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Today is Sunday, June 8.


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to an Burglary Suspect's Mom Arrested For Punching Deputy Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1998 Honda agreed to pay $17.1 million for disconnecting anti-pollution devices in 1.6 million cars.
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Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute. --- Josh Billings (1818 - 1885) Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach a man to create an artificial shortage of fish and he will eat steak. --- Jay Leno
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A little boy returning home from school said to his mother, "Mom, what's sex?" His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects of the tricky subject. When she had finished, the little lad produced an enrollment form which he had brought home from school and said, "Yes, but how am I going to get all that into this one little square?"
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A judge was instructing the jury that a witness was not necessarily to be regarded as untruthful because he changed his statement after he gave it to the police. "For example," he said, "when I entered my chambers today, I was positive that I had my gold watch in my pocket. But then I remembered that I left in on my nightstand in my bedroom." When the judge returned home that evening, his wife asked him "Why so much urgency for your watch? Isn't sending three men to pick it up for you a bit extreme?" "What?" said the judge, "I didn't send anyone for my watch, let alone three people. What did you do?" "I gave it to the first one," said the wife, "he knew exactly where it was."
Thanks to dad for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version These survved the winter outside and bloomed today.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Sanqusia Johnson, Burglary Suspect's Mom Arrested For Punching Deputy The mother of a teenage burglary suspect is behind bars herself after allegedly punching a sheriff's sergeant who was trying to charge her son. The Saturday night incident began when sheriff's deputies in Pinal County, Arizona saw three teens walking and recognized two as possible suspects in several recent residential burglaries, AzStarNet.com reports. The deputies took suspects Jesse Samano, 16, and Kenneth Mosley, 17, into custody for questioning. Samano was questioned with his mother present and admitted to committing the burglaries with Mosley, police claim. He was released to the custody of his mother and faces burglary charges. Mosley was about to be question when his mother, Sanqusia Johnson, 37, arrived with her boyfriend, Genaire Roberts, 42, at the Arizona City substation. Investigators say Johnson was confrontational with officers when her son was being questioned and that she had to be restrained. When a supervisor tried to walk her away from her son, she allegedly struck the deputy in the face with her hand, Roberts then allegedly grabbed on to Johnson to prevent her from being handcuffed, AzCentral.com reports. Both Roberts and Johnson were taken into custody. Johnson was booked into the Pinal County Jail on charges of aggravated assault on a law enforcement officer, disorderly conduct and obstruction of a governmental operation, KPHO.com reports. Roberts was cited and released for obstruction of a governmental operation. According to Pinal County Sherrif Paul Babeu, Roberts allegedly told a deputy that when Johnson "acts like that at home he just leaves until she calms down,” according to AzStarNet.com. Moseley was referred to juvenile court on the burglary charges. Tech Support Pits From: Robert & Loretta Re: Gmail censorship Dear Webby When I receive your humor letter It tells me that this message could be a scam and also there is no place to vote like I do for Ophelia Please help if you can!! Robert&Loretta Dear Robert & Loretta That is the Gmail malfunction, that I have written about. Just make a filter. When you have a filter in place to Never put the Humor letter into Spam, and to mark it as Important, then the sniveling ninnies usually won't sabotage it. You can use the Subject line, which always starts with Humor: or the FROM line, which is always humor@webby.com It is sad, that Gmail has been taken over by North Korean censors, and I can no longer recommend it. Right now I am hoping that Protonmail from CERN gets out of BETA soon and becomes available to everybody. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Dishwater in Garden I keep a large empty bucket by the floor near my kitchen sink. As I rinse off my dishes, I collect the water in a container in the sink (I use an empty large sized yogurt container). then I pour the water I collect into the bucket until it is full. I use this to water all of my potted plants in the garden. If there is left over water, I use it to water my flowers and veggies. This not only saves many gallons of water, but the soap residue in the water seems to cut down on bugs that attack my plants. I have almost no insects in my organic garden. It has also cut down on my water bill which used to be considerable. By Lois from Cleveland, OH All water from the kitchen sink can be used in the garden. Unless you are renting in an apartent, you can easily enough undo the "U" trap under the sink, and connect it to a pipe or hose through the wall and to your rain barrel. Gray water is fertilizer and bug repellant, not just already paid for water. In winter,when you don't water the garden, reconnect the "U". Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Thanks to Dianne for this literary masterpiece: (don't think of it as blasphemy, but as literary art) CARSTIANITY "Haul a Yugo. Haul a Yugo." Gearly beloved, we are Blazered here in the name of our Four-door, who art in Half-ton. I'm speaking of our lord and Mazda, Jeep-sus Chrysler. He is the Alfa and the Romeo. He was born in a Ranger, he was Tempo'd by the DeVille, and he Daihatsu'd for your Sentras. He said, "Dodge not, that ye not be Dodged. Thou shalt not Corvette thy neighbor's Whitewall, but turn the other Cherokee. If ye have Fiat, ye can move Montecarlos. He ain't Chevy, he's my Beretta." He ate the Last Supra, and he climbed the mount of Cavalier, where they Cruise-controlled him on the Motocross. But God, in his Infiniti Mercedes, did Rolls away the Stanza. Let us Prelude: Sayeth the prophet Isuzu, in the Dusenburg Bible, In the 23rd Saab, "The Ford is my Chauffeur. I shall not Walk. He Lexus me in the paths of Right-turn-signals. Yea, though I walk through the Valet of the Shadow of Dart, I shall Fiero no Eagle. Subaru Goodwrench and Mercury shall Volvo me Audi Daytonas of my life, and I shall Dwellmeter house of Delorean, Four-cylinder." Gloria, In Ex-Celica Geo! GM
A woman suspects her husband is cheating on her. One day, she dials her home and a strange woman answers. The woman says, " Who is this?" "This is the maid," answered the woman. "We don't have a maid," said the woman. The maid says, "I was hired this morning by the man of the house." The woman says, "Well, this is his wife. Is he there?" The maid replied, "He is upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I figured was his wife." The woman is fuming. she says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?" The maid says, "What will I have to do?" The woman tells her, "I want you to get my gun from the desk, and shoot the jerk and the witch he's with." The maid puts the phone down; the woman hears footsteps and the gun shots. The maid comes back to the phone, "What do I do with the bodies?" The woman says, "Throw them in the swimming pool." Puzzled, the maid answers, "But there's no pool here." A long pause Finally the woman says, "Is this 555-4821?"

» Durer's Magic Square

Today in 
0452 Italy was invaded by Attila the Hun.
0793 The Vikings raided the Northumbrian coast of England.
1786 In New York City, commercially manufactured ice cream 
 was advertised for the first time.
1790 The first loan for the U.S. was repaid. The Temporary 
 Loan of 1789 was negotiated and secured on September 18, 
 1789 by Alexander Hamilton.
1866 Prussia annexed the region of Holstein.
1869 Ives W. McGaffey received a U.S. patent for the 
 suction vacuum cleaner.
1872 The penny postcard was authorized by the U.S. Congress.
1904 U.S. Marines landed in Tangiers, Morocco, to protect 
 U.S. citizens.
1915 U.S. Secretary of State William Jennings Bryan resigned 
 in a disagreement over U.S. handling of the sinking of the 
 Lusitania.
1953 The U.S. Supreme Court outlawed segregated restaurants 
 in Washington, DC.
1965 U.S. troops in South Vietnam were given orders to 
 begin fighting offensively.
1967 Israeli airplanes attacked the USS Liberty in the 
 Mediterranean during the 6-Day War between Israel and 
 its Arab neighbors. 34 U.S. Navy crewmen were killed. 
 Israel later called the incident a tragic mistake due 
 to the mis-identification of the ship. The U.S. has 
 never publicly investigated the incident.
1969 U.S. President Richard Nixon met with President 
 Thieu of South Vietnam to tell him 25,000 U.S. troops 
 would pull out by August.
1978 A jury in Clark County, Nevada, ruled that the 
 "Mormon will," was a forgery. The work was supposedly 
 written by Howard Hughes.
1987 Fawn Hill began testifying in the Iran-Contra 
 hearings. She said that she had helped to shred some 
 documents.
1991 A victory parade was held in Washington, DC, to 
 honor veterans of the Persian Gulf War.
1994 The warring factions in Bosnia agreed to a one-month 
 cease-fire.
1995 U.S. Air Force pilot Captain Scott O'Grady was 
 rescued by U.S. Marines after surviving alone in Bosnia 
 after his F-16 fighter was shot down on June 2.
1996 China set off an underground nuclear test blast.
1998 Honda agreed to pay $17.1 million for disconnecting 
 anti-pollution devices in 1.6 million cars.
1998 The space shuttle Discovery pulled away from Mir, 
 ending America's three-year partnership with Russia.
2004 Nate Olive and Sarah Jones began the first known 
continuous hike of the 1,800-mile trail down the U.S. 
 Pacific Coast. They completed the trek at the U.S.-Mexico 
 border on September 28.
2014  smiled.


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