Strip mail 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Friday, May 9.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to Man who Killed Wife 4 Days After Marriage For Life Insurance Policy, Gets Life Behind Bars. Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1960 The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved for sale an oral birth-control pill for the first time.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
They can do all because they think they can. --- Virgil (70 BC - 19 BC) The unspoken word never does harm. --- Kossuth "Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber." --- Plato (427-347 B.C.)
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One of my co-workers got a speeding ticket and was attending a defensive-driving course to have points erased from her license. The instructor, a poice officer, emphasized that being on time was crucial and that the classroom doors would be locked when each session began. Just after one class started, someone knocked on the locked door. The officer opened it and asked, "Why are you late?" The student replied, "I was trying not to get another ticket." The officer let him in.
Here is a classic: *TENDJEWBERRYMUD* It's amazing; you will understand the above word by the end of the conversation. Read aloud for best results. "Tendjewberrymud." Be warned, you're going to find yourself talking "funny" for a while after reading this. Room Service (RS): "Morny. Ruin sorbees" Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service" RS: "Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??" G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs" RS: "Ow July den?" G: "What??" RS: "Ow July den?...pry, boy, pooch?" G : "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please." RS: "Ow July dee bayhcem...crease?" G: "Crisp will be fine." RS : "Hokay. An San tos?" G: "What?" RS:"San tos. July San tos?" G: "I don't think so" RS: "No? Judo one toes??" G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes' means." RS: "Toes! toes!...why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?" G: "English muffin! I've got it! You were saying ' Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine." RS: "We bother?" G: "No..just put the bother on the side." RS: "Wad?" G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side." RS: "Copy?" G: "Sorry?" RS: "Copy...tea...mill?" G: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all." RS: "One Minnie. As ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy....rye??" G: "Whatever you say" RS: "Tendjewberrymud" G : "You're welcome" ------------------- If you plan to overnight in Hongcouver (formerly Vancouver, BC) then you better study Chinglish beforehand, so as to avoid embrrassing mitt-eggs, ahem mistakes.
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Thanks to Dianne for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version It is called Orchis Italica, or The Naked Man Orchid. So funny, they come in all sorts of shapes and, umm? sizes.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Michel Escoto, 42, Miami, Floriduh Man who Killed Wife 4 Days After Marriage For Life Insurance Policy, Gets Life Behind Bars. A South Florida man was sentenced to life in prison Wednesday for killing his wife of four days to collect a $1 million life insurance policy. A Miami-Dade County judge sentenced Michel Escoto, 42, after a jury convicted him last month of first-degree murder. Escoto was newly married to Wendy Trapaga, 21, when he strangled and beat her to death in October 2002, prosecutors said. Escoto initially tried to drug Trapaga during their Key West honeymoon and make her death look like an accidental drowning, but Trapaga complained her drink was too chalky. He tried to drown her again several days later in a Jacuzzi at Miami's Executive Airport Motel, but he couldn't get her to stay under water. He finally beat her to death with a tire iron outside a warehouse later that night, prosecutors said. The lead witness against Escoto was his ex-girlfriend, Yolanda Cerrillo. With immunity from prosecution, Cerrillo told jurors she helped Escoto plan the murder, ground up the prescription painkillers to knock Trapaga out and even practiced with Escoto how to drown the young woman. She also admitted driving Escoto away from the crime scene and taking him to dispose of the tire iron in Biscayne Bay. Escoto initially told detectives that he and Trapaga got into an argument the night she was killed. He said they left the motel, and she dropped him off at their South Beach apartment before driving off. But homicide detectives were immediately suspicious of his apparently forced grief and the insurance policy. Escoto eventually filed a lawsuit to collect the money but gave conflicting versions of what happened during the 2005 trial. The conflicting details led to his arrest, and he has remained in jail since then. Escoto represented himself during his murder trial. At one point, the judge found him in contempt of court for threatening a witness on the stand and gave him an extra 30 days in jail for that. Tech Support Pits From: Eleanor Re: Stripmail ? Dear Webby A friend told me you had a program to strip the >>>> from forwarded eails. What is the URL please and thank you? Eleanor Dear Eleanor Just go to my toolbox at http://webby.com/tools Scroll down a bit till you see the stop sign with the AOL flag (>>>) on it. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Evicting Carpenter Bees from your Home I am sharing this to hopefully help someone else out. I came up with this on my own after reading a lot about this problem. These bees had returned outside my home about 16 feet in the air, in a large mass in a small 1/4 inch X 2 foot long gap, going into the trimming on my large house, that is in good shape. They came back every year from about April to September. I had tried several things that didn't work. This is what has worked for me and has kept them away. Get a bottle of De-Solv-it (at Wal-Mart or Ace Hardware), and DAPtex Plus Multi-Purpose Foam Sealant (shoots with a straw that comes with it). At almost dark, or night with a flashlight - shoot De-Solv-it in the holes. It is greasy like WD40, and most importantly, is in a citrus solution that insects hate. Seal the holes with DAP through the straw, then spray De-Solv-it all over the outside. GENTLY wipe the excess of DAP off, taking only what's on the outside. The Dap on the inside is going to expand and get hard. Don't waste your $ on anything else but this DAP Product I've described, as this one is easy clean up afterwards. It is the only one I've found where you can rinse out the straw and spray nozzle with warm water, and reuse. Good Luck! By joey53Hop [1] Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A friend asked a gentleman why he never married? Replied the gentleman, "Well, I guess I just never met the right woman... I guess I've been looking for the perfect girl." "Oh, come on now," said the friend, "Surely you have met at least one girl that you wanted to marry." "Yes, there was a girl... once. I guess she was the one perfect girl; the only perfect girl I really ever met. She was just the right everything... I really mean that she was the perfect girl for me." "Well, why didn't you marry her," asked the friend. "She was looking for the perfect man."
Bobby asked his baby sitter for help in getting his boots on. He asked for help and she could see why. With her pulling and him pushing, the boots still didn't want to go on. When the second boot was on, she had already worked up a sweat. She almost whimpered when my son said, "wrong feet!" She looked and sure enough, they were on the wrong feet. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on -- this time on the right feet. He then announced, "These aren't my boots." She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to. Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off. He then said, "They're my cousin's boots. My Mom said I have to wear them, because mine leak." She didn't know if she should laugh or cry. She mustered up the grace to wrestle the boots on his feet again. She said, "Now, where are your mittens?" He said, "I stuffed them in my boots."

» Quick Stuff

Today in 
1429 Joan of Arc defeated the besieging English at Orleans.
1502 Christopher Columbus left Spain for his final trip to 
 the Western Hemisphere.
1671 Thomas "Captain" Blood stole the crown jewels from 
 the Tower of London.
1785 Joseph Bramah patented the beer-pump handle.
1825 The Chatham Theatre opened in New York City. It was 
 the first gas-lit theater in America.
1915 German and French forces fought the Battle of Artois.
1926 Americans Richard Byrd and Floyd Bennett became the 
 first men to fly an airplane over the North Pole.
1936 Fascist Italy took Addis Abba and annexed Ethiopia.
1941 The German submarine U-110 was captured at sea by 
 Britain's Royal navy.
1945 U.S. officials announced that the midnight 
 entertainment curfew was being lifted immediately.
1946 King Victor Emmanuel II of Italy abdicated and 
 was replaced by Umberto.
1955 West Germany joined NATO.
1960 The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved for 
 sale an oral birth-control pill for the first time.
1962 A laser beam was successfully bounced off Moon for the 
 first time.
1978 The bullet-riddled body of former Italian Prime Minister 
 Aldo Moro was found in an automobile in the center of Rome. 
 The Red Brigades had abducted him.
1980 A Liberian freighter hit the Sunshine Skyway Bridge 
 over Tampa Bay in Florida. 35 motorists were killed and 
 a 1,400-foot section of the bridge collapsed.
1994 Nelson Mandela was chosen to be South Africa's first 
 black president.
1996 In video testimony to a courtroom in Little Rock, AR, 
 U.S. President Clinton insisted that he had nothing to 
 do with a $300,000 loan in the criminal case against 
 his former Whitewater partners.
2002 In Bethlehem, West Bank, a deal was reached that would 
 end the 38-day standoff at the Church of the Nativity. 
 Thirteen suspected militants were to be deported to 
 several different countries. The standoff had begun on 
 April 2, 2002.
2002 In Kaspiisk, Russia, 39 people were killed and at least 
 130 were injurde when a remote-controlled bomb exploded 
 during a holiday parade.
2002 In Bahrain, people were allowed to vote for 
 representatives for the first time in nearly 30 years. 
 Women were allowed to vote for the first time in the 
 country's history
2014  smiled.


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