Moving to a new harddrive 

Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, March 4.

Have FUN!

Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Wisconsin Woman Offered Sex, $1000 For Fiancé's Murder, all on tape Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1975 Queen Elizabeth knighted Charlie Chaplin. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Aristotle was famous for knowing everything. He taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons. --- Will Cuppy
Who owns that unidentified phone number? Look up all the details quickly and easily with Reverse Lookup. Extremely low annual fee for unlimited use.

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in evident agony. The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She explained that she was a physical therapist: "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me", she told him earnestly. Ummph, oooh, nnooo, I'll be alright...I'll be fine in a few minutes, he replied reathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together at his crotch. But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and she put her hands inside and began to massage him. She then asked him: "How does that feel?" To which he replied: "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."
>From Rex For a couple years now I 've been blaming this feeling on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job, but now I found out the real reason: I'm tired because I'm overworked. The population of this country is 300 million. 167 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work. There are 85 million in school, which leaves 48 million to do the work. Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government, leaving 19 million to do the work. 2.8 million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 16.2 million to do the work. Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City Governments and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work. At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals, leaving 1,212,000 to do the work. Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work. You and me. And you're sitting at your computer reading jokes. ------- I have a hunch, those numbers need to be udated a bit.
Thanks to Janina for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version tropical-flowers-in-Port-Douglas-Australia
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jessica Strom, 33, Wausau, Wisconsin Wisconsin Woman Offered Sex, $1000 For Fiancé's Murder, on tape MARCH 3--Though she claimed to be willing to kill her fiancé herself, a Wisconsin woman opted instead to offer an informant $1000 plus sexual favors to carry out the murder, police charge. Jessica Strom, 33, allegedly wanted her beau, lawyer John Schellpfeffer, clipped at his office, according to Wausau Police Department reports. To help guide the gunman, Strom, a mother of three young children, provided a diagram of the 49-year-old Schellpfeffer’s workplace, as well as details about the daily routine of some of the attorney’s neighbors, cops noted. The gunman, Strom remarked, could “blow his brains out and walk out.” Police learned of the murder-for-hire plot last week, when the informant--a former classmate of Strom--contacted investigators. The informant, a licensed pilot, told cops that Strom, seen in the adjacent mug shot, asked to meet in person so that they could discuss a “business proposal.” When they got together last Wednesday evening, the man told cops, Strom asked, “Would you ever kill anybody?” When the pilot said no, Strom replied, “Well, what would it take to do it?” She added, “You’re very thorough and you’re very neat and I think you would be a good person to do this for me.” Strom told the pilot that she had been planning to kill Schellpfeffer for two years, claiming that the “controlling” attorney had “done bad things to her and others.” When the man remarked that she was in control and could “just get out of the relationship if she wanted to,” Strom replied “that wouldn’t give her any satisfaction,” investigators reported. Though the pilot had declined the hit solicitation, Strom asked him to think about it overnight. But, she warned, “Don’t tell anyone about this. I don’t want to have to kill you too.” The man subsequently contacted cops and agreed to record a meeting with Strom. As first reported by the Wisconsin Rapids Tribune, Strom assured the man that the murder would be “easy,” noting that, “I would do it, but I can’t, I’d be the first one they’d come after.” Though he had initially asked for $50,000 to kill Schellpfeffer, the informant told Strom that he would settle for $1000, adding “It’s better than nothing, I guess.” Strom replied, “And some sex!” At some point after the killing, Strom told the informant that she would meet up with him and “pay you and fuck you and whatever.” Before separating, Strom told the pilot, “If you chicken out let me know, okay?” She added, “Because otherwise I’ll set it up with someone else.” Strom’s home was raided by police Thursday night and she was arrested for conspiracy to commit first degree murder, which carries a maximum 60-year prison term. Strom told cops that she was not serious about having Schellpfeffer killed, and had intended to contact the pilot the following day to call off the murder. Locked up in lieu of $250,000 cash bond, Strom is scheduled for a March 12 preliminary hearing. Tech Support Pits From: Charles Re: Move to a bigger hard drive Hi Webby, My Dell 60GB Hard Drive has become noisy and I guessed it was time to exchange it for a larger one so that I could fit in a LINUX partition at the same time. Can I copy the entire contents of the existing drive, now CrapCleaned and Defraggled on to a memory stick and back again on to the new drive. It seems to be a good idea but will it work ? Charles Dear Charles Programs all have to be installed. Very few of them can just be dragged onto a drive. That would not "register" them in the Windows Registry. The only civilized way to do that is to use Roboform's "Move It". Just go to Roboform and from there to "Move It". With "Move It" you can do Multiple Transfer Scenarios­Use PCmover to move from an old PC to a new one, to transfer contents of an old hard drive (or image), or to perform an in-place upgrade even from Windows XP. It is not free, about $30, but well worth it. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Make a Straw Hole in Water Bottle Lid My 3 year old granddaughter loves that I make a hole the size of a straw in the lid of her bottled water container. It makes drinking so much fun and easier. It also keeps Grandma happy too because there are no spills. By Louella from Billings, MT Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
>From Hilla As an instructional assistant for a public school, part of my job involves teaching small groups of children. One day I was in charge of some second-graders, who were con- centrating on their artwork. As I reached across to help a student, he remarked that something smelled good. I was pleased that he noticed my perfume, until he held a wide felt-tip pen up to his nose and said, "Yep. New markers."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Five Jewish men who influenced the history of Western civilization. Moses said the law is everything. Jesus said love is everything. Marx said capital is everything. Freud said sex is everything. Einstein said everything is relative.
There once was a man who traveled to a strange foreign country, and while he was there he found a strange old lamp of some sort. When he got home he polished off the lamp, and out came a genie. Then the genie said "I'll give you three wishes, but on one condition, your mother in law gets twice as much as you wish." So the man decided for his first wish that he wanted 1 billion dollars, so his mother in law (who lived across the street) got 2 billion dollars. For the man's second wish he decided that he wanted to have a 200 room mansion, so his mother in law got a 400 room mansion. For the man's last wish, he took a long time to think it out, and then he said to the genie, "I wish you tear out one of my kidneys."

» A Fleet of Hooves

Today in 
1634 Samuel Cole opened the first tavern in Boston, MA.
1681 England's King Charles II granted a charter to William 
 Penn for an area that later became the state of Pennsylvania.
1766 The British Parliament repealed the Stamp Act, which had 
 caused bitter and violent opposition in the U.S. colonies.
1813 The Russians fighting against Napoleon reached Berlin. 
 The French garrison evacuated the city without a fight.
1826 The first railroad in the U.S. was chartered. It was 
 the Granite Railway in Quincy, MA.
1861 The Confederate States of America adopted the "Stars 
 and Bars" flag.
1877 Emile Berliner invented the microphone.
1880 Halftone engraving was used for the first time when 
 the "Daily Graphic" was published in New York City.
1904 In Korea, Russian troops retreated toward the Manchurian 
 border as 100,000 Japanese troops advanced.
1908 The New York board of education banned the act of 
 whipping students in school.
1908 France notified signatories of Algeciras that it would 
 send troops to Chaouia, Morocco.
1914 Doctor Fillatre successfully separated Siamese twins.
1933 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt gave his inauguration 
 speech in which he said "We have nothing to fear, 
 but fear itself."
1950 Walt Disney’s "Cinderella" was released across the U.S.
1952 U.S. President Harry Truman dedicated the "Courier," 
 the first seagoing radio broadcasting station.
1952 Ronald Reagan and Nancy Davis were married.
1954 In Boston, Peter Bent Brigham Hospital reported the first 
 successful kidney transplant.
1975 Queen Elizabeth knighted Charlie Chaplin.
1994 Bosnia's Croats and Moslems signed an agreement to form a 
 federation in a loose economic union with Croatia.
1997 U.S. President Clinton barred federal spending on human cloning.
1998 Microsoft repaired software that apparently allowed hackers to 
 shut down computers in government and university offices nationwide.
1998 The U.S. Supreme Court said that federal law banned 
 on-the-job sexual harassment even when both parties are 
 the same sex.
1999 Monica Lewinsky's book about her affair with U.S. President 
 Clinton went on sale in the U.S.
2002 Canada banned human embryo cloning but permitted 
 government-funded scientists to use embryos left over from 
 fertility treatment or abortions.
2014  smiled.

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