Age of the driver 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Saturday, July 26.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Florida man who was run over by his own truck during road rage Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1956 - Egyptian President Gamal Abdel Nasser nationalized the Suez Canal.
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At 18 our convictions are hills from which we look; At 45 they are caves in which we hide. --- F. Scott Fitzgerald (1896 - 1940)
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One of our patients wasn't taking any chances. Prior to her operation, she taped notes to her body for the surgeon... "Take your time," "Don't cut yourself," "No need to rush," "Wash your hands..." After surgery, as I helped the patient back into her bed, we discovered a new note taped to her, this one from the doctor, "Has anyone seen my wristwatch?"
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Police Reports The following are copies of ACTUAL written statements submitted to the police on report forms. (Or at least they claim to be ACTUAL statements. You be the judge.) The drivers were instructed to give a brief statement on the particulars of the accident in their own words. Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't know. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my Mother-in-law and headed over the embankment. The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in the bush with just his rear end showing. In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole. I had been driving my car for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and vanished. The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him. I saw the slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car. The guy was all over the road, I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian. I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the roadway when I struck him. My girlfriend kissed me. I lost control and woke up in the hospital. When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car. As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident. The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had fractured my skull. I thought I could squeeze between two trucks when my car became squashed.
Thanks to Bill for this picture Click on the picture for the large version Webby, Always enjoy the photo you put in your the humor newsletter. Here's one I took recently in the Biloxi (MS) Harbor, just behind a restaurant called McElroy's. Maybe you can use it. Bill
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Joseph Carl, 48, Gainesville, Florida Florida Man Run Over by Own Truck During Road Rage A man in Florida apparently got a dose of road rage karma when police say he was run over by his own pickup truck after getting out to bang on another driver's window. It happened Tuesday evening in Gainesville, Florida. The Gainesville Sun reports 48-year-old Joseph Carl had been drinking and drove into a vehicle stopped at a red light. He got out of his truck without putting it in park and began banging on the window of a woman's car. When the frightened woman drove away, there was nothing holding his truck in place. The truck rolled into Carl. A police report says he was taken to the hospital where he was treated for fractures in his hand and foot. He's charged with DUI and DUI property damage. It isn't known whether he's obtained a lawyer. Tech Support Pits From: Ruth Re: Bus driver's age Hi Webby, Hope you're faring well after your cataract surgeries, and in general. I truly enjoy the Humor Letter and look forward to the daily read. I think I missed something, or skimmed too fast one day. What IS the answer to the bus driver's age question? I saw the post with the names of those who figured it out, but then no more. thanks, Ruth Dear Ruth You are the driver. And you are 29, right? Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Glue Bait Down to Catch Chipmunks They will steal the food in the traps. I had success by using a hot glue gun to glue sunflower seeds to the cage or mousetrap. We have caught over 50 chipmunks in the past 2 months. It works great in the live cages. By Jimmy F. [1] Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
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No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

I love to read those advice columns in the newspaper. I saw one where they ask what is the worst thing you could receive on your twenty fifth wedding anniversary?" You know what the answer was? "Morning Sickness."
A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The office worker asked her, "How many children do you have?" "Ten," she replied. "What are their names?" he asked. "LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, and LeRoy," she answered. "They're all named LeRoy?" he asked "What if you want them to come in from playing outside?" "Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just call 'LeRoy,' and they all come running in." "And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?" "I just say, 'LeRoy, come eat your dinner'," she answered. "But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?" he asked. "Oh, that's easy," she said. "Then I just use their last name!"

» Dog Days of Summer: July 3 until August 11

Today in 
1775 - A postal system was established by the 2nd Continental 
 Congress of the United States. The first Postmaster General 
 was Benjamin Franklin.
1881 - Thomas Edison and Patrick Kenny execute a patent 
 application for a facsimile telegraph (U.S. Pat. 479,184).
1893 - Commercial production of the Addressograph started 
 in Chicago, IL.
1907 - The Chester was launched. It was the first 
 turbine-propelled ship.
1952 - King Farouk I of Egypt abdicated in the wake of a 
 coup led by Gamal Abdel Nasser.
1953 - Fidel Castro began his revolt against Fulgencio 
 Batista with an unsuccessful attack on an army barracks 
 in eastern Cuba. Castro eventually ousted Batista six 
 years later.
1956 - Egyptian President Gamal Abdel Nasser nationalized 
 the Suez Canal.
1971 - Apollo 15 was launched from Cape Kennedy, FL.
2014  smiled.


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