Windows slowing after Updates 

Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, March 1.
To celebrate the begin of March we got an inch of powder 
snow overnight, and clear skies with sunshine in the morning.
By noon, when I walked to the post office and back, it had 
warmed up to -27 with just a light wind. At the post office
I remembered that I had lent the car to Barb, and that the
post office box key is on the car key ring. 

And no, they did not give me my mail. I guess, that would 
be too much like customer service.

It is cooling off drastically now, and I have a hunch Barb 
will be needing the car again at 4:45 am. I am going to 
start it and warm it up, just in case. Sure is a lot easier
with remote start than it used to be in the 70's, 80's
and 90's in the Yukon.

There the procedure was getting elbowed and reminded to go
start the truck, because it was 3 or 4 hours since the last
start, dressing up and shuffling out to the truck, putting 
the tiger torch and stove pipe under the truck and plywood
all around it, and going back inside for a coffee.

Ten, fifteen minutes later I'd go out there with my thermos
mug and a warm pillow, because sitting on the hard, frozen
seat is rather uncomfortable. After that it usually started
quite nicely. Then I just sit in the truck, sip my coffee,
watch the northern lights and wait for the engine to warm up.

With a carpet in front of the radiator and over the engine 
that usually only took fifteen minutes. The cab didn't really
warm up till spring, but as long as the engine temperature 
was at a quarter, that was good enough. 

Then I could stomp back toward the house, give each of the 
dogs some obligatory petting on the way by, and finally get
back inside and warm up. 

Surprisingly, that seemed quite normal and no big deal.

Have FUN!

Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a guy in Floriduh, who claimed he thought Cocain was not illegal in Floriduh. Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 2002 Operation Anaconda began in eastern Afghanistan. Allied forces were fighting against Taliban and Al Quaida fighters. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
People want economy and they will pay any price to get it. --- Lee Iacocca (1924 - ) "Half the people in Hollywood are dying to be discovered and the other half are afraid they will be." --- Lionel Barrymore
Who owns that unidentified phone number? Look up all the details quickly and easily with Reverse Lookup. Extremely low annual fee for unlimited use.

A man moved into a nudist colony. He received a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cut a photo in half, but accidentally sent the bottom half of the photo. He was really worried when he realized that he sent the wrong half, but then remembered how bad his grandmother's eyesight was, and hoped she wouldn't notice. Aftera couple of weeks he got a letter from her. It said, "Thank you for the picture. Change your hair style! You definitely got the Hinkley nose, but your hair style makes your nose look too short. Love, Grandma"
TOP 15 BIBLICAL WAYS TO ACQUIRE A WIFE 1. Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she's yours. - (Deuteronomy 21:11-13) 2. Find a prostitute and marry her. - (Hosea 1:1-3) 3. Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock - Moses (Exodus 2:16-21) 4. Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal. - Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10) 5. Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife. - Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25) 6. Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will cost you. - Adam (Genesis 2:19-24) 7. Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That's ri! ght. Fourteen years of hard labor for a wife. - Jacob (Genesis 29:15-30) 8. Cut 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law's enemies and get his daughter for a wife. - David (I Samuel 18:27) 9. Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you'll definitely find someone. (It's all relative, of course.) - Cain (Genesis 4:16-17) 10. Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest. - Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4) 11. When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I have seen a ... woman; now get her for me." If your parents question your decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She's the one for me." - Samson (Judges 14:1-3) 12. Kill any husband and take HIS wife (Prepare to lose four sons, though=). - David (2 Samuel 11) 13. Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It's not just a good idea; it's the law.) - Onan and Boaz (Deuterono! my or Leviticus, example in Ruth) 14. Don't be so picky. Ma ke up for quality with quantity. - Solomon (1 Kings 11:1-3) 15. A wife?...NOT! - Paul (1 Corinthians 7:32-35)
Thanks to Janina for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version Near Ayers Rock
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Guy Lanchester, 46, Key West, Floriduh Man Arrested For Cocaine Possession Thought Drug 'Wasn't Illegal In Florida.' A man arrested Sunday for cocaine possession told police in Key West that he "thought cocaine wasn't illegal in Florida," NBC Miami reports. He was wrong. Ignorance aside, authorities still arrested Guy Lanchester, 46, charging him with cocaine possession and felony tampering with evidence. Police say that Lanchester was caught suspiciously tossing a small plastic bag filled with white powder behind a planter. In fact, cocaine is very illegal in Florida and elsewhere. It is a schedule II substance under the Controlled Substances Act. Tech Support Pits From: Carol Re: Slower after every Microsoft Update Dear Webby, Rousing thinder and lightning storm woke me early this AM. Turned on the computer and after a re=boot it is behaving somewhat normally. It does seem slower after every MSFT update though. THanks again. Carol Dear Carol Yes, I noticed that too with Microsoft updates, especially with their frantic attempts to slow downXP to the speed, -or lack thereof-, of W7. Soon they will start slowing down W7 to the crawl of W8. If you have an XP, hang on to it! Have FUN! DearWebby
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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Gargle With Salt Water At the first sign of a sore throat, gargle with a warm solution of salt and water. Salt is very healing. Then call the doctor. If it is strep throat you need to get on antibiotics immediately. My son has had a problem with strep throat all of his life. (He is now 34.) Usually the doctor will swear on his diploma that it isn't strep. My son has to insist on having a culture. (the test for strep.) It always comes back positive, so if you are concerned that the doctor could be wrong, you might have to push him along. Source: Salt water gargle has been recommended for generations, and the doctor will usually suggest it. By hopeful from Salem, OR Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage? Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

When Diane found out she was pregnant, she told the good news to anyone who would listen. But her 4-year-old overheard some of her parents' private conversations. One day when Diane and her 4-year-old were shopping a woman asked the little girl if she was excited about the new baby. "Oh, yes!" the 4-year-old said, "and I know what we are going to name it. If it's a girl we're going to call her Christina, and if it's a boy we're going to call it quits!"
Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my illness, I always sense my boss thinks I am lying. On one occasion, I had a valid reason, but lied anyway because the truth was too humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I could think up a dozy to explain the bandage on my crown. The accident occurred mainly because I conceded to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty. Initially the new acquisition was no problem, but one morning I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen. "Ed! the garbage disposal is dead. Come reset it." "You know where the button is." I protested through the shower (pitter-patter). "Reset it yourself!" "I am scared!" She pleaded "What if it starts going and sucks me in?" (Pause) "C'mon, it'll only take a second." So out I came, dripping wet and butt naked, hoping to make a statement about how her cowardly behavior was not without consequence. I crouched down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing. It struck without warning, without respect to my circumstances. Nay, it wasn't a hexed disposal drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, clawing playfully at the dangling objects she spied between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I took the bait under the sink. At precisely the second I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws. Now when men feel pain or even sense danger anywhere close to their masculine region, they lose all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements. Instinctively, their nerves compel the body to contort inwardly, while rising upwardly at a violent rate of speed. Not even a well trained monk could calmly stand with his groin supporting the full weight of a kitten and rectify the situation in a step-by-step manner. Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome. Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option. Fleeing straight up, I knew at that moment how a cat feels when it is alarmed. It was a dismal irony. But, whereas cats seek great heights to escape, I never made it that far. The sink and cabinet bluntly impeded my ascent; the impact knocked me out cold. When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics snorted as they tried to conduct their work while suppressing their hysterical laughter. At the office, colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk. "What's the matter, cat got your tongue?" If they had only known.

» Orange It Is:

Today in 
1498 Vasco de Gama landed at what is now Mozambique 
 on his way to India.
1562 In Vassy, France, Catholics massacred over 1,000 
 Huguenots. The event started the First War of Religion.
1692 In Salem Village, in the Massachusetts Bay Colony, 
 the Salem witch trials began. Four women were the first 
 to be charged.
1810 Sweden became the first country to appoint an Ombudsman
1811 Egyptian ruler Mohammed Ali massacred the leaders of 
 the Mameluke dynasty.
1815 Napoleon returned to France from the island of Elba. 
 He had been forced to abdicate in April of 1814.
1862 Prussia formally recognized the Kingdom of Italy.
1869 Postage stamps with scenes were issued first time.
1872 The U.S. Congress authorized the creation of 
 Yellowstone National Park. It was the world's first 
 national park.
1873 E. Remington and Sons of Ilion, NY, began the 
 manufacturing the first practical typewriter.
1896 The Battle of Adowa began in Ethiopia between the 
 forces of Emperor Menelik II and Italian troops. The 
 Italians were defeated.
1900 In South Africa, Ladysmith was relieved by British 
 troops after being under siege by the Boers for more 
 than four months.
1907 In Odessa, Russia, there were only about 15,000 Jews 
 left due to evacuations.
1912 Captain Albert Berry made the first parachute jump 
 from a moving airplane.
1927 The Bank of Italy became a National Bank.
1937 U.S. Steel raised workers’ wages to $5 a day.
1937 In Connecticut, the first permanent automobile 
 license plates were issued.
1941 FM Radio began in Nashville, TN, when station 
 W47NV began operations.
1941 Bulgaria joined the Axis powers by signing the 
 Tripartite Pact.
1947 The International Monetary Fund began operations.
1949 Joe Louis announced that he was retiring from boxing 
 as world heavyweight boxing champion.
1950 Klaus Fuchs was convicted of giving U.S. atomic 
 secrets to the Soviet Union.
1954 The United States announced that it had conducted a 
 hydrogen bomb test on the Bikini Atoll in the Pacific Ocean.
1959 Archbishop Makarios returned to Cyprus from exile.
1961 The Peace Corps was established by U.S. President Kennedy.
1966 The Soviet probe, Venera 3 crashed on the planet Venus. 
 It was the first unmanned spacecraft to land on the surface 
 of another planet.
1966 Ghana ordered all Soviet, East German and Chinese 
 technicians to leave the country.
1971 A bomb exploded in a restroom in the Senate wing of 
 the U.S. Capitol. There were no injuries. A U.S. group 
 protesting the Vietnam War claimed responsibility.
1988 Soviet troops were sent into Azerbaijan after ethnic 
 riots between Armenians and Azerbaijanis.
1989 In Washington, DC, Mayor Barry and the City council 
 imposed a curfew on minors.
1992 Bosnian Serb snipers fired upon civilians after a 
 majority of the Moslem and Croatian communities voted 
 in favor of Bosnia's independence.
1992 Bosnian Muslims and Croats voted to secede from 
1993 The U.S. government announced that the number of 
 food stamp recipients had reached a record number of 
 26.6 million.
1994 Israel released about 500 Arab prisoners in an effort 
 to placate Palestinians over the Hebron massacre.
1995 Yahoo! was incorporated.
1999 The Angolan Embassy in Lusaka, Zambia, exploded. Four 
 other bombs went off in the capital.
1999 In Uganda, eight tourists were brutally murdered by 
 Hutu rebels.
2002 Operation Anaconda began in eastern Afghanistan. Allied 
 forces were fighting against Taliban and Al Quaida fighters.
2003 In the U.S., approximately 180,000 personnel from 22 
 different organizations around the government became part 
 of the Department of Homeland Security.
2003 Khalid Shaikh Mohammed was captured by CIA and Pakistani 
 agents near Islamabad. He was the suspected mastermind 
 behind the terrorist attacks on the United States on 
 September 11, 2001.
2014  smiled.

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