Thursday, February 27, 2014, 11:13 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday, February 27.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Today's International Bonehead Award goes to
Floriduh teacher's Aide Jailed for Bottomless DUI Safari
Details at International Bonehead Awards
From the History section at the bottom:
Today, in
1991 U.S. President George H.W. Bush announced live on TV
that "Kuwait is liberated."
Have FUN!
DearWebby
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Luck is what you have left over after you give 100 percent.
--- Langston Coleman
Who owns that unidentified phone number?
Look up all the details quickly and easily
with Reverse Lookup.
Extremely low annual fee for unlimited use.
>From Walter, the Stonecarver at http://stonecarver.com
The current phone number for Obamacare (Obama's healthcare)
now is 1-800-318-2596
which spells out
1-800-f1uckyo
Not as naughty.
Sorry about the misinformation yesterday!
He was on the bus where he normally gets his lunch stolen
when he brought out a bottle that had what looked like
small brown balls in it.
He then, making sure no one was looking, secretly took
from his pocket some milk duds and started popping them
in his mouth, as obvious to the rest of the kids as
possible, making yum yum noises.
The bully, without asking, snatched the jar from Ken's
hand and asked, "What's in the bottle that you are making
such a big deal of?"
"Well, they're smart pills."
"Smart pills?" the bully asked, then opened the jar and
popped a couple of the foreign brown balls in his mouth.
"Pweeuuweppblahhh!!" he reacted. "What is this stuff?
It tastes like rabbit turds!!"
"Do you eat a lot of rabbit turds to be able to recognize
them so quickly? Or are you getting smarter already?"
Thanks to Janina for this picture:
Click on the picture for the large version
Tropical flowers in Port Douglas, Australia
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Kristi Steuber, 41, Wesley Chapel, Floriduh
Jailed for Bottomless DUI Safari
Kristi Steuber, a 41-year-old teacher's aide at Paul R Smith
Middle School, was jailed Saturday after she was allegedly
caught driving drunk with no pants on.
According to the Pasco County Sheriff's Office, Steuber was
stopped early Saturday morning when a deputy clocked her
traveling 69 miles-per-hour in a 55-mph zone.
When the deputy approached the driver's window and smelled
the odor of alcohol, Steuber was asked to step out of the
vehicle to complete a field sobriety test. That's when the
deputy realized that Steuber was completely nude from
the waist down.
Steuber, according to the arrest affidavit, didn't realize
that she had no pants on. Deputies pointed out her lack
of clothing four times before she finally understood what
they were saying and put some pants on.
Steuber's blood alcohol level was measured at 0.135 and
0.137 after failing a field sobriety test.
She was booked into the Pasco County Jail and charged
with DUI.
Tech Support Pits
From: Darla
Re: XP fearmongering
Dear Webby,
I wrote to you back in January regarding the no support
issue for XP after April 8th. I’ve been reading more
info & getting more confused. I have a couple of question’s
to ask you because I don’t want to have to buy a new
computer right now.
If I keep my old computer with XP & continue to use
Internet Explorer & Outlook Express (Also use Kasperksy)
will I be ok from Hacker's etc ? Or would I be any
safer using Chrome as my default browser while still
using Outlook Express ?
A employee at a "store" that sells computers said I could
keep XP and change to Chrome and still be able to use
Outlook Express for my mail.
Thank you so much for your time,
Darla
Dear Darla
Your XP with Kasperski and IE and Outlook Express will
continue to function as usual. Just because you are cute
and sexy, that does not mean the hackers will stop trying
to break into banks and government, and suddenly focus
on you.
Keep in mind that industry and commerce uses 55% Linux
and 45% XP.
The ones that use XP all have a Linux "Live CD' in a
drawer and can switch to Linux in minutes. All the store
POS (Point Of Sale) machines run fine on Linux, but nobody
in their right mind would try to run them on W7.
For W7 and W8 they would have to replace the machines.
While that would delight Microsoft and their Asian computer
manufacturing businesses, industry and commerce does not
consider that a justifiable business expense, not when
everything runs just fine on XP or Linux.
Any hostile action by Microsoft against XP users will just
drive Industry and Commerce to Linux. So, don't panic
about the sales hype.
Outlook Express is on Death Row.
It would probably be a good idea to start getting used to
an email program, that is viable. I still use Eudora,
and have since 1993. The modern version of it, using the
source code of it, is Thunderbird. I have never heard
anything bad about it. You might want to look at Thunderbird
and get familiar with it.
The major difference between Eudora and Thunderbird is that
Thunderbird has a Linux version.
That way, if you some day have to replace your XP when it
dies of old age, and you get fed up with W8 and switch
to Linux, you are already comfortable with the email
program.
The same goes for browsers. FireFox is the same on
Windows and Linux.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Keep Toothbrush In Cabinet
We have all heard keeping a toothbrush in the vicinity
of a flushing toilet is not good, as it can catch what
sprays into the air, ick! So, all it takes is a wood
bathroom cabinet and cup hooks, problem easily solved.
By linda h.
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
A nurse noticed a man in golf attire pacing up and down out-
side the operating room where another golfer who had a golf
ball driven down his throat, was being treated.
"Is he a relative of yours?" the nurse, stepping outside
the room, asked the pacing golfer.
"No," replied the man, "That's my ball!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
>From Casey
When I was a child my family used to sometimes take our
vacations, in British Columbia. In those days all Canadians
appreciated their American neighbors. We had a favorite
place to visit, mostly because of the fine fishing. It was
at a Lake that was about 30 miles long and a 1/2 mile wide.
While we were around our campfire in the evening the local
Indians would go from camp to camp selling their wares. They
would also tell of the Legends of the area. This one Legend
always stuck in my mind.
It seemed that on this particular Lake two Indian Tribes
made their homes. They were, however, at War, with one
another from years before.
There was an Indian Maiden in one Camp who was in love with
a young Brave in the other Camp. They used to stand, on the
shore, each on their respective side of the Lake, and chant
Indian love calls to each other...even though they were
warned by their Chiefs that nothing could ever come of it.
One day they just could not stand being apart any longer.
That evening, on a cold Fall night, they each jumped into
the Lake and swam towards each other in the Moonlight. When
they reached each other in the center of the Lake, they
embraced and eventually froze to death. This act so im-
pressed the Brave's Tribe that they named the Lake after the
young man.
I will never forget those wonderful vacations that we spent
at "Lake Stupid".
THESE ARE ACTUAL EXCERPTS FROM STUDENT SCIENCE EXAM PAPERS:
Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the organ of the
species.
Benjamin Franklin produced electricity by rubbing cats
backwards.
The theory of evolution was greatly objected to because it
made man think.
Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and
caterpillers.
The process of turning steam back into water again is
called conversation.
The Earth makes one resolution every 24 hours.
To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame
in a test tube.
Algebraical symbols are used when you do not know what
you are talking about.
The pistol of a flower is its only protection against
insects.
Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on
them and makes them perspire.
A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than
it can hold.
A triangle which has an angle of 135 degrees is called
an obscene triangle.
When you haven't got enough iodine in your blood you
get a glacier.
For fractures: to see if the limb is broken, wiggle it
gently back and forth.
To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over
the nose.
For asphyxiation: apply artificial respiration until
the patient is dead.
When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon
monoxide.
Today in
1700 The Pacific Island of New Britain was discovered.
1801 The city of Washington, DC, was placed under
congressional jurisdiction.
1827 New Orleans held its first Mardi Gras celebration.
1861 In Warsaw, Russian troops fired on a crowd protesting
Russian rule over Poland. Five protesting marchers were
killed in the incident.
1867 Dr. William G. Bonwill invented the dental mallet.
1883 Oscar Hammerstein patented the first cigar-rolling
machine.
1896 The "Charlotte Observer" published a picture of an
X-ray photograph made by Dr. H.L. Smith. The photograph
showed a perfect picture of all the bones of a hand and
a bullet that Smith had placed between the third and
fourth fingers in the palm.
1900 In South Africa, the British received an unconditional
surrender from Boer Gen. Piet Cronje at Paardeberg.
1933 The Reichstag, Germany's parliament building in Berlin,
was set afire. The Nazis accused Communist for the fire.
1939 The U.S. Supreme Court outlawed sit-down strikes.
1949 Chaim Weizmann became the first Israeli president.
1951 The 22nd Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified,
limiting U.S. Presidents to two terms.
1973 The American Indian Movement occupied Wouned Knee in
South Dakota.
1981 Chrysler Corporation was granted an additional $400 million
in federal loan guarantees. Chrysler had posted a loss of
$1.7 billion in 1980.
1986 The U.S. Senate approved the telecast of its debates
on a trial basis.
1990 The Exxon Corporation and Exxon Shipping were indicted
on five criminal counts in reference to the 1989 Exxon
Valdez oil spill.
1991 U.S. President George H.W. Bush announced live on TV
that "Kuwait is liberated."
1997 In Ireland, divorce became legal.
1998 Britain's House of Lords agreed to give a monarch's
first-born daughter the same claim to the throne as any
first-born son. This was the end to 1,000 years of male
preference.
2002 In Boston, twenty people working at Logan International
Airport were charged with lying to get their jobs or
security badges.
2014 smiled.
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