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Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, January 18.

Today's International Bonehead Award goes to Naked Woman Wearing Angel Wings jailed in Arkansas Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 2002 The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) announced the approval of a saliva-based ovulation test. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Most people have seen worse things in private than they pretend to be shocked at in public. --- Edgar Watson Howe (1853 - 1937) We are none of us infallible--not even the youngest of us. --- W. H. Thompson The only way to avoid being miserable is not to have enough leisure to wonder whether you are happy or not." --- George Bernard Shaw
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A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?" "Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago." "Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?" "Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago." Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting a lot better at it, isn't he?"
Sometimes... when you cry, no one sees your tears. Sometimes... when you are in pain, no one sees your hurt. Sometimes... when you are worried, no one sees your stress. Sometimes... when you are happy, no one sees your smile. But fart just ONE TIME...!
Thanks to Anastassia for sending this picture: Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Christine Lawrence, 47, Mountain Home, Arkansas Naked Woman Wearing Angel Wings jailed in Arkansas reported by the Smoking Gun JANUARY 15--A naked woman wearing a pair of angel wings was arrested early yesterday after police spotted her walking on an Arkansas street. Christine Lawrence, 47, was busted for indecent exposure after a pair of Mountain Home Police Department officers responded to a 3:20 AM call about a female walking down the middle of the road with nothing on besides angel wings, according to a police report. When one patrolman sought to speak with Lawrence, she fled into her nearby Circle Drive residence. As Lawrence was subsequently being arrested, she struggled with police, leading to an additional charge of resisting arrest. The police report does not indicate why Lawrence was promenading in her birthday suit, though yesterday happened to be her birthday. Seen in the above mug shot, Lawrence was booked into the Baxter County jail on the two misdemeanor charges. She remains locked up in lieu of $790 bond, and is scheduled for a February 4 court appearance. Dressed up. It is not a violent or nasty crime, but she should have known that in Arkansas they like their angels in long, white dresses! Tech Support Pits From: Cora Re: How do I save pictures from the Humor Letter Dear Webby, How do I save pictures from the Humor Letter, so that I can use them for other purposes? Thanks Cora Dear Cora Click through the picture to the full size version. That will show in your browser. Once you see it in your browser, right-clcik the picture, select "Copy Image", jump to your graphics program, and hit CTRL V to paste it. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Use Rubber Bands to Keep Tools from Slipping To keep tools from slipping in your hands, wrap those free rubber bands that come on vegetables or newspapers around the handle. It really makes for a good grip and sure a lot cheaper than the liquid you can buy for the purpose. When working on a roof, it keeps them from sliding also. I also use them on cans of aerosol hairspray, my hands seem to slip when I push the button. By latrtatr Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Doug went to the eye doctor for an examination because he was having trouble reading the newspaper. "Now that you're over 40," the doctor told him, "you've developed a condition called 'presbyopia,' in which the lens of your eye can no longer focus as well as it used to." Seeing his worried look, the doctor tried to be upbeat. "Con- gratulations!" he said. "You're now officially a presbyope!" Doug leaned over and asked seriously, "If that means I'm no longer a Roman Catholic, do I still have to go to Confession?"
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Thanks to Rose for this one: While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice. "What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?" "Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one."
A guy got on a bus one day and sat in the aisle seat beside an elderly lady. A few minutes later, he couldn't control himself and had to let loose a big noisy fart. Embarrassed, he tried to make conversation with the lady and asked her "Do you by any chance have todays paper?" The lady looked at him and said "No, but the next time we pass by a tree I'll grab you a handful of leaves."

Pedal Power

Today, January 18, in
1778 English navigator Captain James Cook discovered the 
 Hawaiian Islands, which he called the "Sandwich Islands."
1788 The first English settlers arrived in Australia's 
 Botany Bay to establish a penal colony. The group moved 
 north eight days later and settled at Port Jackson.
1871 Wilhelm, King of Prussia from 1861, was proclaimed 
 the first German Emperor.
1896 The x-ray machine was exhibited for the first time.
1911 For the first time an aircraft landed on a ship. Pilot 
 Eugene B. Ely flew onto the deck of the USS Pennsylvania 
 in San Francisco harbor.
1939 Louis Armstrong and his orchestra recorded "Jeepers 
1943 During World War II, the Soviets announced that they 
 had broken the Nazi siege of Leningrad, which had began 
 in September of 1941.
1943 U.S. commercial bakers stopped selling sliced bread. 
 Only whole loaves were sold during the ban until the end 
 of World War II.
1950 The federal tax on oleomargarine was repealed.
1957 The first, non-stop, around-the-world, jet flight came 
 to an end at Riverside, CA. The plane was refueled in mid-flight 
 by huge aerial tankers.
1964 The plans for the World Trade Center in New York were 
1978 The European Court of Human Rights cleared the British 
 government of torture but found it guilty of inhuman and 
 degrading treatment of prisoners in Northern Ireland.
1990 In an FBI sting, Washington, DC, Mayor Marion Barry was 
 arrested for drug possession. He was later convicted of a 
1991 Eastern Airlines shut down after 62 years in business 
 due to financial problems.
1995 A network of caves were discovered near the town of 
 Vallon-Pont-d'Arc in southern France. The caves contained 
 paintings and engravings that were 17,000 to 20,000 years 
1997 Hutu militiamen killed three Spanish aid workers and 
 three soldiers and seriously wounded an American in a 
 night attack in NW Rwanda.
2002 The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) announced 
 the approval of a saliva-based ovulation test.
2012 Wikipedia began a 24-hour "blackout" in protest against 
 proposed anti-piracy legislation (S. 968 and H.R. 3261) 
 known as the Protect Intellectual Property Act (PIPA) in 
 the Senate and the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) in the 
 House. Many websites, including Reddit, Google, Facebook, 
 Amazon and others, contended would make it challenging 
 if not impossible for them to operate. 
2014  smiled.

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