. In fact, I have placed an order for it just yesterday." Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled, "Never, never, never, never say we don't have something. If we don't have it, say we ordered it and it's on its way. Now, what was it she asked about?" And the clerk said, "Rapes down in the parkade."

Pucker Power

Today, January 14, in
1559 England's Queen Elizabeth I (Elizabeth Tudor) was crowned 
in Westminster Abbey.
1624 Many riots occurred in Mexico when it was announced that 
all churches were to be closed.
1863 "The Boston Morning Journal" became the first paper in 
 the U.S. to be published on wood pulp paper.
1870 A cartoon by Thomas Nast titled "A Live Jackass Kicking 
 a Dead Lion" appeared in "Harper's Weekly." The cartoon 
 used the donkey to symbolize the Democratic Party for the 
 first time.
1892 "Triangle" magazine in Springfield, MA, published the 
 rules for a brand new game. The original rules involved 
 attaching peach baskets to a suspended board. It is now 
 known as basketball.
1913 The first telephone line between Berlin and New York 
 was inaugurated.
1943 The Pentagon was dedicated as the world's largest office 
 building just outside Washington, DC, in Arlington, VA. 
 The structure covers 34 acres of land and has 17 miles of 
 corridors. It has since been extended.
1955 The first solar-heated, radiation-cooled house was built 
 by Raymond Bliss in Tucson, AZ.
1973 U.S. President Nixon announced the suspension of all 
 U.S. offensive action in North Vietnam. 
1974 "Happy Days" premiered on ABC-TV.
2003 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the U.S. Congress 
had permission to repeatedly extend copyright protection.
2014  smiled.


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