Forwarding just parts of an email 

Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, January 16.

The "consultation" about cataract surgery was mostly 
sitting around various waiting rooms, occasionally 
interrupted by brusque recent imports mumbling impatient
instructions and briefly doing some tests. They seemed 
to be paid by the number of patients they can hustle 
through per day. 

It took about three hours and included probably almost 
ten minutes of actual staff time.
In the meantime Barb, who was driving me there and back,
was fuming about the lack of nearby parking and the cost
per minute of parking. Eventually i was told that there 
was a six month waiting list, and that my turn would come
in July.

We did finally get out of there, me with two sets of not
very cool shades on, and headed for Dennys, Barb's treat 
for the driving. Barb is a friend and neighbor and the 
owner of Copper, the dog I walk with in the evening.

We got a fairly good medical system, about as good as the 
US is hoping to get in twenty years, after all the bugs 
have been fixed, but even with the bugs fixed, a Government
system with no competition is much more annoying than
a Free Enterprise system with competition.

The drops they put into my eyes for the convenience of 
their staff are slowly wearing off, but vision is nowhere
near normal. Expect the odd typo and irregularity!

Have FUN!

Today's International Bonehead Award goes to an Alabama couple Jailed After Hanging Dog By Neck, Posting Photos On Facebook Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1985 "Playboy" magazine announced its 30-year tradition of stapling centerfold models in the bellybutton and elsewhere would come to an immediate end. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind. --- Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC) The unpaid ones do too!
360 degree background check: The best and most complete Background check you can get. Professional results!

>from Lisa: Fresh out of high school, I found a job cleaning the elegant home of an older couple. Among other duties, I had to dust their many imported carvings and petrified collectibles as well as pick up after their pets. One day I was astonished to find two ivory fossils lying on the floor beside the bookcase. I quickly picked them up and put them back on the shelf. The next week the same thing happened. That afternoon my employer came into the parlor, her faithful canine behind her. Looking around, she eyed the bookcase. "Tricky," she asked the dog, "how in the world do you keep getting your bones up there?"
A health-food restaurant in Cambridge Mass. had a billboard proclaiming, "Eat here and live a long life!" The barbecue pit next door posted this response, "Eat here and die happy!"
Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture: Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Caroline Dunnam, 26 and Andrew Parrish, 23, in Valley Grande, AL an Alabama couple Jailed After Hanging Dog By Neck, Posting Photos On Facebook reported by the Weekly Vice Alabama couple Caroline Dunnam, 26, and Andrew Parrish, 23, have been jailed after they allegedly hung their dog by the neck, snapped a photo of the assault and posted it to Facebook. According to police, an investigation was launched after Dunnam and Parrish tied a rope to their dog's neck and hung the animal from a ceiling tile in what appeared to be their living room. After snapping a photograph of the hanging dog, the couple posted the images to Dunnam's Facebook page. When several people complained about the photographs, Dunnam (or someone using her account) defended the photographs. SIC "If u have a problem with my personal (expletive) FB page, delete me and go on somewhere I don't give a (expletive) what anybody on here thinks end of story," Dunnam allegedly responded. Investigators began looking into the matter after someone saw the post and called police. Although the incident took place in late November, the couple eventually turned themselves in on January 10. The dog was placed into the custody of Selma Animal Hospital. Dunnam and Parish were booked into the Dallas County Jail and charged with animal cruelty. They were released after posting $500 bond each. Tech Support Pits From: Jim Re: How do I forward just one joke? Dear Webby, Greeting from Northern Minnesota, enjoy your humor letter every day, keep up the great work. question is there any way I can take a joke from your humor letter and forward it to others without sending the whole humor letter ? I'm able to do it with the pictures just right click and save picture but it doesn't work for print. thanks for any help, Jim Two Harbors,Mn Dear Jim Highlight the joke Click on the Forward icon and type in the address of the recipient. Another method is to highlight the joke hit CTRL C to copy jump to a letter to that recipient place the cursor where you want that joke hit CTRL V to paste it. That's all there is to it. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Sturdy Kitty Litter Scoop If you have cats, go to a restaurant supply store and buy a metal mess scoop that is used to remove items from the deep fryer. Use this as your kitty litter scoop. It will never break, bend, or fail you in any way. By Brenda Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
In the days when you couldn't count on a public facility to have indoor plumbing, an English woman was planning a trip to Germany. She was registered to stay in a small guest house owned by the local schoolmaster. She was concerned as to whether the guest house contained a WC. In England, a bathroom is commonly called a WC which stands for water closet. She wrote the schoolmaster inquiring into the location of the nearest WC. The school master, not fluent in English, asked the local priest if he knew the meaning of WC. Together they pondered possible meanings of the letters and concluded that the lady wanted to know if there was a "Wayside Chapel" near the house . . . a bathroom never entered their minds. So the schoolmaster wrote the following reply: Dear Madam, I ta! ke great pleasure in informing you that the WC is located 9 miles from the house. It is located in the middle of a grove of pine trees, surrounded by lovely grounds. It is capable of holding 229 people and is open on Sundays and Thursdays. As there are many people expected in the summer months, I suggest you arrive early. There is, however, plenty of standing room. This is an unfortunate situation especially if you are in the habit of going regularly. It may be of some interest to you that my daughter was married in the WC as it was there that! she met her husband. It was a wonderful event. There were 10 people in every seat. It was wonderful to see the expressions on their faces. My wife, sadly, has been ill and unable to go recently. It has been almost a year since she went last, which pains her greatly. You will be pleased to know that many people bring their lunch and make a day of it. Others prefer to wait till the last minute and arrive just in time! I would recommend your ladyship plan to go on a Thursday as there is an organ accomp! animent. The acoustics are excellent and even the most delicate sounds can be heard everywhere. The newest addition is a bell which rings every time a person enters. We are holding a bazaar to provide plush seats for all since many feel it is long needed. I look forward to escorting you there myself and seating you in a place where you can be seen by all. With deepest regards, The Schoolmaster
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

How can you easily determine how much dirt there is in an oblong hole three feet deep at one end and two feet deep at the other end, and four feet wide at one end and two feet wide at the other end? *
Thanks to Tim for this one: My wife and I went to a "Dude Ranch" while in Texas. The cowboy preparing the horses asked if she wanted a Western or English saddle, and she asked what the difference was. He told her one had a horn and other one didn't, she replied, "The one without the horn is fine. I don't expect we'll run into too much traffic out here." --------------- * There is no dirt in a hole

Puppy Power

Today, January 14, in
1547 Ivan the Terrible was crowned Czar of Russia.
1572 The Duke of Norfolk was tried for treason for complicity 
 in the Ridolfi plot to restore Catholicism in England. He 
 was executed on June 2.
1809 The British defeated the French at the Battle of 
 Corunna, in the Peninsular War.
1866 Everett Barney patented the metal screw clamp skate.
1900 The U.S. Senate consented to the Anglo-German treaty 
 of 1899, by which the U.K. renounced rights to the 
 Samoan islands.
1919 The 18th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, which 
 prohibited the sale or transportation of alcoholic beverages, 
 was ratified. It was later repealed by the 21st Amendment.
1920 Prohibition went into effect in the U.S.
1920 The motion picture "The Kid" opened.
1925 Leon Trotsky was dismissed as Chairman of the 
 Revolutionary Council of the USSR.
1944 General Dwight D. Eisenhower took command of the 
 Allied invasion force in London.
1970 Colonel Muammar el-Quaddafi became virtual president 
 of Libya.
1970 Buckminster Fuller, the designer of the geodesic dome, 
 was awarded the Gold Medal of the American Institute of 
1979 The Shah of Iran and his family fled Iran for Egypt.
1982 Britain and the Vatican resumed full diplomatic 
 relations after a break of over 400 years.
1985 "Playboy" magazine announced its 30-year tradition 
 of stapling centerfold models in the bellybutton and 
 elsewhere would come to an immediate end.
1998 Researchers announce that an altered gene helped 
 to defend against HIV.
1991 The White House announced the start of Operation 
 Desert Storm. The operation was designed to drive 
 Iraqi forces out of Kuwait.
1998 It was announced that Texas would receive $15.3 
 billion in a tobacco industry settlement. The payouts 
 were planned to take place over 25 years.
2002 The U.N. Security Council unanimously adopted sanctions 
 against Osama bin Laden, his terror network and the remnants 
 of the Taliban. The sanctions required that all nations 
 impose arms embargoes and freeze their finances.
2009 The iTunes Music Store reached 500 million applications downloaded. 
2014  smiled.

[ view entry ] ( 9 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 234 )

<<First <Back | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 | 61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | Next> Last>>