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Today is Thursday, July 17

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Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to A Florida husband who battered wife on Jet Ski Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1997 After 117 years, the Woolworth Corp. closed its last 400 stores.
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A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her. --- Wilde (1854 - 1900) Treat people as they are, and they will remain that way. Treat them as they can be and you help them become what they are capable of becoming. --- Goethe
Vipre Security 2014 for the whole family! (Opens in a new tab, so that you don't lose this page)
A couple had two little boys ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved. The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed but asked to see them individually. So the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon. The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?" They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide-eyed. So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God!!?" Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD!?" The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened? The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time, dude. God is missing - and they think WE did it!"
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My next-door neighbor and I frequently borrow things from each other. Not long ago, when I requested his ladder, he told me he had lent it to his son. Recalling a saying my grandmother used to repeat, I recited, "You should never lend anything to your kids, because you will never get it back." With that, he responded, "Tell you the truth, it's not even my ladder. It's my dad's."
Thanks to Bill for sending this picture! Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Michael Doster, 49 A Florida husband who battered wife on Jet Ski JULY 15--While out jet skiing Sunday afternoon, a married couple got into an argument that turned violent because the woman saw her husband and another male “involved in a sex act together,” according to investigators. The confrontation between Michael Doster, 49, and his spouse of two years resulted in Doster’s arrest for domestic battery. He was released from a Florida jail today after posting $5000 bond on the felony count. As detailed in a Manatee County Sheriff’s Office report, Doster and his wife Pamela were on a Sea-Doo jet ski near the Passage Key sandbar at the mouth of Tampa Bay when they began quarreling. Pamela, a deputy noted, brought up the fact that she “saw the defendant and another unknown male involved in a sex act together.” While not specifying when or where this alleged sex act occurred, the cop noted that Pamela reported it involved “giving each other a blow job.” Doster, who was driving the Sea-Doo, allegedly yanked his wife off the jet ski several times, according to the report. “During the last time she was pulled off she hit her head against the side of the jet ski” and refused to get back on the watercraft. Instead, she repaired to the sandbar “and refused to answer his call outs.” When Doster could not locate his wife, he called 911. Pamela, naked except for a life jacket, was subsequently found on the sandbar and transported to safety by rescue workers. A deputy noted that she had a “bruise/bump” on her head, a bruise on her biceps, and a “large swollen area to her left hip area.” She was transported to a local hospital for treatment. Both Doster and his wife were intoxicated, a deputy reported. Tech Support Pits From: Daniel Re: Javascript Dear Webby, do i need javascript if i have sun java installed already? thanks, daniel Dear Daniel You don't install Javascript. Javascript is on web pages, using the SUN Java that you already have installed. You can allow or disallow the use of javascript in your browser's Internet Options. If you don't allow it, a lot of pages won't work right. Javascript has been around for a long time. I used to build shopping carts with it a dozen years ago. Even today, most banking and shopping pages won't work right if you don't allow scripting. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Prescription Bottle Auto Air Freshener I had my husband drill several small holes in the lid. Then I stuffed cotton balls inside and poured scented oils in it. It doesn't leak. I put them in my vehicle to make it smell good. By michele [6] Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
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No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Thanks to Sandie for this story: A woman joined a health spa and on her first day, she eagerly joined in on an exercise class. However, when it ended, she went to the front desk and requested cancellation of her membership. When asked why, she replied, "Your floors are so low, I cannot touch my toes!"
Classic! A simple lesson illustrating the difference between the two parties. Fred Thompson and Hillary were walking down the street when they came to a homeless person. The Republican, Fred Thompson, gave the homeless person his business card and told him to come to his office for a job. He then took $20 out of his pocket and gave it to the homeless person. Hillary was very impressed, so when they came to another homeless person, she decided to help. She walked over to the homeless person and gave him directions to the welfare office. She then reached into Thompson's pocket and got out $20. She kept $19 for her administrative fees and gave the homeless person $1.

» Tricky Critters

Today in 
1212 The Moslems were crushed in the Spanish crusade.
1453 France defeated England at Castillon, France, which 
 ended the 100 Years' War.
1785 France limited the importation of goods from Britain.
1815 Napoleon Bonaparte surrendered to the British at 
 Rochefort, France.
1821 Spain ceded Florida to the U.S.
1866 Authorization was given to build a tunnel beneath the 
Chicago River. The three-year project cost $512,709.
1898 U.S. troops under General William R. Shafter took 
 Santiago de Cuba during the Spanish-American War.
1917 The British royal family adopted the Windsor name.
1941 Brigadier General Soervell directed Architect G. Edwin 
 Bergstrom to have basic plans and architectural perspectives 
 for an office building that could house 40,000 War Department 
 employees on his desk by the following Monday morning. The 
 building became known as the Pentagon.
1946 Chinese communists opened a drive against the Nationalist 
 army on the Yangtze River.
1955 Disneyland opened in Anaheim, CA.
1960 Francis Gary Powers pled guilty to spying charges in a 
 Moscow court after his U-2 spy plane was shot down over 
 the Soviet Union.
1966 Ho Chi Minh ordered a partial mobilization of North 
 Vietnam forces to defend against American air strikes.
1975 An Apollo spaceship docked with a Soyuz spacecraft 
 in orbit. It was the first link up between the U.S. and 
 Soviet Union.
1979 Nicaraguan President Anastasio Somoza resigned and 
 fled to Miami in exile. (Florida)
1986 The largest bankruptcy filing in U.S. history took 
 place when LTV Corporation asked for court protection 
 from more than 20,000 creditors. LTV Corp. had debts 
 in excess of $4 billion.
1997 After 117 years, the Woolworth Corp. closed its 
 last 400 stores.
1998 Biologists reported that they had deciphered the 
genome (genetic map) of the syphilis bacterium.
2014  smiled.


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