Camera for boat trip 

Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday,  August 24

Tuesday, Aug 26, I will have to go to Calgary for more
injections into my eyeballs. That means no newsletters
for 2-3 days afterwards.

Obama's Food Police: No more pink cookies

Have FUN!

Today's International Bonehead Award goes to an Oklahoma teacher caught in a hotel room with a student. Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1932 Amelia Earhart became the first woman to fly across the U.S. non-stop. The trip from Los Angeles, CA to Newark, NJ, took about 19 hours.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) An important trip in life is meeting people half way. --- Socratex
A very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night. Waiting for her date as she was, she wanted to make sure everything was perfect. So, as she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter walks up. Sitting up straight, embarrassed and red faced, sure that everyone in the place heard her, she turns to the waiter and demands, "Stop that!" The waiter looks at her dryly and says, "Sure lady, which way did you fire it ?"
Thanks to Irene for this story: For our 20th anniversary my husband and I vacationed in Hawaii, where we went snorkeling. After an hour in the water, everyone got back on the boat, except for me and one handsome young man. As I continued my underwater exploring, I noticed that everywhere I swam, he swam. I snorkeled for another 40 minutes. So did he. I felt very flattered and, as I took off my fins, asked him coyly why he had stayed in the water for so long. "I'm the lifeguard," he replied matter-of-factly. "I couldn't get out until you did."
Thanks to Jean for sending this: Sverd-i-fjell-Norwqay

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jennifer Caswell, 28, Hollis, Oklahoma Teacher Charged With Rape After Being Found With Teen In Hotel An Oklahoma teacher who was under investigation for an inappropriate relationship with a student faces a slew of charges -- including second-degree rape -- after police in Mississippi say they caught her in a hotel room with a 15-year-old student. Jennifer Caswell, a 28-year-old former English teacher at Hollis Middle School in Hollis, Oklahoma, resigned from her position in April amid allegations that she was having an illicit affair with a student. Prosecutors told the Oklahoman that initially, they didn't really have hard evidence in the case, only reports of suspicious behavior. “Things that raised kind of an eyebrow. People seeing a teacher alone with a child may or may not be anything. It could just be innocent contact,” Harmon County Assistant District Attorney Eric Yarborough told the newspaper. “The child said nothing’s going on, she’s just a nice teacher.” But then, on June 18, police in Olive Branch, Mississippi, say they caught Caswell with the boy at a Best Western. Authorities say a subsequent investigation revealed that the former teacher and the victim had sex multiple times in April and May of this year, including twice at school, according to the Lawton Constitution. In a police interview, the minor allegedly said that Caswell had sex with him in a classroom at school three days before resigning from her job, and then again several times in her car and at the victim's home in the weeks following her resignation. The Mississippi incident happened more than 650 miles away from her home town while he was away visiting his mother. The victim told police that he hopped a fence in a church parking lot to meet Caswell, who appears to have traveled from Oklahoma to rendezvous with the boy. Caswell now faces three counts of second-degree rape, two counts of enticing a child, and one count of forcible sodomy. According to the Oklahoman, Caswell had been married prior to the investigation into the alleged sex abuse. She was formerly known as Jennifer Sexton, but since obtaining a divorce from her husband, has restored her maiden name of Caswell. -------------- I wonder if the "child" considered himself a victim or a beneficiary. In my day, that was strictly beneficiary. Tech Support Pits From: Maria Re: Camera for boat trip Dear Webby What camera would you recommend for a long canoe trip? I don't really want to risk my big Canon, but want to be sure I get reasonably good pictures. Thanks Maria Dear Maria Just get a stack of regular disposable cameras, not the expensive underwater type or the flash type, just the cheap ones you see at gas stations and drug stores and supermarkets. They float, and immersion in water does not seem to bother them one bit. The only drawback I found with them is that they do tend to easily slip out of a shirt pocket and go for a dive whenever you lean over the side of the canoe to retrieve a beverage from the cooler net, or if you get a bit wild with the paddling in a rapid. It's not a real problem, you just wait after the rapids for the camera to catch up, and fish it out. They float a lot slower than a good canoe, so if you temporarily lose one, don't paddle like a maniac trying to catch up with it. It is behind you and will eventually catch up with you, if you simply wait for it. Cameras with a flash and batteries probably won't do so well in the water, but with the plain regular ones I have never had a problem. The pictures are more than good enough for scanning and using on the net. Try not to mix brands, though. They all use different color temperatures. Kodak has a yellow cast, Fuji a green and Agfa a blue cast. If a whole series of pictures has the same cast, the eye compensates for it, but if they are mixed, they look odd and amateurish, and you need to adjust the hue in a graphics program. Decide on one brand, and stick with it. If somebody tells you that you can't get them any more, because your gas station forgot to order them for the summer, go online! Disposable cameras from $2.95 and up Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Removing Old Ink Stains From Clothing To get ink out of a white shirt or blouse that has already set in the dryer, try this. Place an old towel between the shirt so stain will not go through. Spray hair spray on all the ink spots. Do NOT blot spots. Wash in warm water with laundry detergent. Check again to make sure all stains are out before putting the item in the dryer By Mythi from WA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A local priest and pastor stood by the side of the road holding up a sign that said, "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!" They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car. "Leave us alone you religious nuts!" yelled the first driver as he sped by. From around the curve they heard a big splash. "Do you think," said one clergy to the other, "we should just put up a sign that says 'bridge out' instead?"
THREE BAD NUNS There were these three nuns and they were tired of being good all of the time, so they went to the priest and asked if they could be bad for one day. He said that they could do one thing wrong but they had to come straight back and tell him what they did. The first nun comes back. "What did you do wrong, Sister?" "I mooned the rabbi next door, and nearly gave him a heart attack." "Very well, go drink holy water." The Second nun comes back shortly afterwards. "And what did you do wrong, Sister" he asks again. "I spiked the fruit punch at the bingo ." "OK, go drink holy water." Just then the third nun comes up to the priest and again he asks, "And what did you do wrong, Sister." "I peed in the holy water."

» Nuts

Today in 
0079 Mount Vesuvius erupted killing approximately 20,000 
 people. The cities of Pompeii, Stabiae and Herculaneum 
 were buried in volcanic ash. 
0410 The Visigoths overran Rome. This event symbolized the 
 fall of the Western Roman Empire. 
1456 The printing of the Gutenberg Bible was completed. 
1572 The Catholics began their slaughter of the French 
 Protestants in Paris. The killings claimed about 70,000 
1814 Washington, DC, was invaded by Canadians, who set fire 
 to what later became the White House, after it was whitewashed
 to cover the soot and partially burned wood, and the Capitol. 
1869 A patent for the waffle iron was received by Cornelius 
1891 Thomas Edison applied patents for the kinetoscope and 
 kinetograph (U.S. Pats. 493,426 and 589,168). 
1932 Amelia Earhart became the first woman to fly across 
 the U.S. non-stop. The trip from Los Angeles, CA to Newark, 
 NJ, took about 19 hours. 
1949 The North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) went into 
 effect. The agreement was that an attack against on one of 
 the parties would be considered "an attack against them all." 
1954 The Communist Party was virtually outlawed in the U.S. 
 when the Communist Control Act went into effect. 
1959 Three days after Hawaiian statehood, Hiram L. Fong was 
 sworn in as the first Chinese-American U.S. senator while 
 Daniel K. Inouye was sworn in as the first Japanese-American 
 U.S. representative. 
1963 John Pennel pole-vaulted 17 feet and 3/4 inches becoming 
 the first to break the 17-foot barrier. 
1968 France became the 5th thermonuclear power when they 
 exploded a hydrogen bomb in the South Pacific. 
1985 27 anti-apartheid leaders were arrested in South Africa 
 as racial violence rocked the country. 
1986 Frontier Airlines shut down. Thousands of people were 
 left stranded. 
1989 "Total war" was declared by Columbian drug lords on 
 their government. 
1989 The U.S. space probe, Voyager 2, sent back photographs 
 of Neptune. 
1990 Iraqi troops surrounded foreign missions in Kuwait. 
1991 Russian President Mikhail Gorbachev resigned as the 
 head of the Communist Party. 
1992 China and South Korea established diplomatic relations. 
1998 U.S. officials cited a soil sample as part of the 
 evidence that a Sudan plant was producing precursors to 
 the VX nerve gas. And, therefore made it a target for U.S. 
 missiles on August 20, 1998. 
1998 A donation of 24 beads was made, from three parties, 
 to the Indian Museum of North America at the Crazy Horse 
 Memorial. The beads are said to be those that were used 
 in 1626 to buy Manhattan from the Indians. 
2001 In McAllen, TX, Bridgestone/Firestone agreed to settle 
 out of court and pay a reported $7.5 million to a family 
 in a rollover accident in their Ford Explorer. 
2001 U.S. District Judge Colleen Kollar-Kotelly was randomly 
 picked to take over the Microsoft monopoly case. The judge 
 was to decide how Microsoft should be punished for illegally 
 trying to squelch its competitors. 
2001 NASA announced that operation of the Upper Atmosphere 
 Research Satellite would end by September 30th due to budget 
 restrictions. The satellite is best known for monitoring 
 a hole in the ozone layer over Antarctica, but the ozone 
 hoax was not taken serious anymore.
2005 The planet Pluto was reclassified as a "dwarf planet" 
 by the International Astronomical Union (IAU). Pluto's 
 status was changed due to the IAU's new rules for an object 
 qualifying as a planet. Pluto met two of the three rules 
 because it orbits the sun and is large enough to assume a 
 nearly round shape. However, since Pluto has an oblong orbit 
 and overlaps the orbit of Neptune it disqualified Pluto as 
 a planet. 
2014  smiled.

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