Good Morning,  !

Today is Tuesday, August 5

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to 
a Russian naked woman, who jumped out of a car, when police
wanted to check the driver, and ran down the street.
Details at Boneheads

From the History section at the bottom:
Today, in 
1986 It was revealed that artist Andrew Wyeth had secretly 
 created 240 drawings and paintings of his neighbor. The 
 works of Helga Testorf had been created over a 15-year 
 period. 




If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!





There is no reciprocity. 
Men love women, women love children, 
children love hamsters.
--- Alice Thomas Ellis

The average person thinks he isn't.
--- Father Larry Lorenzoni



Vipre Security 2014 for the whole family! 
(Opens in a new tab, so that you don't lose this page)

This week in Texas, a fire broke out in a warehouse   
destroying 2,000 pounds of marijuana. Officials say more than   
60 firefighters and 2,000 college students responded to the   
blaze.


Fix, Clean & Speed Up your PC!
Boost Computer Speed
Delete Junk Files & Clean Up Windows®
Wipe Private Data & Internet Logs

>From C
Not a joke, but well worth the space:
There was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a
terminal illness and had been given three months to live. So
as she was getting her things "in order," she contacted her
pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain
aspects of her final wishes. She told him which songs she
wanted sung at the service, what scriptures she would like
read, and what outfit she wanted to be buried in.

Everything was in order and the pastor was preparing to
leave when the young woman suddenly remembered something
very important to her. "There's one more thing," she said 
excitedly.

"What's that?" came the pastor's reply.

"This is very important," the young woman continued.
"I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand."

The pastor stood looking at the young woman, not knowing
quite what to say.
"That surprises you, doesn't it?" the young woman asked.

"Well, to be honest, I'm puzzled by the request," said 
the pastor.

The young woman explained. "My grandmother once told me
this story, and from there on out, I have always done so.
I have also, always tried to pass along its message to those
I love and those who are in need of encouragement."

"In all my years of attending church socials and potluck dinners,
I always remember that when the dishes of the main course
were being cleared, someone would inevitably lean over and say,
'Keep your fork.'
It was my favorite part because I knew that something better
was coming like velvety chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie.
Something wonderful, and with substance! So, I just want people
to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and I want
them to wonder "What's with the fork?"

Then I want you to tell them: "Keep your fork...the best is 
yet to come."

The pastor' s eyes welled up with tears of joy as he 
hugged the young woman good-bye.

He knew this would be one of the last times he would see her
before her death. But he also knew that the young woman had
a better grasp of heaven than he did. She had a better grasp
of what heaven would be like than many people twice her age,
with twice as much experience and knowledge.
She KNEW that something better was coming.

At the funeral people were walking by the young woman's casket
and they saw the pretty dress she was wearing and the fork
placed in her right hand. Over and over, the pastor heard the
question "What's with the fork?" And over and over he smiled.

During his message, the pastor told the people of the
conversation he had with the young woman shortly before she
died. He also told them about the fork and about what it
symbolized to her.

The pastor told the people how he could not stop thinking about
the fork and told them that they probably would not be able to
stop thinking about it either.


Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture:


Click on the picture for the large version
Chineese Waterfall

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!


Reported by Walter, the Stonecarver

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Russian Mugshot? Cute!
Yulia Vorokova, 24, Ufa, south-western Russia

Naked woman jumps out of car

Police were left standing after stopping a car in a routine 
check - and a naked woman jumped out and ran off down 
the road.

Two traffic officers stopped the car in Ufa, a city in 
south-western Russia, as part of a routine documents check.

As one officer walked to talk to the driver, the passenger 
door opened and a young woman, wearing only shoes and socks, 
leapt out and ran off into oncoming traffic.

Unable to follow as cars veered left and right, the police 
officers could only stand and watch in amazement as she 
then crossed over to the other side of the road and carried 
on down the busy street.

The woman, later identified as Yulia Vorokova, 24, was 
eventually caught by police and taken to hospital to undergo 
drugs and alcohol tests.

She also had slight bruising after apparently being hit by 
one of the cars although it was not going fast of the time.

The car's driver was questioned but eventually released 
without charge after police decided they were not sure 
exactly what to charge him with over the incident. He 
declined to say why the woman was naked.

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
Tech Support Pits
From: Frank
Re: Is FireFox 31 OK?

Dear Webby,
I've received notice that Firefox now has new version 31.0 
available for download.
You were not enthralled with some of the other versions.  
Do you have any feelings about the latest version or is it 
a 'wait and see' before downloading?
Peace
Frank

Dear Frank
I briefly checked 31. Very briefly.
For now I am going to use Chrome.

Sure, Chrome has some bugs too, like closing when ignored 
for a while, but you can get back all of your open tabs 
with CTRL SHIFT T.

I am still learning tricks, and not in any hurry to go 
back to FireFox. 
It seems that Firefox is suffering from terminal bloat. 
They definitely lost control of memory usage with their 
silly method of keeping the pages from open tabs in memory.

If you are quickly searching a bunch of pages for a certain
article or item, soon the memory used by FireFox, as seen in
the Windows Task Manager, goes over 1 GB and FireFox really
slows down. Then you have to axe and re-start FireFox.

Until they stop that nonsense, I am going to boycott FireFox.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Remember Passwords Easily
Choose a category that interests you; Premier League 
Footballers, Wild Flowers or whatever. Find a name for 
all of the more commonly used letters of the alphabet 
(Iris for I, Jasmine for J, etc). Your password for 
any given site will be the name that starts with the 
same initial letter, plus whatever combination of 
numbers or other characters you select. 

I have moved to this method since starting to do online 
surveys, and it makes it so easy to remember what my 
password is. If you do need a written key to the names 
that you picked, though - please don't store it on 
your desktop!

By Verity Pink [13] 

By far the best method for passwords is Roboform.
You can store thousands of passwords on the cloud.
Even if you lose your computer, all your passwords 
are safe. The only password you have to remember 
is your password to Roboform. 

When you go to a site, where you have to log in, 
Roboform presents you with the different user names, that
you have used on that site. You select one, and hit Submit.

Roboform lets you sync logins on different computers, for
example work, home, laptop, etc. If you change or add a 
login on one machine, the others will automatically sync.

You can get the basic version free at http://roboform.com

I have used it for about 15 years and it never let me down.
Have FUN!
DearWebby

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog



Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


>From Jack
When I picked up my wife from work one afternoon, she seemed   
irritated. She confessed that the day hadn't gone well, and   
on top of everything else, a young customer had addressed her   
as "ma'am."   

"I'm not that old," she insisted. "I deserve more respect!"   
She vented the whole way home while hitting the scan button   
on the radio.   

Finally I asked, "What are you looking for?"   

She replied, "The oldies station."   


On a family vacation one summer, we crossed Wyoming and noted   
several historical points of interest. The children were   
especially interested because they enjoyed the computer game   
"Oregon Trail," which gives players a taste of the hardships   
the pioneers endured. We stopped at the famous South Pass to   
look at the wagon tracks still visible in the dirt.   

Squinting out over the desolate, wind-swept landscape, my   
daughter nodded and said grimly, "This is where my oxen   
always die."   




» Gourmet Paper Mache




Today in 
1833 The village of Chicago was incorporated. The population 
 was approximately 250. 
1861 The U.S. federal government levied its first income tax. 
 The tax was 3% of all incomes over $800. The wartime measure 
 was rescinded in 1872. 
1914 Electric traffic lights were installed in Cleveland, Ohio. 
1921 The first play-by-play broadcast of a baseball game was 
 done by Harold Arlin. KDKA Radio in Pittsburgh, PA described 
 the action between the Pirates and Philadelphia. 
1944 Polish insurgents liberated a German labor camp in Warsaw. 
 348 Jewish prisoners were freed. 
1953 During the Korean conflict prisoners were exchanged at 
 Panmunjom. The exchange was labeled Operation Big Switch. 
1963 The Limited Test Ban Treaty was signed by the United 
 States, Britain, and the Soviet Union. The treaty banned 
 nuclear tests in space, underwater, and in the atmosphere. 
1964 U.S. aircraft bombed North Vietnam after North Vietnamese 
 boats attacked U.S. destroyers in the Gulf of Tonkin. 
1969 The Mariner 7, a U.S. space probe, passed by Mars. 
 Photographs and scientific data were sent back to Earth. 
1981 The U.S. federal government started firing striking 
 air traffic controllers. 
1986 It was revealed that artist Andrew Wyeth had secretly 
 created 240 drawings and paintings of his neighbor. The 
 works of Helga Testorf had been created over a 15-year 
 period. 
1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush angrily denounced the 
 Iraqi invasion of Kuwait. 
1991 An investigation was formally launched by Democratic 
 congressional leaders to find out if the release of American 
 hostages was delayed until after the Reagan-Bush presidential 
 election. 
1991 Iraq admitted to misleading U.N. inspectors about 
 secret biological weapons. 
1998 Iraqi President Saddam Hussein began not cooperating 
 with U.N. weapons inspectors. 
1998 Marie Noe of Philadelphia, PA was arrested and charged 
 with first-degree murder, accused of smothering eight of 
 her children to death between 1949 and 1968. Noe later 
 received 20 years' probation. 
2002 The U.S. closed its consulate in Karachi, Pakistan. 
 The consulate was closed after local authorities removed 
 large concrete blocks and reopened the road in front of 
 the building to normal traffic. 
2011 NASA announced that its Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter had 
 captured photographic evidence of possible liquid water on 
 Mars during warm seasons. 
2011 Juno was launched from Cape Canaveral Air Force Station 
 on a mission to Jupiter. It was the first solar-powered 
 spacecraft to go to Jupiter. Instrumentation and cameras 
 were solar powered, not propulsion.
2014  smiled.

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