Restore trashed spam 

Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, February 9.

Have FUN!

Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a guy in Floriduh, who used Baby Stroller, Pickup Truck, Wrench and broom handle in Lakeland Attack Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1950 U.S. Senator Joseph McCarthy charged that the State Department was riddled with Communists. This was the beginning of "McCarthyism." Have FUN! DearWebby
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Man blames fate for all other accidents, but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole-in-one. --- Bishop Sheen Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe. --- Lee Trevino
If you are traveling or have a dynamic IP address, or occasionally send from McDonalds or a coffee shop, then you need SMTP2go for reliable and uncensored email SENDING. AND, Most ISPs demand that you use THEIR name after the @, instead of your chosen domain name. With SMTP2go you can use YOUR domain name, even if you travel or are at a Hotspot downtown. Send email from anywhere without ANY hassle with SMTP2go.

Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing their contract's sick-leave provisions. One morning at the bargaining table, the company's chief negotiator held aloft the morning edition of the newspaper, "This man," he announced, "Called in Sick yesterday!" There on the sports page, was a photo of the supposedly ill employee, who had just won a local golf tournament with an excellent score. The silence in the room was broken by a union negotiator. "Wow," he said. "Think of what kind of score he could have had if he hadn't been sick!"
>From Kat Thanks to Kati for this report: New Sign in Bank Lobby Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender. MALE PROCEDURE: 1. Drive up to the cash machine. 2. Put down your car window. 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN. 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw. 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt. 6. Put window up. 7. Drive off. ********************************************** FEMALE PROCEDURE: 1. Drive up to cash machine. 2. Reverse and back up required distance to align car window with machine 3. Set parking brake, put window down. 4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card 5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up 6. Attempt to insert card into machine. 7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from car. 8. Insert card. 9. Re-insert card right way. 10. Dig through handbag to find diary with PIN written on inside back page. 11. Enter PIN. 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN. 13. Enter amount of cash required. 14. Check makeup in rear view mirror. 15. Retrieve cash and receipt. 16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside. 17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook. 18. Re-check makeup. 19. Drive forward 2 feet. 20. Reverse back to cash machine. 21. Retrieve card. 22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into appropriate slot. 23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you. 24. Restart stalled engine and pull off. 25. Redial person on cell phone. 26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles. 27. Release Parking Brake.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jamaal Tarshae Johnson, 21, Lakeland, Floriduh Baby Stroller, Pickup Truck, Socket Wrench Broom Handle Used in Lakeland Attack A baby stroller. A socket wrench. A Ford pickup. A broom handle. And a revolver. A 21-year-old man was in jail Monday, accused of hitting or threatening a childhood acquaintance with all five items Friday because he was unhappy about how his pickup was running. Jamaal Tarshae Johnson of 3109 Crystal Hills Loop S., Lakeland, faces an assortment of charges, including aggravated battery with a deadly weapon, because he pointed a gun at Randall Settles, 22, of Fletcher Avenue, Lakeland, according to a Polk County Sheriff's Office arrest report. Settles had been working on Johnson's 1999 Ford F-250 for a week and a half before Friday's incident, according to the report. The two men have known each other since they were children, the report said. Johnson was unhappy with how it was running after a test drive near 3018 Crystal Hills Drive, Lakeland, and Settles explained that he couldn't fix the truck any better without parts. After Settles left to walk home, Johnson followed him with the truck and struck him from behind in an empty lot. The impact threw Settles about 10 feet and knocked him to the ground, the report said. The arrest report said Johnson got out of the truck and began hitting Settles with a broom handle, which Johnson allegedly used to beat Settles. Then came the revolver, which John allegedly pointed at Settles. Then there was more, according to The Ledger: As the altercation continued, Johnson went back to his truck and "armed himself with a baby stroller," swinging it in the direction of Settles... Johnson then grabbed a socket wrench and threw it through the open window of the car, hitting Settles in the face. A friend drove Settles to a convenience store, where an ambulace picked him up. Settles was rushed by ambulance to Lakeland Regional Medical Center where he was treated for various injuries. Johnson is charged including aggravated battery and assault with a deadly weapon. Tech Support Pits FFrom: Betty Re: Restoring trashed spam Dear Webby, I have Mailwasher and have tried to restore some email recently for the first time and cannot get it to restore. Can you help me. I get the message that the restored mail is being sent to **** Then I get an error message that the connection to the in coming server was reset, check the Internet connection, which I did and it seemed ok to me. What do I need to do to correct the problem. Thank you, Betty Dear Betty In MailWasher, go to TOOLS, OPTIONS, GENERAL SET SMTP Server You have to set the same SMTP server as in your email program. I know it's a nuisance when you travel and use different connections every night, but without that, MailWasher can't send the retrieved mail from your 3-day spam trash to your yahoo/sbcglobal mailbox. If you use SMTP2go it is a lot simpler. Basically, MailWasher has to act like outgoing meil, and send the restored mail to your incoming mail, as if it had just arrived and not been dumped into Spam. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Put Alarm Sticker in Your Window If you don't have a house alarm, you can always put an alarm system sticker in your window anyways! It may help deter burglars. Also, a car alarm can be used, if you can sleep with your car alarm remote with you. If you hear someone trespassing, hit the the panic button! If your car is close enough it will sound and hopefully scare the burglar away. By Selina from Hollywood, CA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
The boss was very exasperated with his new secretary. She ignored the telephone when it rang. "You must answer the telephone," he told her irritably. "All right," she replied, "but it seems so silly. Nine times out of ten, it's for you!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A little girl was wearing one of those Medical Alert bracelets. Someone asked her what the bracelet was for. She replied, "I'm allergic to nuts and eggs." The person asked, "Are you allergic to cats?" The girl said, "I don't know..... I don't eat cats."
'BAMA U DICTIONARY OF MEDICAL TERMS Anti-Body - against everyone Artery - study of paintings Bacteria - back door to a cafeteria Barium - what to do when treatment fails Bowel - letters lik A E I O or U Caesarean Section - a district in Rome Cardiology - advanced study of poker playing Cat Scan - searching for ones lost kitty Cauterize - made eye contact with her Colic - sheep dog Coma - punctuation mark Congenital - friendly D & C - where Washington is Dilate - to live long Enema - not a friend Fester - quicker Genes - blue denim slacks Genital - non-Jewish Hangnail - coat hook Hemorrhoid - a male From outer space Herpes - what women do in the Ladies Room Hormones - what a prostitute does when she doesn't get paid Impotent - distinguished, well known Inpatient - tired of waiting Labor Pain - hurt at work Medical Staff - a doctor's cane Minor Operation - coal digging Morbid - a higher bid Nitrate - cheaper than the Day Rate Node - was aware of Organic - organ repairman Outpatient - a person who has fainted Paralyze - two far-fetched stories Pharmacist - person who makes a living dealing in agriculture Post-Operative - a letter carrier Protein - in favor of young people Recovery Room - place to upholster furniture Rectum - what happened to the Corvette Rheumatic - amorous Saline - where you go on your boyfriend's boat Secretion - hiding something Tablet - a small table Terminal Illness - getting sick at the airport Tibia - country in North Africa Tumor - an extra pair Urine - opposite of You're Out Varicose - nearby Vein - conceited


Today in 
1825 The U.S. House of Representatives elected John Quincy 
 Adams president. No candidate had received a majority of 
 electoral votes.
1861 The Provisional Congress of the Confederate States of 
 America elected Jefferson Davis as its president.
1870 The United States Weather Bureau was authorized by 
 Congress. The bureau is officially known as the National 
 Weather Service (NWS).
1884 Thomas Edison and Patrick Kenny executed a patent 
 application for a chemical recording stock quotation 
 telegraph (U.S. Pat. 314,115).
1885 The first Japanese arrived in Hawaii.
1895 Volley Ball was invented by W.G. Morgan.
1895 The first college basketball game was played as 
 Minnesota State School of Agriculture defeated the 
 Porkers of Hamline College, 9-3.
1900 Dwight F. Davis put up a new tennis trophy to go to 
 the winner in matches against England. The trophy was a 
 silver cup that weighed 36 pounds.
1932 America entered the 2-man bobsled competition for the 
 first time at the Olympic Winter Games held at Lake 
 Placid, NY.
1942 The U.S. Joint Chiefs of Staff held its first formal 
 meeting to coordinate military strategy during World War II.
1942 Daylight-saving "War Time" went into effect in the U.S.
1943 During World War II, the battle of Guadalcanal ended 
 with an American victory over Japanese forces.
1950 U.S. Senator Joseph McCarthy charged that the State Department 
 was riddled with Communists. This was the beginning of 
1953 The movie "Superman" premiered.
1969 The Boeing 747 flew its inaugural flight.
1971 The San Fernando Valley experienced the Sylmar earthquake 
 that registered 6.4 on the Richter Scale.
1971 The Apollo 14 spacecraft returned to Earth after mankind's 
 third landing on the moon.
1975 The Russian Soyuz 17 returned to Earth.
2001 "Hannibal," the sequel to "Silence of the Lambs", opened.
2014  smiled.

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