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Today is Saturday,  August 23

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Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a LA-Area Police Officer Arrested For Soliciting Las Vegas Undercover Cop Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1999 Robert Bogucki was rescued after getting lost in the Great Sandy Desert of Australia on July 11. During the 43 day ordeal Bogucki lost 44 pounds.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
There is no failure except in no longer trying. --- Elbert Hubbard
A young woman was suffering badly from hay fever. She was going to a fancy dinner party that night and figured she would need at least two handkerchiefs to get her through the evening. She didn't have any pockets, so she stuffed them both in her bra. Halfway through the night, she had already used up one handkerchief and was rummaging around in her bra for the other one. She was having trouble finding it, and soon she noticed that everyone at the table was looking at her. "What on earth are you doing?" asked one of her colleagues. She replied, "I could have sworn I had two when I arrived!"
A property manager of single-family residence was showing a unit to prospective tenants and asking the usual questions. "Professionally employed?" he asked. "We're a military family," the wife answered. "Children?" "Oh, yes, ages nine and twelve," she answered proudly. "Animals?" "Oh, no," she said earnestly. "They're very well behaved."
Thanks to Jean for sending this:

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Michael Johnson, 18, LA-Area Police Officer Arrested For Soliciting Las Vegas Undercover Cop A Southern California police officer has been charged with soliciting a prostitute after being caught in a sting involving an undercover cop in a Las Vegas casino. Vahak Mardikian, 48, of the Glendale Police Department, was arrested Aug. 8, after allegedly spending an hour chatting up a woman posing as a prostitute in the Flamingo Casino. When the suspect asked the undercover officer if she was a cop, she said no, according to the Las Vegas Review-Journal. Mardikian said he wasn’t an officer either. According to the arrest report, Mardikian and the undercover officer made plans to go to the woman's apartment for anal sex in exchange for $250 and gas money. The two agreed to meet separately at the woman's car in a parking garage to avoid suspicion, reports. Shortly after the suspect gave the undercover officer money for gas, he was arrested by nearby undercover detectives, police said. Mardikian was booked at the Clark County Detention Center on one count of soliciting prostitution, the Las Vegas Sun reports. This isn't Mardikian's first bout with controversy. He was demoted within the Glendale Police Dept. in 2012 for allegedly pressuring and harassing other officers, but was reinstated to his rank in 2013, according to the Glendale News-Press. ------------------- Somebody should tell him that "What happens in Las Vegas, stays in Las Vegas", the slogan that fuelled all the lights and glitter and the expansion of Las Vegas, is history. All the Millions of chambermaids, cooks, waitresses, and casino employees and their families are mostly quite religious new immigrants, and they vote. Prostitution is illegal in Las Vegas since the late 80's. Las Vegas is a town of churches and church goers, and City Hall promotes Family Fun, not what made it famous. Tech Support Pits From: Mary Re: Famous fonts Dear Webby I heard somebody is giving away famous fonts like CocaCola and Harry Potter and Starwars, etc. A fontaholic like me NEEDS those. Where can I get them? Thanks Mary Dear Mary Here is the link to Famous Fonts. They are all free. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Waterproof Address Labels To waterproof address labels, just rub a candle over the text. You will also save on sellotape. By Monique [98] With almost all mail going via the Internet nowadays, the only addressing I need is for packages and very rarely an envelope. Usually I just hand write it with a medium tipped black Mark-All. About the only times I actually print labels is for jars and containers. Since my printer is a Laser printer, the labels are waterproof anyway. Lasers use toner, which is colored wax, that is melted into the paper. Water just runs off it, and may dissolve areas, that are not printed, but printed areas are protected. Only if you use one of those short lived, expensive to use inkjet printers, would you need a candle to fake the waxy sheen of laser printing. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Two fellows stopped into an English pub for a drink. They called the proprietor over and asked him to settle an argu- ment. "Are there two pints in a quart or four?" asked one. "There be two pints in a quart," confirmed the proprietor. They moved back along the bar and soon the barmaid asked for their order. "Two pints please, miss, and the bartender offered to buy them for us." The barmaid doubted that her boss would be so generous, so one of the fellows called out to the proprietor at the other end of the bar, "You did say two pints, didn't you?" "That's right," he called back, "two pints."
Wife: "I'm going to try something new this summer with the dog and kids." Husband: "What's that?" Wife: "I'm sending the dog to camp and the kids to obedience school."

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Today in 
1839 Hong Kong was taken by the British in a war with China. 
1892 The printed streetcar transfer was patented by Stedman.
1904 Hard D. Weed patented the grip-tread tire chain for cars. 
1914 Tsingtao, China, was bombarded as Japan declared war on 
 Germany in World War I. 
1939 Nazi Germany and the Soviet Union signed a 
 non-aggression treaty. 
1944 During World War II, Romanian prime minister Ion Antonescue 
 was dismissed. Soon after the country would abandon the Axis 
 and join the Allies, since they were now obviously winning. 
1944 Marseilles was captured by Allied troops during World War II. 
1952 The security pact of the Arab League went into effect. 
1959 In the Peanuts comic strip, Sally debuted as an infant. 
1962 The first live TV program was relayed between the U.S. and 
 Europe through the U.S. Telstar satellite. 
1982 The parliament of Lebanon elected Bashir Bemayel president. 
 He was assassinated three weeks later. 
1993 It was confirmed by Los Angeles police that Michael Jackson 
 was the subject of a criminal investigation. 
1996 U.S. President Clinton imposed limits on peddling cigarettes 
 to children. 
1998 Protestors in Sudan carried a sign that bore the resemblance 
 of Monica Lewinsky and the words "No War for Monika." The anti-U.S. 
 demonstration was in Khartoum, Sudan. 
1998 Boris Yeltsin dismissed the Russian government again. 
1999 Rescuers in Turkey found a young boy that had been buried 
 in rubble from an earthquake for about a week. 
1999 Robert Bogucki was rescued after getting lost in the Great 
 Sandy Desert of Australia on July 11. During the 43 day ordeal 
 Bogucki lost 44 pounds. 
2000 Richard Hatch was revealed as the winning castaway on CBS' 
 "Survivor." Hatch won $1,000,000 for his stay on the island of 
 Pulau Tida in the South China Sea. 
2014  smiled.

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