Installing Linux instead of IE 

Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, February 8.

I got hit with the worst flu of my live. Eyes watering,
air panic when coughing, thick discharge from the nose.
very painful swallowing, and zero appetite.
My voice makes John Wayne sound like a juvenile squeaker
by comparison. Quite funny when I tell a telemarketer to
HOLD and click on

They might still hear my coughing, even  with the phone
sitting in front of the left speaker, but I really don't 
care. After ten minutes or so, I get the BEEP BEEP BEEP
signal telling me that they have hung up.

Have FUN!

Today's International Bonehead Award goes to Married Teacher - Charged After Nude Selfie Pops Up On Revenge Porn Site Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1985 "The Dukes of Hazzard" ended its 6-1/2 year run on CBS television. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
I never guess. It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts. --- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (1859 - 1930) -------------- Somebody should 'splain that to Al Gore and the Climate Change sheeple
If you are traveling or have a dynamic IP address, or occasionally send from McDonalds or a coffee shop, then you need SMTP2go for reliable and uncensored email SENDING. AND, Most ISPs demand that you use THEIR name after the @, instead of your chosen domain name. With SMTP2go you can use YOUR domain name, even if you travel or are at a Hotspot downtown. Send email from anywhere without ANY hassle with SMTP2go.

Two very elderly friends, Max and Wally, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems. One day Wally didn't show up Max didn't think much about it, figured maybe he had a cold or some such. But after Wally hadn't shown up for a week or so Max really got worried. However, the only time they ever got together anymore (they used to play a lot of golf together) was at the park, and Max couldn't remember where Wally lived so he was unable to find out what had happened to him. A month passed and Max figured old Wally had gone to his heavenly reward, but one day Max approached the park and, lo and behold, there sat Wally! Max was very excited and happy to see him and told him so! Then he said, "For crying out loud Wally, what happened to you???" Wally replied, "I have been in jail." "Jail???," cried Max!! "What in the world for???" "Well," Wally said, "You know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where we sometimes get coffee?" "Yeah" said MAX, "I remember her. What about her?" "Well one day last month she got mad at me and to get even, she charged me with rape. I was so proud of what everyone would think an old fart like me could still do, that when I got into court, I pled 'Guilty'. The judge then took a good look at me and gave me 30 days for perjury."
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee. "What's the matter dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why are you down here at this time of night?" "Do you remember when I met you and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly. The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes, I do" she replies. The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car, making love?" "Yes, I remember" says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continues... "Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my face and said, "either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 >years?'" "I remember that too" she replies softly. He wipes another tear from his cheek and says..."I would have gotten out today.
Click on the picture for the large version sky-whale-pigeon-point
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jamie Climie, 36, West Chester, OH Married Teacher - Charged After Nude Selfie Pops Up On Revenge Porn Site Jamie Climie, a 36-year-old married teacher at Cincinnati Hills Christian Academy, has been charged after she allegedly lied to police when nude self-taken photographs popped up on a revenge-porn website. According to West Chester police, Climie was arrested late last month after investigators learned that a mobile phone that she had reported stolen, went missing for an entirely different reason. The trouble began when nude photographs of the 5th grade science teacher appeared on the revenge-porn website back on November 23. Below the images appeared a message which states "Jaimie is married, has children, and works for Cincinnati Hills Christian Academy. She loves showing off her fake tits to anyone willing to give her attention." Investigators say Climie lied to officers on November 24 when she reported that her iPhone had been stolen from her residence. Climie also told investigators that her phone contained racy photographs that she had taken for her husband. Climie resigned from her teaching position at the school on November 30 when news of the photographs reached school officials. At the time, Climie and her husband told local news outlets that they were working with law enforcement to catch the suspect responsible for stealing the phone that contained the nude images. A forensic investigation of Climie's cellphone records and IP address backtracking revealed, however, that Climie sent at least one of the photographs to someone other than her husband prior to the date she claimed that the phone had been stolen. Charges were filed on Jan 16 and a warrant was issued for her arrest. She reportedly turned herself in to police 5 days later. Climie was charged with second-degree obstruction of official business and then released on her own recognizance. Her crime was not the pictures, she is quite cute enough, but lying to the cops. It would be interesting to find out who posted the pictures, whether she had broken a student's heart, or whether she stopped an affair with a grown-up. Tech Support Pits From: Candy Re: Migrating to Linux Dear Webby, I have internet explorer. How do I go about getting Linux for my computer? Thank you. Candy Dear Candy Linux is not a browser, it is an operating system, a very good one! 99.99% of all web servers, that serve the pages, when you browse, and 60% of the POS (Point Of Sale) computers in stores use Linux, the other 40% use Windows XP, and will jump to Linux the day they can't continue to use XP. The Ezinefinder, that is stuck in January, uses a Mac server. Unlike Windows, it does not keep crashing, and for getting actual work done, it is pretty well impossible to beat. To migrate to Linux first get used to Open Office or Office Libre. They are free equivalents of the expensive Microsoft Office. On Linux you use Open Office or Office Libre. Like almost everything on Linux, they are free. And get comfortable with FireFox for your browser. It is better anyway, and works exactly the same on Linux as in Windows. For email, try Thunderbird. It was built with Eudora's source code and has the same reliability and features, but the features are voluntary, only what you choose, not the whole shebang installed automatically. If you like Outlook, try Evolution. Again, same as everyting on Linux, there are a lot more to choose from, and they ar all free. If all the Penguins in your LUG use a certain program, use that program for a start. They will know all the tricks and features. You can always switch to a different program later. The idea is to get good and comfortable with all the programs, that you will be using. Then get used to a graphics program, that has a Linux version. Most of them do, Once you are comfortable with those programs, have a look for a LUG in your area. A LUG is a Linux User Group, where all the Penguins hang out. Linux users are usually called Penguins. Join some LUGs, they are usually Online Forums. Some are nice and friendly, some have mouthy kids, who probably know a lot, but have not yet learned diplomacy. Dump those and stick with the friendly ones, Just lurk for a while and see who on that group is the most knowledgeable and friendly. You will soon pick up the lingo. On friendly LUGs it is quite OK to ask dumb questions like "What is a Live CD" and where can I get one. Sooner or later you will have to ask that question. A "Live CD" is a CD, that lets you boot from it into Linux, without formatting your computer. You basically run Linux off that CD. The people on that LUG will by that time know enough about you, so that they can recommend a certain flavor of Linux. If you don't like that flavor of Linux, don't be shy on the forum. Having tried a Live CD makes you a Penguin, an Insider. There are dozens of different flavors of Linux. Sooner or later you will find one, that you like, and from each flavor, you will learn something. Then all of a sudden you realize that you are enjoying yourself, and even answering question on the forum. Once you have decided on a certain flavor of Linux, then you can install it on your computer, so that it will ask you on boot-up: Windows or Linux Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Use Hair Color to Combat Head Lice I brought up 5 children and when one got lice, they all got lice. It is not a very funny subject in that you have to wash and dry everything in the house. The medication is not really great so I used hair dye on them. Each child's hair was dyed the same color it was before they had lice. I found the hair coloring killed the lice better than any prescription medication ever did. Boy, was I thankful when they got older and there were no more lice infestations! By gem Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
A friend and his wife were considering traveling to Alaska for a trip that the husband had long dreamed of taking. He kept talking about how great it would be to stay in a log cabin without electricity, to hunt moose, and drive a dog team instead of a car. "If we decided to live there permanently, away from civil- ization, what would you miss the most?" he asked his wife. She replied, "You." ------------- Sounds familiar. Where are you now, Marilee? Still alive?
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

This has been nominated for best email of 1999. The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review. So the story begin: Room Service (RS): "Morny. Ruin sorbees" Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service" RS: "Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??" G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs" RS: "Ow July den?" G: "What??" RS: "Ow July den?...pry, boy, pooch?"! ; G : "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please." RS: "Ow July dee bayhcem...crease?" G: "Crisp will be fine." RS : "Hokay. An San tos?" G: "What?" RS:"San tos. July San tos?" G: "I don't think so" RS: "No? Judo one toes??" G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes means." RS: "Toes! toes!...why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?" G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes,an English muffin will be fine." RS: "We bother?" G: "No..just put the bother on the side." RS: "Wad?" G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side." RS: "Copy?" G: "Sorry?" RS: "Copy...tea...mill?" G: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all." RS: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy....rye??" G: "Whatever you say" RS: "Tendjewberrymud" G : "You're welcome"
>From Liz Everybody's a comedian. I called my local home improvement store for a simple piece of advice. "I know the Sheetrock is nailed to the studs," I said to the guy who answered the phone, "but how do I find the studs?" "Call me after 5 or put an ad in the personals column." he suggested.

» Sunrise

Today in 
1802 Simon Willard patented the banjo clock.
1861 The Confederate States of America was formed.
1861 A Cheyenne delegation and some Arapaho leaders accepted 
a new settlement (Treaty of Fort Wise) with the U.S. Federal 
government. The deal ceded most of their land but secured a 
600-square mile reservation and annuity payments.
1900 In South Africa, British troops under Gen. Buller were 
 beaten at Ladysmith. The British fled over the Tugela River.
1904 The Russo-Japanese War began with Japan attacking 
 Russian forces in Manchuria.
1952 Queen Elizabeth II ascended to the British throne. Her 
 father, George VI, had died on February 6.
1963 The Kennedy administration prohibited travel to Cuba and 
 made financial and commercial transactions with Cuba illegal 
 for U.S. citizens.
1963 Lamar Hunt, owner of the American Football League 
 franchise in Dallas, TX, moved the operation to Kansas 
 City. The new team was named the Chiefs.
1974 The three-man crew of the Skylab space station returned 
 to Earth after 84 days.
1978 The U.S. Senate deliberations were broadcast on radio 
 for the first time. The subject was Panama Canal treaties.
1980 U.S. President Jimmy Carter announced a plan to 
 re-introduce draft registration.
1985 "The Dukes of Hazzard" ended its 6-1/2 year run on 
 CBS television.
1993 General Motors sued NBC, alleging that "Dateline NBC" 
 had rigged two car-truck crashes to show that some GM 
 pickups were prone to fires after certain types of crashes. 
 The suit was settled the following day by NBC.
2014  smiled.

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