No movies and can't print coupons 

Good Morning,  !

Today is Monday, September 1
Happy Labor Day!

Have FUN!

Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Stripper, who took off clothes, masturbated in jail holding cell Details at Boneheads Today, in From the History section at the bottom: 1979 The U.S. Pioneer 11 became the first spacecraft to visit Saturn.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Things are more like they are now than they have ever been. --- Gerald R. Ford (1913 - 2006) "My father says, 'Marry a girl who has the same belief as the family.' I said, 'Dad, why would I marry a girl who thinks I'm a schmuck?'" --- Adam Sandler
Patient: Doctor, I have a problem. I feel unhealthy and depressed. Doctor: You should cut down on drinks. Patient: I don't touch a drop. Doctor: You should cut down on smoking. Patient: I don't smoke. Doctor: You should stop taking drugs. Patient: I don't do drugs. Doctor: You should cut down on womanizing. Patient: Haven't touched a woman in ten years. Doctor: In that case, get yourself a drink, learn to smoke, and find a couple of girlfriends.
At a dinner party, the speaker who was the guest of honor, was about to deliver his speech when his wife sitting at the other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper with the word "KISS" scribbled on it. A guest seated next to the speaker said, "Your wife has sent you a KISS before you begin your speech. She must love you very much." The speaker replied, "You don't know my wife. The letters stand for "Keep it short, Stupid."
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: Carrier landing

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Lakeisha Johnson, WEST PARK, Floriduh Tootsie's stripper takes off clothes, masturbates in jail Lakeisha Johnson was initially suspected of stealing an iPad. A stripper at a Miami Gardens nightclub took her profession to another level after she removed her clothing and masturbated inside a Hallandale Beach jail's holding cell. According to the Broward Sheriff's Office report, Lakeisha Johnson was initially suspected of stealing an iPad. Deputies say they spotted her jumping fences behind homes in the 5200 block of West Hallandale Beach Boulevard early Monday morning. Deputies say when they approached Johnson she began taking off her clothes and using vulgar language. She was eventually arrested on a charge of resisting an officer without violence and was held on $100 bond. The iPad wasn't found in her possession. While Johnson was in the holding cell, she masturbated and took off her clothes repeatedly, exposing her genitals, buttocks and breasts, according to the report. A corrections deputy says she also offered to perform a sex act in exchange for her release. The arrest report says Johnson works at Tootsie's in Miami Gardens. An attorney for Tootsies claims that Johnson does not or has not previously performed as an entertainer at the club. Tech Support Pits From: Penny Re: No movies and no coupon printing Hi Webby, Been a while since I have needed your advice, which is always appreciated. On Facebook I cannot watch videos that I have to leave the main page to watch. All I get is a black screen. Also after reading all the latest n"news" on FB, my computer will freeze. The only thing to do is hit< "control, Ault, delete". And trying to print out Walmart coupons from my e-mail, nothing happens. I'm thinking this all started after I updated Adobe. I ran a system restore thinking that would help. But NOPE ! Any ideas?? I just can't imagine getting injections in my eyes! Dang!! Will you have to do that for the rest of your life, or until you're cured or an operation??? I pray that all will be well with you. Thanks Webby Penny Dear Penny That sounds like your computer is not quite able to cope with the current Adobe Flash Player, and possibly a few other things. Be careful with those printable coupons! Many of them are fake and instead of coupons you get infections. When I get an email offering free Walmart coupons, then I dump that email very carefully, if MailWasher has not already marked it for deleting. You can try running Crap Cleaner from my Tool Box at I would also run a good virus scanner like McAfee and a Trojan cleaner like MalwareBytes. That might postpone the day, when you have to get a newer machine. Personally, I would not wait too long with that. Currently you can still get a Windows 7 machine, IF you try hard enough. However, soon all they will have is Windows 8. I would not recommend that to you. Re my eyes, hopefully soon the Macular Edema will be fixed and I won't need any more injections. Good Luck! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Getting All the Toothpaste out of the Tube When I can no longer get any more toothpaste out of the tube, I cut the tube into 2-3 inch sections and store them in a baggie. When I need toothpaste, I wet the brush and swipe some toothpaste from the cut sections. This extends the life of the tube for at least another week. By ilovesophie [19] Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A father, who worked away from home all week, always made a special effort with his family at the weekends. Every Sunday morning he would take his 7 year old daughter out for a drive in the car. One particular Sunday however, he had a bad cold that he really didn't feel like driving at all. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and decided that for this Sunday she would take their daughter out. They returned just before lunch and the little girl ran upstairs to see her father. "Well" the father asked, "did you enjoy your ride with mommy?" "Oh yes Daddy" the girl replied, "and do you know what, we didn't see a single bastard or moron! Today WE played the morons!"
"My ancestry goes all the way back to Alexander the Great," said one lady. She then turned to a second woman and asked, "How far does your family go back?" "I don't really know for sure." was the reply. "All of our records were lost in The Flood."

Campfire Photos

Today in 
1810 The first plow with interchangeable parts was patented 
 by John J. Wood. 
1859 The Pullman sleeping car was placed into service. 
1878 Emma M. Nutt became the first female telephone operator 
 in the U.S. The company was the Telephone Dispatch Company 
 of Boston. 
1887 Emile Berliner filed for a patent for his invention of 
 the lateral-cut, flat-disk gramophone. It is a device that 
 is better known as a record player. Thomas Edison made 
 the idea work. 
1897 The first section of Boston's subway system was opened. 
1905 Saskatchewan and Alberta became the ninth and tenth 
 provinces of Canada. 
1939 World War II began when England turned Germany's invasion
 of Poland into more than a routine intra-European border 
 re-alignment and into a World War involving more than just 
 European countries. 
1942 A federal judge in Sacramento, CA, upheld the wartime 
 detention of Japanese-Americans as well as Japanese nationals. 
1945 The U.S. received official word of Japan's formal 
 surrender that ended World War II. In Japan, it was actually 
 September 2nd. 
1969 Col. Moammar Gadhafi came into power in Libya after the 
 government was overthrown. 
1979 The U.S. Pioneer 11 became the first spacecraft to visit 
1982 Mexican President Jose Lopez Portillo closed all the 
 country's private banks. 
1985 The Titanic was found by Dr. Robert Ballard and Jean 
 Louis Michel in a joint U.S. and French expedition. The 
 wreck site is located 963 miles northeast of New York 
 and 453 miles southeast of the Newfoundland coast. 
1997 In France, the prosecutor's office announced that the 
 driver of the car, in which Britain's Princess Diana was 
 killed, was over the legal alcohol limit. 
1998 The movie "Titanic" went on sale across North America. 
1998 Vietnam released 5,000 prisoners, including political 
 dissidents, on National Day. 
2014  smiled.

[ view entry ] ( 10 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 468 )

<<First <Back | 51 | 52 | 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 | Next> Last>>