Sir Squirrel 

Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, June 19.

My first cataract operation is over. Now my good eye
is great at distances of 30 feet or further, but of no
help at the computer. The left eye has a focus at 12 inches,
which is a bit too close for comfort. However, the biggest 
hassle is that the focus is shifted sideways. When closing
one eye, then the other, a street light appears to jump
not only 100 feet closer, but to the nearer side of the 

Working with that is only possible by putting some paper
over the fixed eye, which right now is not much good at 
less than 30 feet anyway, and work with just the weak left 

I'll take the paper out tomorrow and go for a 3 - 4 mile walk
and hope to train the focus onto the same side of the 

Have FUN!

Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Indiana bonehead leads Police on 2 hour tractor chase Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 2000 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that a group prayer led by students at public-school football games violated the 1st Amendment's principle that called for the separation of church and state.
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Times have not become more violent. They have just become more televised. --- Marilyn Manson (1969 - ),
Vipre Security 2014 for the whole family! (Opens in a new tab, you don't lose this page)
A woman walking down a residential street, noticed a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. She called out to him as she passed. "Hello there! I couldn't help but notice how happy you look. What's your secret for a long happy life?" "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he replied. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat nothing but fast food, and never exercise." "Wow!" The woman was amazed. "How old are you?" she asked. "Twenty-six," he replied.
Fix, Clean & Speed Up your PC! Boost Computer Speed Delete Junk Files & Clean Up Windows® Wipe Private Data & Internet Logs

Two confirmed bachelors are talking and their conversation drifts from politics to cooking. "I got a cookbook last Christmas," says the first, "but I could never do anything with it." "Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?" asks the second. "You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way, 'Take a clean dish and ...'"
>From Dianne Click on the picture for the large version Swallow hoovering bugs
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Dustin D. Clouse, 20, Decatur, Indiana Indiana bonehead leads Police on 2 hour tractor chase An Indiana man led police on a slow-speed, 2 hour tractor chase that crossed the state line. Monday evening in Decatur, Indiana, 20-year-old Dustin D. Clouse allegedly tried evading police who were responding to a vandalism call, WISH-TV reported. With only a tractor as his getaway vehicle, Clouse managed to reach a whopping top speed of 18 miles per hour, police said. Police said Clouse refused to pull over, despite driving over stop sticks which caused his tires to go flat. Clouse allegedly tried swerving into a deputy and attempted to ram multiple patrol cars, according to WANE. Video captured by a witness shows Clouse cruising down a rural road, police in front and behind him in pursuit. Two hours later, Clouse's tractor malfunctioned after crossing the state line into Ohio. Police said they had to eventually use a Taser to take the suspect into custody. They really suspected him, “This was an unusual pursuit, we are happy that no one from the public, Mr. Clouse, or law enforcement was injured,” Mercer County Sheriff Jeff Grey told WANE. “Law enforcement agencies from both states worked well together to bring this to a safe conclusion.” Clouse was charged with a felony for fleeing and eluding law enforcement, according to Indiana News Center. It is not likely that it was his tractor. Otherwise he wouod not have driven over the stop-sticks and disks. Those tires are rather expensive! Once they add all the interstate charges for taking a stolen vehicle across state borders, it is going to work out to some serious time on the chain gang. He is no Duke of Hazard! Tech Support Pits From: Sir Squirrel Re: Gmail's Red Banner Fetish Here is what Sir Squirrel wrote about that Red Banner Fetish: ============== Webby, I admit to being lazy. That is why I have a remedy that takes hardly a second to do. At the bottom of the red strip at the top of your humor letter, the second sentence sez, " Ignore, I trust this message, I Just left click on this but once and all the pictures and the two 'vote now' buttons will appear; right where Webby put them in his humor letter. Kind friend, it works every time for me! Have fun and a good day! ~Sir Squirrel~ ============== Just do the same as what Sir Squirrel suggested. I can't word it any better. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Premeasure Pancake Mix For Camping Whenever we head to our camper, I always make a couple batches of homemade, dry pancake mix in a ziplock. I will also write on a small piece of paper the wet ingredients needed to finish the pancake batter inside the ziplock, so I know exactly what extra ingredients I will need come breakfast time. I never use mix from a box and already having the dry ingredients waiting for me saves me time in the morning, when I have to feed my hungry crew. Source: I thought of this myself as I am not a morning person and needed something to help me get breakfast on the table faster and easier when camping. By LisaE from WI Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A salesman of many years is tired of his job and gives it up to become a policeman. One day, while he's walking his beat, he meets an old friend who asks him how he likes his new work. "Well," says the salesman-turned-cop, "the pay is good and the hours aren't bad. But what I like best is that the customer is always wrong."
Groan Alert! A priest is out golfing one day. He is halfway down the first fairway, waiting to hit his second shot, when he hears the familiar, "Fore!" Immediately, a ball slams into his back. The golfer who hit the ball rushes up to him and recognizes him. "Father, I'm terribly sorry. The ball just got away from me." "That's all right, my son," the priest says. "I'm not hurt." "Thank goodness, Father!" the man exclaims. The two shake hands and the man says, "You know, Father, I've been playing this game for 40 years, and now I can tell my friends that I've hit my first holy one!"
A scout for one of the leading colleges went to the office of the athletic director and announced, "Have I got an athlete for you! This guy can play every sport and excels at every position. He is absolutely the finest athlete I have ever seen play." The athletic director was very impressed but had to ask the question, "But how is he scholastically?" The scout replied, "He makes straight "A"s in every subject. However, I must tell you his "B"s are a little crooked."

» Square-Riggers

Today in 
0240 BC Eratosthenes estimated the circumference of the 
 Earth using two sticks.
1821 The Ottomans defeated the Greeks at the 
 Battle of Dragasani.
1864 The USS Kearsarge sank the CSS Alabama off of 
 Cherbourg, France.
1865 The emancipation of slaves was proclaimed in Texas.
1903 The young school teacher, Benito Mussolini, was 
 placed under investigation by police in Bern, Switzerland.
1911 In Pennsylvania, the first motion-picture censorship 
 board was established.
1912 The U.S. government established the 8-hour work day.
1917 During World War I, King George V ordered the British 
 royal family to dispense with German titles 
 and surnames.
1933 France granted Leon Trotsky political asylum.
1937 The town of Bilbao, Spain, fell to the Nationalist forces.
1939 In Atlanta, GA, legislation was enacted that 
 disallowed pinball machines in the city.
1942 Norma Jeane Mortenson (Marilyn Monroe) and her 
 21-year-old neighbor Jimmy Dougherty were married. They 
 were divorced in June of 1946.
1942 British Prime Minister Winston Churchill arrived in 
 Washington, DC, to discuss the invasion of North Africa 
 with U.S. President Roosevelt.
1943 Henry Kissinger became a naturalized US citizen.
1944 The U.S. won the battle of the Philippine Sea 
 against the Imperial Japanese fleet.
1958 In Washington, DC, nine entertainers refused to 
 answer a congressional committee's questions on communism.
1961 Kuwait regained complete independence from Britain.
1965 Air Marshall Nguyen Cao Ky became South Vietnam's 
 youngest premier at age 34.
1968 50,000 people marched on Washington, DC. to support 
 the Poor People's Campaign.
1973 Gordie Howe left the NHL to join his sons Mark and Marty in the 
 WHA (World Hockey League).
1981 The European Space Agency sent two satellites into orbit 
 from Kourou, French Guiana.
1983 Lixian-nian was chosen to be China's first president 
 since 1969.
1998 Gateway was fined more than $400,000 for illegally 
 shipping personal computers to 16 countries subject 
 to U.S. export controls.
1998 A study released said that smoking more than doubles 
 risks of developing dementia and Alzheimer's.
1998 Switzerland's three largest banks offered $600 million 
 to settle claims they'd stolen the assets of Holocaust 
 victims during World War II. Jewish leaders called the 
 offer insultingly low.
2000 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that a group prayer led by 
 students at public-school football games violated the 1st 
 Amendment's principle that called for the separation of 
 church and state.
2014  smiled.

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