Choose Laser or inkjet printers? 

Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, April 5.

Have FUN!

Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Bimbo bragged on Facebook about using "Buzz Killer" to beat probation mandated alcohol test. Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1998 The Akashi Kaikyo Bridge in Japan opened becoming the largest suspension bridge in the world. It links Shikoku and Honshu. The bridge cost about $3.8 billion. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Absolute faith corrupts as absolutely as absolute power. --- Eric Hoffer (1902 - 1983)
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There's a little fellow named Junior who hangs out at the local grocery store. The manager doesn't know what Junior's problem is, but the boys like to tease him. The boys say he is two bricks short of a load, or two pickles shy of a barrel. To prove it, sometimes the boys offer Junior his choice between a nickel and a dime. He always takes the nickel, they say, because it's bigger. One day after Junior grabbed the nickel, the store manager got him off to one side and said, "Junior, those boys are making fun of you. They think you don't know the dime is worth more than the nickel. Are you grabbing the nickel because it's bigger, or what?" Junior said, "No sir, you see, if I took the dime, they'd quit doing it and giving me free nickels!"
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Bush and Powell are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell?" The barman says "Yep, thats them." So the guy walks over and says, "Hello, what are you guys doing?" Bush answers, "We're planning World War III." The guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?" Then Powell replies, "Well, we're going to kill 22 million Iranians this time and one big busted bicycle repair lady in Seattle." And the guy exclaimed, "Why a bicycle repair lady?!!!" So Powell turns to Bush and says, " See, I told you no-one would worry about the 22 million Iranians!"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Colleen Cudney, 22, Michigan Michigan woman bragged online about breaching her DUI probation A Michigan woman could be heading to jail this week after allegedly bragging on Facebook about beating a random breathalyzer test. Colleen Cudney, 22, is not allowed to drink as a condition of her probation for a 2012 drunken driving conviction, and was called in for the test after St. Patrick's Day, according to Local 4 News. She passed the test, then boasted on Facebook about her "achievement." "Buzz killer for me, I had to breathalyze this morning and I drank yesterday but I passed thank god lol," she allegedly posted in a status update that eventually got the attention of law enforcement. Cudney was called in for another test -- a urine test, which could detect the consumption of alcohol from up to 80 hours previously -- but reportedly hung up, another probation violation. She's due in court on Tuesday and is facing 93 days in jail. Tech Support Pits From: Rosemary Re: Inkjet or laser printer Dear Webby, At what point should one buy a laser printer instead of an inkjet printer? Rosemary Dear Rosemary When you can afford a Laser printer. The cheapest Laser is better than the most expensive inkjet. Lasers have really come down in price, especially Black and White ones. Sure, you get free some inkjets for subscribing to kitchen or make-up magazines, but they really get you with the ink and the automatic renewal on those magazines. Resist the temptation and get a laser printer. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Dress Up Box For kids who like to dress up you can fill up a box of dress up items from a thrift shop. Also add some accessories from the dollar store. You can also find Halloween reduced costumes in stores. For a boy a plastic tool box with a handle would be great for his items. Use your imagination for decorating the boxes. By coville123 Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
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No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A big executive boarded a New York to Chicago train. He explained to the porter, "I'm a heavy sleeper, but I want you to be sure and wake me up at 3:00 am for the stop in Buffalo. I don't care what I say, you just make sure I get off in Buffalo." The next morning the executive woke up in Chicago. He was furious. He found the porter and really gave him an earful before hustling off to purchase a return ticket. After he left, a co-worker said to the porter, "How can you stand there and let that passenger abuse you like that?" "That's nothing," said the porter. "You should have heard the guy whom I chucked out into the rain in Buffalo!"
Abe is a new arrival at a retirement community, and is passing the morning sunning himself on a bench near the garden. Becky is out for her morning constitutional, spies Abe, and says "Do you mind?" "Not at all" Abe says, so Becky sits down on the opposite end of his bench. "So, you're new here" says Becky. "Yes" Abe nods. "So, where are you from?" asks Becky. "Washington" Abe answers. "The state or the capitol?" asks Becky. "The state" replies Abe. "So how old are you ? asks Becky. "I'll be 62 in October.". Abe replies "What did you do in Washington?" asks Becky. "I was in prison" Abe says. "Really!" says Becky, "what did you do?" "My wife was always asking stupid questions, so I chopped her up and put her down the garbage disposal" he says. "Sooo," purrs Becky, "you're single?"

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Today in 
1242 Russian troops repelled an invasion attempt by the 
 Teutonic Knights.
1614 American Indian Pocahontas married English colonist 
 John Rolfe in Virginia.
1621 The Mayflower sailed from Plymouth, MA, on a return 
 trip to England.
1806 Isaac Quintard patented the cider mill.
1843 Queen Victoria proclaimed Hong Kong to be a British 
 crown colony.
1908 The Japanese Army reached the Yalu River as the 
 Russians retreated.
1923 Firestone Tire and Rubber Company began the first 
 regular production of balloon tires.
1930 Mahatma Ghandi defied British law by making salt in India.
1941 German commandos secured docks along the Danube River in 
 preparation for Germany’s invasion of the Balkans.
1951 Americans Julius and Ethel Rosenberg were sentenced to death 
 for committing espionage for the Soviet Union.
1955 Winston Churchill resigned as British prime minister.
1986 A discotheque in Berlin was bombed by Libyan terrorists. 
 The U.S. attacked Libya with warplanes in retaliation on 
 April 15, 1986.
1998 The Akashi Kaikyo Bridge in Japan opened becoming the 
 largest suspension bridge in the world. It links Shikoku 
 and Honshu. The bridge cost about $3.8 billion.
1999 Two Libyans suspected of bombing a Pan Am jet in 1988 
 were handed over so they could be flown to the Netherlands 
 for trial. 270 people were killed in the bombing.
2004 Near Mexico City's international airport, lightning 
 struck the jet Mexican President Vicente Fox was on.
2009 North Korea launched the Kwangmyongsong-2 rocket, 
 prompting an emergency meeting of the United Nations 
 Security Council. 
2014  smiled.

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