Can a spreadsheet be spread over two monitors? 

Good Morning,  !

Today is Saturday, August 9.

Have FUN!

Today's International Bonehead Award goes to an Oklahoma teacher, who turned up drunk and without pants Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1945 The U.S. dropped an atomic bomb on Nagasaki. The bombing came three days after the bombing of Hiroshima. About 74,000 people were killed. Japan surrendered August 14.
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That is the greatest fallacy, the wisdom of old men. They do not grow wise. They grow careful. --- Ernest Hemingway (1899 - 1961)
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A couple, both 60 years old, were celebrating their 40 years of marriage. During the celebration a fairy appeared! "Because you have been such a loving couple all those years, I would like to give you each one wish." The wife quickly chimed in, "I want to travel around the world." The fairy waved her wand and, POOF! She had the tickets in her hand. Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I'd like to have a wife 30 years younger than me." The fairy picked up her wand and, POOF! He was 90.
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Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying, "DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG!" posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor besides the cash register. He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" "Yep, that's him," he replied. The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?" "Because," the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him and bashing their teeth out on the counter."
Thanks to Nnanarina for sending this picture: Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Lorie Ann Hill, 49, in Wagoner, Oklahoma Oklahoma teacher, who turned up drunk and without pants Don't worry about forgetting your homework; this teacher forgot her pants, witnesses said. Oklahoma schoolteacher Lorie Ann Hill, 49, was allegedly spotted drunk and without pants on her first day of work at Wagoner High School Monday, Fox 23 reported. “She was found in a room kind of disoriented,” Police Chief Bob Haley told Tulsa World. “By the time we got there she was in a room and wearing shorts.” Hill was hired by the school this year for a special education position, according to the Muskogee Phoenix. She allegedly admitted to drinking vodka before coming to work, and was charged with public intoxication. Classes do not start in Wagoner until Thursday. Tech Support Pits From: Bree Re: Could a spreadsheet be stretched over two monitors? Dear Webby, My Excel spreadsheet is getting too wide for one monitor. Would it work if it is spread over two monitors? I have a real monitor on my desktop, not a laptop. Bree Dear Bree Yes, that works fine, as long as both monitors are the same size. If they are different sizes, the spreadsheet rows don't line up and will drive you nuts. Until you get a second monitor, try holding down CTRL and scrolling the mouse wheel to reduce the zoom. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Solar Lights For Indoor Lighting I would like to submit the following tip to your newsletters. Maybe it will help some folks! There was a recent tip in the Dollar Stretcher newsletter about using a solar yard lamp during a thunderstorm. I can take that one step further. When I lived with two roommates, we had little extra spending money. We were always looking for ways to save a buck or two. Electricity was one area where we thought we had done enough, but we were wrong! During a trip to a local hardware store to pick up some nails, we noticed that there were two types of solar yard lamps available - fixed (on a spike or stake), or hanging (from a hook, sometimes connected to a stake). We saw that it was only $20 for a three-pack of solar lamps (I've since seen four packs for the same price, on sale). We bought two packs of them and six of those pretty plant hangers that people sometimes use for their hanging plants (the ones that look like pretty shelf brackets, but with hooks). When we got home, we mounted the plant hangers over or next to four windows in our house and put the solar lamps on them. Then, we hung the other two on the house, next to the front and back doors. In the late afternoon or early evening, we would open up the blinds to allow the sunlight to "charge" the indoor lights. The outdoor lights took care of themselves. At night, we had free household lighting that would last until sunrise if we'd charged them long enough! We kept a piece of nice material in rooms that we needed to sleep in, in order to cover the lights when it was time to go to sleep. The day after we started doing this, we had a neighbor call us to let us know that we'd left both our porch lights on overnight. We asked if it had disturbed her. "No," she said, "I was just worried about your electric bill. Actually, I felt safer when I came home from work and they were on, because I could see to put my key into the lock!" "Well," said my roommate, "You'll feel safer every night then, because we're leaving them on from now on. In fact, we can't turn them off! They're solar lamps and the power is free!" I hope that this tip is useful to all of you and to your readers. Thanks, Miss Elisha Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
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No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Here is a delightful old classic: Many many years ago when I was twenty three, I got married to a widow who was pretty as could be. This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red. My father fell in love with her, and soon the two were wed. This made my dad my son-in-law And changed my very life. My daughter was my mother, For she was my father's wife. To complicate the matters worse, Although it brought me joy, I soon became the father Of a bouncing baby boy. My little baby then became A brother-in-law to dad. And so became my uncle, Though it made me very sad. For if he was my uncle, Then that also made him brother To the widow's grown-up daughter Who, of course, was my step-mother. Father's wife then had a son, Who kept them on the run. And he became my grandson, For he was my daughter's son. My wife is now my mother's mother And it makes me blue. Because, although she is my wife, She is my grandma too. If my wife is my grandmother, Then I am her grandchild. And every time I think of it, It simply drives me wild. For now I have become The strangest case you ever saw. As the husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa.
Another classic: By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where." "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant - an Air Force guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you." "No problem," the tired Marine assured him. "I'll take it." The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep?" asked the manager. "Never better." The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring, then?" "Nope, I shut him up in no time," said the Marine. "How'd you manage that?" asked the manager. "He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came into the room," the Marine explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me."

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Today in 
1678 American Indians sold the Bronx to Jonas Bronck for 
 400 beads. 
1790 The Columbia returned to Boston Harbor after a three 
 year voyage. It was the first ship to carry the American 
 flag around the world. 
1831 The first American steam locomotive began its first 
 trip between Schenectady and Albany, NY. 
1854 "Walden" was published by Henry David Thoreau. 
1859 The escalator was patented by Nathan Ames. 
1892 Thomas Edison received a patent for a two-way telegraph. 
1910 A.J. Fisher received a patent for the electric 
 washing machine. 
1930 Betty Boop had her beginning in "Dizzy Dishes" created 
 by Max Fleischer. 
1936 Jesse Owens won his fourth gold medal at the Berlin 
 Olympics. He was the first American to win four medals 
 in one Olympics. 
1942 Mohandas K. Gandhi was arrested Britain. He was not 
 released until 1944. 
1944 The Forest Service and Wartime Advertising Council 
 created "Smokey the Bear." 
1945 The U.S. dropped an atomic bomb on Nagasaki. 
 The bombing came three days after the bombing of Hiroshima. 
 About 74,000 people were killed. Japan surrendered August 14. 
1945 The first network television broadcast occurred in 
 Washington, DC. The program announced the bombing of 
 Nagasaki, Japan. 
1965 Singapore proclaimed its independence from the Malaysian 
1973 The U.S. Senate committee investigating the Watergate 
 affair filed suit against President Richard Nixon. 
1974 U.S. President Richard Nixon formally resigned. 
 Gerald R. Ford took his place, and became the 38th president 
 of the U.S. 
1975 The New Orleans Superdome as officially opened when the 
 Saints played the Houston Oilers in exhibition football. 
 The new Superdome cost $163 million to build. 
1988 Wayne Gretzky (Edmonton Oilers) was traded. The trade 
 was at Gretzky's request. He was sent to the Los Angeles Kings. 
1996 Boris Yeltsin was sworn in as president of Russia for 
 the second time. 
1999 Russian President Boris Yeltsin fired Prime Minister 
 Sergei Stepashin and his entire cabinet for the fourth 
 time in 17 months. 
2001 U.S. President George W. Bush announced he would 
 support federal funding for limited medical research 
 on embryonic stem cells. 
2004 Trump Hotel and Casion Resorts announced plans to 
 file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy.
2014  smiled.

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