Positioning of computer 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Monday, August 4

46 Degrees (110 in Olde British Imperial Fahrenhide)
on the West side of the house. I skipped my walk
and mopped the floors instead. The last Chinook had
brought a lot of ash from the forest fires on the
other side of the rockies and some fine sand.
I have no idea where it picked up that sand, but it is
not good for the floors.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a New mexico naked man, who broke into home, had a nap Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1991 The Oceanos, a Greek luxury liner, sank off of South Africa's southeast coast. All of the 402 passengers and 179 crewmembers survived.
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Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better. --- Socratex In these matters the only certainty is that nothing is certain. --- Pliny the Elder (23 AD - 79 AD)
Vipre Security 2014 for the whole family! (Opens in a new tab, so that you don't lose this page)
Fred, an avid fisherman is returning from a fishing trip with six large size salmon in his creel. Nosy Parker comes along and asks if the man been fishing. "Yes!" replied old Fred. Asked what bait he had been using our hero replied that he had used chewing tobacco. Parker asked how one used chewing tobacco as bait, and Fred replied, "I put the tobacco on the hook in the normal way, cast in the normal way and when the fish strikes I haul back on the line to hook it. When the fish comes up to spit, I hit it on the head with the butt of my rod!
Fix, Clean & Speed Up your PC! Boost Computer Speed Delete Junk Files & Clean Up Windows® Wipe Private Data & Internet Logs

Thanks to Robert for this story: Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die. This is priceless, and so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today. A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February & March for their annual service charges on her credit card, & added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank here's the exchange: Family Member:"I am calling to tell you she died in January." Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees & charges still apply." Family Member: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections." Citibank: "Since it is 2 months past due, it already has been." Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?" Citibank: "Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!" Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?" (I really liked this part!!!!) Citibank: "Excuse me?" Family Member: "Did you just get what I was telling you the part about her being dead?" Citibank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor." (Duh!) (Supervisor gets on the phone): Family Member: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in January." Citibank: "The account was never closed, so the late fees and charges still apply." (This must be a phrase taught by the bank!) Family Member: "Do you mean you want to collect from her estate?" Citibank: (Stammering) "Are you her lawyer?" Family Member: "No, I'm her great nephew." Citibank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?" Family Member: "Sure." (fax number is given) After they get the fax: Citibank: "Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help." Family Member: "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I really don't think she will care." Citibank: "Well, the late fees & charges do still apply." (What is wrong with these people?!?) Family Member: "Would you like her new billing address?" Citibank: "Yes, that will help." Family Member: " Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69." Citibank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!" Family Member: "What do you do with dead people on your planet?
Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture: Click on the picture for the large version Triglav National Park near the town of Bovec, Slovenia
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Reported by Walter, the Stonecarver An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Freddy Shelby, 30, Albuquerque, NM Naked Man Breaks Into Home, Takes Nap A New Mexico man faces charges after authorities say a couple found him naked and sleeping in their bed. Investigators say 30-year-old Freddy Shelby of Albuquerque was arrested Sunday after the homeowners called police to report their unwanted mystery guest. According to a criminal complaint, Shelby broke into the couple's home through a window and grabbed a Sprite from the refrigerator before falling asleep in the master bedroom. Authorities say the homeowners found a disrobed Shelby in a deep sleep. Officers arrived and called to the man, but he slept through it. Authorities say Shelby woke up only after an officer ripped the blankets off him. Shelby told officers he thought he was at his girlfriend's house. He was charged with breaking and entering. Tech Support Pits From: Angela Re: Computer positioning Dear Webby, I have a question about the CPU unit of my desk top. I am rearranging my work/study area and was wondering if it is safe to lay the CPU down on its side and set my printer on top of it gain more space on my computer desk. I do not want to place it on the floor because I have too many animals living in my house and do not fully trust them all to behave with it on the floor. Angela Dear Angela The CPU doesn't care, and the hard drives don't care as long as you don't put it with the front side up or down. The most important consideration is good air flow behind it. Don't shove it into a desk hutch cubbyhole, no matter which way you turn it. Laying flat, with the removable side cover side up, is just fine. That is actually better than standing upright on the floor, where the main air intake at the front bottom sucks in all the dust bunnies and pet hairs off the floor and drastically reduces cooling. Yes, I know it's stupid, but they don't want computers to last forever. Try to lay it flat on the left rear corner of your desk, with the former bottom pointing away from you. That way it sucks fresh air from the left of the desk. Especially in summer, cooling of the computer is very important. While you are moving it, pop the side cover open and vacuum it out. If you are scared of large herds of dust bunnies, get somebody else to do it, but don't neglect that chore! Have FUN! DearWebby
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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Deodorant To Deter Nesting Birds We know that most birds are very sensitive to smell and odors, remember the old "canary in the coal mines" story? I have found that if you put up a "Stick-Up" deodorant disk in the corners of your patio, birds will attempt to visit the corner but they will quickly fly away. I replace them once each spring. Works especially well with nesting barn swallows! By Jeanette Jacobs [4] Canaries were used because they were cheap. When the Carbon monoxide or lack of Oxygen killed them in their cages on the floor, and they stopped chirping, then it was time to get out fast, "RFN" in Miner's lingo. They saved countless lives in the coal mines all over the world. Have Fun! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Thanks to Sandie for this story: I had purchased a talking metronome while I was attending a conference in New York for music teachers. Before my son and I boarded our flight home, I hefted my carry-on bag onto the security check conveyor belt. The guard's eyes widened as he watched the monitor. He asked what I had in the bag, then slowly pulled out the six-by-three-inch black box covered with dials and switches. Other travelers, sensing trouble, vacated the area. "A metronome," I replied weakly, as my son cringed in embarrassment. "It's a talking metronome," I insisted. "Look, I'll show you." I took the box and flipped a switch, realizing that I had no idea how it worked. "One, two, three, four," it said. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. As we gathered our belongings, my son whispered, "Aren't you glad it didn't go 'four, three, two, one'"?
The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place. Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she would write notes when she needed to communicate. After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and stuffed pillows on her right. A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left. Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again grabbed her, then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up. A nephew who arrived late came up to Grandma and said, "Hi, Grandma, you're Looking good! How are they treating you?" Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the nephew...... "Dumb Bastids won't let me fart!"

» Castles

Today in 
1735 Freedom of the press was established with an acquittal 
 of John Peter Zenger, a writer of the New York Weekly Journal 
 who had been charged with seditious libel by the royal 
 governor of New York. The jury said that "the truth is 
 not libelous." 
1753 George Washington became a Master Mason. 
1790 The Revenue Cutter Service was formed. This U.S. 
 naval task force was the beginning of the U.S. Coast Guard. 
1914 Britain declared war on Germany in World War I. The U.S. 
 proclaimed its neutrality. 
1944 Nazi police raided a house in Amsterdam and arrested 
 eight people. Anne Frank, a teenager at the time, was one 
 of the people arrested. Her diary would be published after 
 her death.
1954 The uranium rush began in Saskatchewan, Canada. 
1956 William Herz became the first person to race a motorcycle 
 over 200 miles per hour. He was clocked at 210 mph. 
1957 Florence Chadwick set a world record by swimming the 
 English Channel in 6 hours and 7 minutes. 
1958 The first potato flake plant was completed in Grand Forks, ND. 
1972 Arthur Bremer was found guilty of shooting George Wallace, 
 the governor of Alabama. Bremer was sentenced to 63 years in prison. 
1977 U.S. President Carter signed the measure that established 
 the Department of Energy. 
1984 Upper Volta, an African republic, changed its name to Burkina Faso. 
1987 The Fairness Doctrine was rescinded by the Federal 
 Communications Commission. The doctrine had required that radio and 
 TV stations present controversial issues in a balanced fashion. 
1990 The European Community imposed an embargo on oil from Iraq 
 and Kuwait. This was done to protest the Iraqi invasion of the 
 oil-rich Kuwait. 
1991 The Oceanos, a Greek luxury liner, sank off of South 
 Africa's southeast coast. All of the 402 passengers and 179 
 crewmembers survived. 
1997 Teamsters began a 15-day strike against UPS (United Parcel 
 Service). The strikers eventually won an increase in full-time 
 positions and defeated a proposed reorganization of the 
 company's pension plan. 
2009 North Korean leader Kim Jong-il pardoned two American 
 journalists, who had been arrested and imprisoned for illegal 
 entry earlier in the year. 
2014  smiled.


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