Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, June 23.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a
California man jailed for running a meth lab 
in a retirement home
Details at Boneheads

From the History section at the bottom:
Today, in 
1966 Civil Rights marchers in Mississippi were dispersed 
 by tear gas.




If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!





Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea 
that life is serious.
--- Brendan Gill  

'Tis an ill wind that blows no minds.
--- Malaclypse the Younger

A wise man gets more use from his enemies 
than a fool from his friends.
--- Baltasar Gracian  

The conventional view serves to protect us 
from the painful job of thinking.
--- John Kenneth Galbraith (1908 - 2006) 



Vipre Security 2014 for the whole family! 
(Opens in a new tab, so that you don't lose this page)

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be 
made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes 
large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? 
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get 
 intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to 
 his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A: Premature death.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? e.g.abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the 
Borax and the abominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; 
the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominal cavity
contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
A: The Caesarean Section is the red light district in the Vatican

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.


Fix, Clean & Speed Up your PC!
Boost Computer Speed
Delete Junk Files & Clean Up Windows®
Wipe Private Data & Internet Logs

>From Missy
Planning a weekend of entertaining guests, I made a list of
things I needed to do, including taking food out of the
freezer and  grocery shopping.

As it happened, a friend whom I had been promising to take
to lunch asked if we could make it that Friday.

So, hopping into the car, I taped my "to do" list to the
dashboard and went and picked her up.

As she settled into the car, her face dropped.

"Thanks a lot!" she sulked.

Then I glanced at my list and saw the first item:
"Take out the Turkey."


>From Nanarina


Click on the picture for the large version

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!




An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Robert Short, 64, Fresno, California

Jailed for running a meth lab in a retirement home

A 64-year-old man in Fresno, California, has been arrested 
for running a meth lab out of a retirement home.

Fresno Police made the discovery Saturday after pulling over 
Robert Short, who was on parole on charges connected to 
selling methamphetamine.

When officers checked his car, they say they found four ounces 
of crystal meth, along with small plastic bags and electronic 
scales, KMPH-TV reports.

Officers then searched the suspect's home in a retirement 
village and found more meth, heroin and a small meth lab. 
All in all, the officers recovered a half pound of crystal 
meth with an estimated street value of $1,700, according 
to the Fresno Bee.

Short's neighbors were shocked to find out they may have been 
living next door to a real-life episode of "Breaking Bad."
"It's shocking, I would never guess that anything like that would 
go on at a senior citizen village," neighbor Robin Schramek 
told ABC30.com.

Neighbors said that Short moved in about three or four months 
ago, but didn't get involved in the tight-knit community. ABC30.com 
reports that there were signs all over his front door demanding 
privacy and no visitors.

Short was booked into the Fresno County Jail for charges including 
transportation of narcotics, possession for sale of narcotics and 
processing methamphetamine near a school campus.


The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
Tech Support Pits
From: Billie
Re: How to blur

Dear Webby
With my old camera I used to be able to have the prime object
nice and sharp and everything else a bit blurred by precisely
setting the distance. With my new camera everything is auto-
matic and I can't set the distance. Is there a way to fake the
same results?
Billie

Dear Billie
With some digital cameras you can half depress the shutter
button and force it to take a reading. Then you can move the
camera and it will use that setting, when you fully depress
the shutter. However, that does not always blur what is not
in precise focus, especially with a small lens type camera
and bright lighting.

In the old days photographers smeared vaseline onto the lens
and cleaned the portion they wanted sharp with an alcohol
soaked swab. With a large lens camera you can still do that,
but I would not really advise it. The alcohol can affect the
coating on the lens.

It is a lot more precise and predictable to do the blurring
after you got the picture onto the computer. Any graphics
program like PaintShopPro or GIMP or Photoshop will do it 
nicely.

Use the retouching tool, set it to a round shape and a
hardness of about 50%. Select it to SOFTEN. Then wipe
it from the edges in towards the area that you want to
leave sharp and crisp.

You can also use the irregular shape election tool, lassoo
the sharp area, invert the selection, and then blur or soften
the entire selected area in one shot.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Toilet Scrubber for General Bathroom Cleaning
Toilet scrubbers are useful to clean far more than just 
toilets. Their bristles do well for scrubbing a tub or sink, 
especially when combined with a gritty cleanser like Comet. 
They do a nice job on mildew in grout crevices. 

If you're not comfortable using the same brush for toilets 
as well as sinks and baths, you can always get a cheap extra 
one for cleaning at a dollar store.

By Wispfox from Waltham, MA

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog



Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


An agriculture student said to a farmer: "Your methods are too old
fashioned. I won't be surprised if this tree will give you less than
twenty pounds of apples."

"I won't be surprised either," said the farmer, "From orange trees
like this, I expect about 220 pounds of oranges".


Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband
was resting next to me on the couch with his head in my lap.
I carefully removed his glasses. "You know, honey," I said
sweetly, "Without your glasses you look like the same
handsome young man I married."

"Honey," he replied with a grin, "Without my glasses, you
still look pretty good, too!"




» American Legends




Today in 
1683 William Penn signed a friendship treaty with 
 Lenni Lenape Indians in Pennsylvania.
1700 Russia gave up its Black Sea fleet as part of a truce 
 with the Ottoman Empire.
1758 British and Hanoverian armies defeated the French at 
 Krefeld in Germany.
1760 The Austrians defeated the Prussians at Landshut, Germany.
1757 Robert Clive defeated the Indians at Plassey and won 
 control of Bengal.
1836 The U.S. Congress approved the Deposit Act, which contained 
 a provision for turning over surplus federal revenue to the states.
1848 A bloody insurrection of workers in Paris erupted.
1860 The U.S. Secret Service was created to arrest counterfeiters.
1868 Christopher Latham Sholes received a patent for an invention 
 that he called a "Type-Writer."
1884 A Chinese Army defeated the French at Bacle, Indochina.
1902 Germany, Austria-Hungary, and Italy renewed the Triple Alliance 
 for a 12 year duration.
1904 The first American motorboat race got underway on the 
 Hudson River in New York.
1926 The first lip reading tournament in America was held in 
 Philadelphia, PA.
1931 Wiley Post and Harold Gatty took off from New York on the 
 first round-the-world flight in a single-engine plane.
1934 Italy gained the right to colonize Albania after defeating 
 the country.
1951 Soviet U.N. delegate Jacob Malik proposed cease-fire 
 discussions in the Korean War.
1952 The U.S. Air Force bombed power plants on Yalu River, Korea.
1956 Gamal Abdel Nasser was elected president of Egypt.
1966 Civil Rights marchers in Mississippi were dispersed by 
 tear gas.
1972 U.S. President Nixon and White House chief of staff 
 H.R. Haldeman discussed a plan to use the CIA to obstruct 
 the FBI's Watergate investigation.
2003 Apple Computer Inc. unveiled the new Power Mac desktop computer.
2013 In Arizona, aerialist Nik Wallenda completed a quarter mile 
 tightrope walk over the Little Colorado River Gorge. 
-------
I lost my cap down into that gorge about ten years ago, 
and decided not to climb down after it.
2014  smiled.

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