Telus malfunction 

Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, June 14.

Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a New Hampshire woman busted for prostitution at town library Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1990 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld police checkpoints that are used to examine drivers for signs of intoxication. South Dakota.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
"Negotiating with Obama is like playing chess with a pigeon…. the pigeon knocks over all the pieces, shits on the board and then struts around like it won the game." --- Vladimir Putin
Vipre Security 2014 for the whole family! (Opens in a new tab, you don't lose this page)
Doctor!" said the woman as she loudly bounced into the room, "I want you to tell me very frankly what's wrong with me." He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you." "First, you need to lose at least twenty pounds. Second, you should use about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist - the doctor's office is on the next floor."
Fix, Clean & Speed Up your PC! Boost Computer Speed Delete Junk Files & Clean Up Windows® Wipe Private Data & Internet Logs

Blue-haired old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me "You're next!" They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
Click on the picture for the large version Wedding near Oregon wildfire
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Brittany Macintyre, 20, Tewksbury, New Hampshire Busted for prostitution at town library Earlier this week a New Hampshire woman was arrested for offering sex for cash at a suburban Massachusetts library. On Tuesday, police in Tewksbury got a tip that there was a woman working as a prostitute out of the town library. An undercover cop went to check it out that evening. He said that within moments of entering, Brittany Macintyre, 20, approached him with a pad and pen, and the two began passing notes. (You know, because it's the library and you should respect people's peace and quiet while engaging in your illicit transaction.) Eventually, according to police, Macintyre offered to perform a sex act on the cop in exchange for $60. She was arrested on charges of prostitution. Police say she was also wanted on drug charges. Back on Valentine’s Day, Macintyre was arrested for illegal possession of cocaine and heroin in Methuen. Tech Support Pits From: Dianne Re: Telus malfunction Dear Webby Humor letter didn't arrive again. I finally managed to get a stuporvisor at Telus. They want you to re-send the Humor Letter. Dianne. ----------- ReSent ----------- Re-send it again, please. ----------- ReSent ----------- Re-send it again, please. ----------- They sure got some nerve! OK, ReSent ----------- Finally got it, after they turned their spam control off. Aparently the word "Casino" in "How to get rid of Desert Nights Casino" triggered their censorship. ----------- DUH! On whose side are they on anyway? ----------- I had requested that they turn their silly spam control OFF but some nitwit turned it on again. For now it is off. ----------- Glad that is solved! Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Never Mix Cleaners or Household Chemicals For the fourth time in less than a year, I have responded to a med call where someone mixed household chemicals. Never, ever, in any form or combination, mix bleach with any other chemical. Do not mix vinegar with any other chemical. Do not mix ammonia with any other chemical. This includes general cleaning, in your mop water, in the dishwasher and washing machine. It can actually kill humans and pets. By mom-from-missouri [178] Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

When an express train to London made an unscheduled stop at Reading, the philosopher, C.E.M. Joad, climbed aboard. "You¹ve got to get off sir," the guard told him, "this train doesn¹t stop here." Replied Joad, "In that case, don't worry. If it didn't stop here, I didn't get on it."
Asked by his third-grade teacher to spell "straight." The boy did so correctly. "Now," said the teacher, "what does it mean?" "Without water."

» Axes of the Ages

Today in 
1777 The Continental Congress in Philadelphia adopted the 
 "Stars and Stripes" as the national flag of the United States. 
1789 Captain William Bligh of the HMS Bounty arrived in 
 Timor in a small boat.
1834 Cyrus Hall McCormick received a patent for his 
 reaping machine.
1834 Isaac Fischer Jr. patented sandpaper.
1841 The first Canadian parliament opened in Kingston.
1846 A group of U.S. settlers in Sonoma proclaimed 
 the Republic of California.
1900 Hawaii became a U.S. territory.
1907 Women in Norway won the right to vote.
1917 General John Pershing arrived in Paris during WW I.
1919 The first non-stop trans-Atlantic flight began. Captain 
 John Alcot and Lt. Arthur Brown flew from Newfoundland 
 to Ireland.
1927 Nicaraguan President Adolfo Diaz signed a treaty with 
 the U.S. allowing American intervention in his country.
1940 The Nazis opened their concentration camp at Auschwitz 
 in German-occupied Poland.
1940 German troops entered Paris. As Paris became occupied 
 loud speakers announced the implementation of a curfew 
 being imposed for 8 p.m.
1943 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that schoolchildren could 
 not be made to salute the U.S. flag if doing so conflicted 
 with their religious beliefs.
1944 Sixty U.S. B-29 Superfortresses attacked an iron and steel 
 works factory on Honshu Island. It was the first U.S. raid 
 against mainland Japan.
1945 Burma was liberated by Britain.
1949 The state of Vietnam was formed.
1951 "Univac I" was unveiled. It was a computer designed for 
 the U.S. Census Bureau and billed as the world's first 
 commercial computer.
1952 The Nautilus was dedicated. It was the first nuclear 
 powered submarine.
1954 U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower signed an order adding 
 the words "under God" to the Pledge of Allegiance.
1954 Americans took part in the first nation-wide civil defense 
 test against atomic attack.
1965 A military triumvirate took control in Saigon, South Vietnam.
1967 Mariner 5 was launched from Cape Kennedy, FL. The space 
 probe's flight took it past Venus.
1982 Argentine forces surrendered to British troops on the 
 Falkland Islands.
1989 Former U.S. President Reagan received an honorary 
 knighthood from Britain's Queen Elizabeth II.
1990 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld police checkpoints that 
are used to examine drivers for signs of intoxication. 
2014  smiled.

[ view entry ] ( 12 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 338 )

<<First <Back | 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 | 61 | 62 | Next> Last>>