Humor: Computer set-up when moving to a different town 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, February 3.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today's International Bonehead Award goes to an Atlanta man who stole a tow truck and used it to steal stranded cars from their snowapocalypse. Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 2010 The Alberto Giacometti sculpture L'Homme qui marche sold for $103.7 million. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain. --- Edward De Bono God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. --- Voltaire (1694 - 1778)
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"Look at ME!!" boasted the fit old man, pounding a very flat and firm stomach, having just finished 100 sit-ups before a group of young people. "Fit as a fiddle! And you want to know why?? I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't stay up late, and I don't chase after loose women!!" He smiled at them, teeth white, eyes aglitter, "And tomorrow, YAHOO, I'm going to celebrate my *95th* birthday!!!" "Oh, really?" drawled one of the young onlookers, "How? With an extra bran muffin?"
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old nuns in the car - two in the front seat and three in the back - wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?" "Ma'am," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers." "Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly... Twenty-Two miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly. The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle, explains to her that "22" was the highway number, not the speed limit. A bit embarassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error. "But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car ok? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time." the officer asks. "Oh, they'll be alright in a minute, officer. We just got off Route 119." 119 is a gravel highway, one lane in each direction. When the cop relayed the event to the dispatcher, he was told: You better shoot them down before they get to the 401!" (The 401 is now #1, the Highway of Heroes, named that to honor the soldiers, who died in service in Afghanistan.)
Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture: Click on the picture for the large version Aurora Astralis from space
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Louis Mitchell Jr., 34, Atlanta, GA an Atlanta man who stole a tow truck and used it to steal stranded cars from their snowapocalypse. A 34-year-old man is accused of using a tow truck to take cars that were abandoned in Atlanta during the winter storm and traffic jam. Police said Louis Mitchell Jr. was arrested Thursday and charged with auto theft, forgery and other offenses. Atlanta Police Sgt. Greg Lyon told The Atlanta Journal- Constitution (http://bit.ly/1gz4aKo) that a police officer saw an unmarked tow truck pulling a car. The truck fled when the officer tried stopping it. The driver and passenger fled the truck during the chase withut stopping it, sending it crashing. Investigators say the tow truck was stolen this month. It was pulling a Toyota that was stranded on Interstate 85. The investigation led police to five other cars taken from highways. Mitchell is being held in the Fulton County jail on five counts of theft by taking auto, three counts of second-degree forgery and one count each of criminal damage to property, affixing a license plate to conceal, and driving with a suspended license, according to records. His next court appearance is Feb. 14 at the Fulton County Justice Center. Tech Support Pits From: Chris Re: Moving Dear Webby, My question and PLEASE don't laugh because I never did this before and I don't know how. This is my very first computer. I have things on here, by checking acct., bills I pay online, other web sites, stored things like recipes etc., How do I go about changing addresses on all of them if I have to move and once moved will my computer still have all the info once plugged back in? Seriously Webby, I DO NOT know that's why I'm asking you. You never steered me wrong before. Thank You. Chris Dear Chris It depends on how far you are going to move. If you move to the moon, then your address will change from gmail to gmoon. There is also gmars, gvenus, and gheaven. There is no ghell. If you go to hell, you'll have to use Yahell. However, if you stay on earth, then your gmail email address won't change. If you use the same ISP at the new place, for example earthlink, then all you change is the dial-up number to the number of that town. If you use DSL, your ISP will provide you with a pre-programmed modem-router combo, and instructions about phoning them, once you have it unpacked and plugged in. They will, if necessary, walk you rgeough the registration. Usually it is automatic these days. Everything else will stay the same. You can change the default shipping address at DELL, Victoria's Secret, and wherever you shop, when you place your next order. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Photo Coasters Soap Makes Needles Glide Through Fabric You can stick your needles and pins in a bar of soap to make them slide into your material easier. I use the little bars that you get at the motel. You can keep them in the wrapper and it doesn't sliver off. By Mary Warren Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Three small boys were bragging about their fathers. The first boasted that his dad owned a farm. The second said his dad owned a factory. The third boy, a pastors son, replied: "That's nothin'. My dad owns hell." "No way," another boy scoffed. "How can a man own hell?" "Sure he can," the preacher's son said. "My mom told my grandma that them elders of our church gave it to him last night."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A colleague was planning a trip to my business office and asked if I could find him a hotel with exercise facilities. I called several hotels, with no luck. Finally, I thought I had found one. I asked the receptionist if the hotel had a weight room. "No," she replied, "but we have a lobby and he can wait there."
A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." And then finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." He sat down. The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, "For our closching schong, hic, let ussch sching Hymn # 365: "Schall We Gather at, hic, the Rrriver."

Classic Cars

Today, February 3, in
1488 The Portuguese navigator Bartholomeu Diaz landed at 
 Mossal Bay in the Cape, the first European known to have 
 landed on the southern extremity of Africa.
1690 The first paper money in America was issued by the 
 Massachusetts colony. The currency was used to pay soldiers 
 that were fighting in the war against Quebec.
1783 Spain recognized the independence of the United States.
1815 The world's first commercial cheese factory was 
 established in Switzerland.
1862 Thomas Edison printed the "Weekly Herald" and distributed 
 it to train passengers traveling between Port Huron and 
 Detroit, MI. It was the first time a newspaper had been 
 printed on a train.
1913 The 16th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified. 
 It authorized the power to impose and collect income tax.
1916 In Ottawa, Canada's original parliament buildings 
 burned down.
1917 The U.S. broke off diplomatic relations with Germany, 
 which had announced a policy of unrestricted submarine warfare.
1941 In Vichy, France, the Nazis used force to restore 
 Pierre Laval to office.
1945 Russia agreed to enter World War II against Japan.
1966 The first rocket-assisted controlled landing on the 
 Moon was made by the Soviet space vehicle Luna IX.
1972 The first Winter Olympics in Asia were held at 
 Sapporo, Japan.
1988 The U.S. House of Representatives rejected U.S. 
 President Reagan's request for at least $36.25 million 
 in aid to the Nicaraguan Contras.
1998 In Italy, a U.S. Military plane hit a cable causing 
 the death of 20 skiers on a lift.
2010 The Alberto Giacometti sculpture L'Homme qui marche 
 sold for $103.7 million. 
2014  smiled.


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