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Today is Thursday, August 7

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Today's International Bonehead Award goes to Iowa man jailed for "accidentally" exposing himself through window beside parking lot Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1960 The Cuban Catholic Church condemned the rise of communism in Cuba. Fidel Castro then banned all religious TV and radio broadcasts.
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I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it. --- Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826) The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children. --- King Edward VIII Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye. --- Miss Piggy
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An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?" The father responded "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is." While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed a wrinkled up old lady shuffled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady walked between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24-year-old woman stepped out. The father turned to his son and said, "Go get your Mother."
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Wacky laws: Louisiana: It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol. Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple assault," while biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault." New Mexico: Females are strictly forbidden to appear unshaven in public. Oklahoma: Violators can be fined, arrested or jailed for making ugly faces at a dog. Pennsylvania: No man may purchase alcohol without written consent from his wife. A special cleaning ordinance bans housewives from hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling. Washington: All lollipops and guns are banned. A law to reduce crime states: "It is mandatory for a motorist with criminal intentions to stop at the city limits and telephone the chief of police as he is entering the town.
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Reported by Walter, the Stonecarver An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Dustin Hills, 35, Iowa City, Iowa Iowa man jailed for "accidentally" exposing himself through window beside parking lot In an apparent attempt to explain why a woman twice spotted him pleasuring himself in his apartment window, an Iowa man told cops that the indecent exposure was an accident, adding that he was “on an adult website at the time of the second incident.” Despite that explanation, Dustin Hills, 35, was arrested last night and booked into the Johnson County jail, where he remains locked up on a serious misdemeanor charge. A female victim told cops that, on two separate occasions last month, she was “outside in a parking lot” when she “noticed a man displaying his penis and pleasuring himself while standing in a nearby apartment window.” The man hid when she yelled at him, the woman reported. When questioned by investigators, Hills, seen in the mug shot, “admitted to accidentally displaying his erect penis to others outside” his Iowa City home, according to a criminal complaint. Hills added that he was “on an adult website” when the woman spotted him the second time. Tech Support Pits From: Noella Re: Did Chrome slow down? Dear Webby, It could be her ISP too. Remember I wrote about mine a few weeks ago. I'd done everything I could think of. Finally I called my ISP. I'd been paying for 12 mbps since November 2011, but when Repair checked, they found I was only getting 3 mpbs. They had to manually hook me up to a line that would handle the faster speed, plus I got a fairly nice refund. Noella Dear Noella Right! You can test your speed at Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Freeze Ground Coffee After trying various methods for storing the large canister of coffee (more thrifty), I settled on freezing it. I noticed the aroma from the un-brewed coffee deteriorated with all the other methods. This way, one doesn't get that sharp smell when opening the container. No need to thaw; just measure, brew, and enjoy! By Cay from Green Cove Springs, FL Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
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No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

My friend Don, a minor-league umpire, is used to being heckled by fans. But imagine his surprise when he was rushing to umpire an exhibition game at Coors Field in Denver. After a long search for a place to change clothes, Don finally located a room with a neatly lettered sign: "Dressing Room, Umpires Only." As he was about to go in, however, he inspected the sign more closely. Below the printed legend was the same message... written in Braille.
>From Ellen It was our second anniversary, and my husband sent me flowers at the office. He told the florist to write "Happy Anniversary, Year Number 2" on the card. I was thrilled with the flowers, but not so pleased about the card. It read "Happy Anniversary. You're Number 2."

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Today in 
1782 George Washington created the Order of the Purple Heart.
1888 Theophilus Van Kannel received a patent for the 
 revolving door. 
1914 Germany invaded France. 
1934 The U.S. Court of Appeals upheld a lower court ruling 
 striking down the government's attempt to ban the 
 controversial James Joyce novel "Ulysses." 
1942 U.S. forces landed at Guadalcanal, marking the start 
 of the first major allied offensive in the Pacific during 
 World War II. 
1947 The balsa wood raft Kon-Tiki, which had carried a 
 six-man crew 4,300 miles across the Pacific Ocean, crashed 
 into a reef in a Polynesian archipelago. 
1959 The U.S. launched Explorer 6, which sent back a picture 
 of the Earth. 
1960 The Cuban Catholic Church condemned the rise of 
 communism in Cuba. Fidel Castro then banned all religious 
 TV and radio broadcasts. 
1964 The U.S. Congress passed the Gulf of Tonkin resolution, 
 which gave President Johnson broad powers in dealing with 
 reported North Vietnamese attacks on U.S. forces. 
1974 French stuntman Philippe Petit walked a tightrope strung 
between the twin towers of New York's World Trade Center. 
1976 Scientists in Pasadena, CA, announced that the Viking 1
 spacecraft had found strong indications of possible life 
 on Mars. 
1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush ordered U.S. troops and 
 warplanes to Saudi Arabia to guard against a possible 
 invasion by Iraq. 
2003 In California, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced that he 
would run for the office of governor. 
2003 Stephen Geppi bought a 1963 G.I. Joe prototype for $200,000.
2014  smiled.

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