Forwarding movies 

Good Morning,  !

Today is Thursday, August 14

Thank you, Nancy!

Have FUN!

Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a NC burglar caught draggiing safe through town Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1953 The whiffle ball was invented.
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You cannot make a man by standing a sheep on its hind legs. But by standing a flock of sheep in that position you can make a crowd of men. --- Max Beerbohm (1872 - 1956)
A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth. Turning to the man next to him, he said, "I forgot my teeth." The man said, "No problem." With that, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth. "Try these," he said. The speaker tried them. "Too loose," he said. The man then said, "I have another pair... try these." The speaker tried them and responded, "Too tight." The man was not taken back at all. He then said, "I have one more pair of false teeth... try them." The speaker said, "They fit perfectly." With that he ate his meal and gave his address. After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went over to thank the man who had helped him. "I want to thank you for coming to my aid. Where is your office? I've been looking for a good dentist." The man replied, "I'm not a dentist. I'm the local undertaker."
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Amy and Jamie are Old Friends. They have both been married to their husbands for a long time. Amy is upset because she thinks her husband doesn't find her attractive anymore. "As I get older he doesn't bother to look at me!" Amy cries. "I'm so sorry for you, as I get older my husband says I get more beautiful every day." replies Jamie. "Yes, but your husband's an antique dealer!"
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Reported by Helen An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Ryan James Mullins, 22, Swansboro, NC Burglar caught dragging safe behind truck A Swansboro man is accused of stealing a safe from a drug store during an early-morning break-in. Police say 22-year-old Ryan James Mullins was dragging the safe when he was caught Tuesday. He's charged with safecracking, breaking and entering, larceny after breaking and entering, possession of stolen goods, trafficking of opium or heroin and several traffic violations. Officers responding to an alarm say they found Mullins driving down a road towing the safe. The safe in the incident was about 8 feet tall and about 2 feet deep and was used to hold medications, according to Public Safety Chief Bob Ritchie. It's believed that Mullins was trying to get controlled substances from the safe. That must have woken up half of Swansboro! Remember the sound of students dragging dumpsters filled with drunk youngsters around town during spring break celebrations? That safe must have made a similar racket. Tech Support Pits From: Jim Re: Forwarding movies Good morning, Dude! Another question for you. Ophelia sometimes has these video clips that I would like to copy to send to friends but I have had no luck figuring out how. Help!? Thanks're the greatest! Jim Dear Jim Why not just send them the URL to her newsletter or her Blog archive? Even if you manage to save them and get them to work on your machine, which can be very tricky, it is a big gamble whether they will work on your buddy's machine. In her blog scroll to the bottom of THAT day, and click on the tiny PERMA-LINK link. That gives you a URL, that goes straight to that day, even if it is from years ago. With any luck your buddy will sign up and make her day. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Blanket Curtain Without Sewing This blanket was the perfect size, color, and price to cover my closet. But my sewing machine is in storage so... I got 10 binder clips and a package of shower curtain rings from the dollar store, and made them work. Now that I have done this, I can advise you to use something just a bit thinner for the rings. I couldn't get them through, but one of the loops to click them. So anything would work; bigger key rings, etc. Looks nice, huh? Total cost: $2.95. N-JOY! By Sandi/Poor But Proud [397] Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

SCIENCE: BREAD IS DANGEROUS 1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users. 2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread- consuming households score below average on standardized tests. 3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations. 4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread. 5. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat, begged for bread after as little as two days. 6. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cream cheese. 7. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey, bread-pudding person. 8. Newborn babies can choke on bread. 9. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 450 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than two minutes. 10. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless AlGorian statistical babbling.
A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale sucking in his stomach. Thinking he was trying to weigh less with this maneuver, she commented, "I don't think that's going to help" "Sure it does, " he says, "it's the only way I can see the numbers."

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Today in 
1248 The rebuilding of the Cologne Cathedral in Cologne, 
 Germany, began after being destroyed by fire. 
1805 A peace treaty between the U.S. and Tunis was signed 
 on board the USS Constitution. 
1848 The Oregon Territory was established. 
1880 The Cologne Cathedral in Cologne, Germany was completed 
 after 632 years of rebuilding. 
1888 A patent for the electric meter was granted to Oliver 
 B. Shallenberger. 
1896 Gold was discovered in Canada's Yukon Territory. Within 
 the next year more than 30,000 people rushed to the area 
 to look for gold. 
1900 An international force, consisting of eight nations, 
 lifted the siege of Peking. It was the end to the Boxer 
 Rebellion, which was aimed at purging China of foreigners. 
1917 China declared war on Germany and Austria during 
 World War I. 
1919 About 1 million tons of ice and rock broke off of a 
 glacier near Mont Blanc, France. Nine people were killed 
 in the incident. 
1935 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed the 
 Social Security Act into law. The act created unemployment 
 insurance and pension plans for the elderly. 
1936 The first basketball competition was held at the 
 Olympic Games in Berlin, Germany. The U.S. defeated 
 Canada, 19-8. 
1941 The U.S. Congress appropriated the funds to construct 
 the Pentagon (approximately $83 million). The building 
 was the new home of the U.S. War Department. 
1944 The federal government allowed the manufacture of 
 certain domestic appliances to resume on a limited basis. 
1945 It was announced by U.S. President Truman that Japan 
 had surrendered unconditionally. The surrender ended 
 World War II. 
1947 Pakistan became independent from British rule. 
1953 The whiffle ball was invented. 
1962 A U.S. mail truck was held up in Plymouth, MA. The 
 robbers got away with more that $1.5 million dollars. 
1969 British troops arrived in Northern Ireland to 
 intervene in sectarian violence between Protestants 
 and Roman Catholics. 
1973 The U.S. bombing of Cambodia ended. The halt marked 
 the official end to 12 years of combat in Indochina 
 by the U.S. 
1976 A charity softball game began for the Community General 
 Hospital in Monticello, NY. The game was eventually called 
 off due to weather after 30 hours. The final score was 
 Gager's Diner's 491 to Bend 'n Elbow Tavern's 467. 
1980 People for Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) was 
1992 The U.S. announced that emergency airlifts of food 
 to Somalia would begin. The action was being taken to 
 stop mass deaths due to starvation. 
1995 Shannon Faulkner became the first female cadet in the 
 history of The Citadel, South Carolina's state military 
 college. She quit the school less than a week later. 
2000 Valujet was ordered to pay $11 million in fines and 
 restitution for hazardous waste violations in the crash 
 that killed 110 people in 1996.
2014  smiled.

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