Here is how to make filters in Gmail 

Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, January 28.

Today's International Bonehead Award goes for Most memorable mug shot after getting jailed for criminal impersonation Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1986 The U.S. space shuttle Challenger exploded just after takeoff. All seven of its crewmembers were killed. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. --- Phyllis Diller He who has a why to live can bear almost any how. --- Friedrich Nietzsche
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Thanks to Connie for this story: The telemarketer did his best to convince me to renew my subscription for another year. "At this price, it's really a great bargain," he said. I'm elderly," I laughed. "I might die before the subscription ends." "No problem," he assured me. "You'll get a refund."
Thanks to Margaret for this story: Jesse Jackson got out of the shower and was drying off when he looked in the mirror and noticed he was white from the neck up to the top of his head. In sheer panic and fearing he really was turning white and might have to start working for a living, he called his doctor and told him of his problem. The doctor advised him to come to his office immediately. After an examination, the doctor mixed a concoction of brown liquid, gave it to Jesse, and told him to drink it all. Jesse did and replied, "That tasted like bull sh..!" The doctor replied, "It was, Jesse. You were a quart low."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Arena Arnold, 27, Penfield, NY Most memorable mug shot after getting jailed for criminal impersonation reported by Huff Post Investigators say Arnold was in a car crash, and tried to portray herself as a passenger when she was the driver, reported. Arnold was allegedly untruthful about her identity and also was intoxicated, investigators told the Victor Post. Arnold was arraigned and taken to the Monroe County Jail where she remains in lieu of $2,500 cash bail or $5,000 bond. Regardless of the outcome of the case, her bug-eyed, cross-eyed mug is one for the ages. Arnold is hamming it up in her mugshot and apparently doesn't have cross-eyes. Tech Support Pits From: Ruby Re: How do you make filters on Gmail? Dear Webby You have mentioned lots of times to make filters on Gmail, but the issue where you told us how to do that, must have been censored by the @#$%&!! at Verizon. They are getting to be a real nuisance. So I need to know the tricks for customizing Gmail to my needs. Thanks Sweetie! Ruby (jewelry please, not lips!) Dear Ruby In Gmail look for the cutesy little gear at the top right corner. Click that Select Settings In there near the top you see a long line of topics. Usually the 5th from the left is "Filters". They are "Alternate Lifestyle" type links without underline. Click "Filters". Scroll all the way to the bottom. There you see another one of those lukewarm links, called "Create a new filter". That gets you to a form, where you can create a filter. It looks confusing, but is probably quite clear to the people at Google. What they mean is you can put in what to look for in the FROM line, or the TO line or the Subject line or the Body. Don't put stuff into more than one field. Their filters are not as robust as the ones in MailWasher. Just fill one field, for example put into the FROM field. DON'T click on the magnifying glass at the left bottom to test, unless you want to start all over. They klutz3ed up the return from test. So don't do a test unless you really doubt your ability to enter valid criteria. Instead click on CREATE FILTER In the next screen you have all kinds of options for what to do with caught stuff. For example put a checkmark into "Never send it to Spam" and into "Apply the label" and pull that down to the letter H You can even make new labels there. Thenn, down near the bottom is a checkbox "Also apply filter to matching conversations." Check that one. Then hit CREATE FILTER In there the test works without messing up, and from now on that filter will protect your Humor Letter from getting tossed into the Spam, if I am thundering about certain Malware. You can just as easily make filters to nuke unwanted stuff. Theoretically they were going to make it so that it learns about what people deliberately toss into Spam, but that does not work yet. You have to make filters. After the first one it is quite easy. Just don't click on the TEST button. Gmail has VERY good spam filtering, but sometimes their well intentiond efforts go a bit too far and you need filters more to protect legitimate mail than to dump bad stuff. For fine tuning the results I use MailWasher. There you can use "but not if" and similar rules. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Ice for Treating a Cold Sore When you first start to feel the uncomfortable tingle start applying ice to the infected area on and off till the cube has melted. Afterward pat dry. Make a mixture out of extra virgin coconut oil about 1 tbs, and tea tree oil (3-4 drops). Heat the coconut oil in a small bottle by submerging it with a lid on it in warm water, then add the tea tree oil shake to mix. Use ice, then mixture 3-5 daily. It should not get any bigger and heal in 2-4 days in my experience. It is best if the mixture is applied with a Q-tip. By mrs.emmert Aloe Vera works well too. I cut or puncture a capsule and squeeze a drop onto the starting cold sore, and repeat that half a day later, if necessary. If not, I eat the cut capsule. Like honey, Aloe Vera does not go bad, but cut capsules littering the medicine shelf are a nuisance. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Laura is driving down the highway with her hand stuck out the window and waving in every direction. The police officer that is following behind her finally has had enough and hits the lights and signals Laura to pull over. "First you put your hand up, like you're turning right, then you wave your hand up and down, then you turn left," said the officer. "I decided not to turn right," Laura explains. "Then why the up and down?" asks the officer. "Officer," Laura sniffs, "I was erasing!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

How many gears in a French tank? Sixteen, fifteen reverse, and one forward in case they are attacked from behind.
>From Chris Dear Webby, can you please bring the "Dogfood Diet" again? Sure! DOGFOOD DIET I have a Labrador Retriever & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog (?) On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete, so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy who was behind her. Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned. I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a truck hit me. I thought the tall guy was going to need help as he roared with laughter staggering to the door and fresh air.

Black Top Art

Today, January 28, in
1521 The Diet of Worms began, at which Protestant reformer 
 Luther was declared an outlaw by the Roman Catholic church.
 Diets have had a bad name ever since.
1547 England's King Henry VIII died. He was succeeded by 
 his 9 year-old son, Edward VI.
1788 The first British penal settlement was founded at 
 Botany Bay.
1807 London's Pall Mall became the first street lit 
 by gaslight.
1871 France surrendered in the Franco-Prussian War.
1878 The first telephone switchboard was installed 
 in New Haven, CT.
1909 The United States ended direct control over Cuba.
1915 The Coast Guard was created to fight contraband trade
1918 The Bolsheviks occupied Helsinki, Finland.
1935 Iceland became the first country to introduce 
 legalized abortion.
1938 The first US ski tow started operation in Vermont.
1945 During World War II, Allied supplies began reaching 
 China over the newly reopened Burma Road.
1958 Construction began on first private thorium-uranium 
 nuclear reactor.
1965 General Motors reported the biggest profit of any 
 U.S. company in history.
1980 Six Americans who had fled the U.S. embassy in Tehran, 
 Iran, on November 4, 1979, left Iran using false Canadian 
 diplomatic passports. The Americans had been hidden at 
 the Canadian embassy in Tehran.
1982 Italian anti-terrorism forces rescued U.S. Brigadier 
 General James L. Dozier 42 days after he had been kidnapped 
 by the Red Brigades.
1986 The U.S. space shuttle Challenger exploded just after 
 takeoff. All seven of its crewmembers were killed.
1999 Ford Motor Company announced the purchase of Sweden's 
 Volvo AB for $6.45 billion.
2014  smiled.

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