Calls from "Windows Support" 

Good Morning,  !

Today is Friday, September 19
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Quite predictably, Scotland has decided to 
1) avoid the expense of having to pay their own politicians, 
2) and to keep their "national" past time of blaming the 
silly bastids in London for any and all of their troubles.

Nonetheless, they will try again in a few years, just to 
see what additional concessions and funds they can extort 
from London. For a start, they will import some experts 
from Quebec.

Have FUN!

Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Woman Charged With Breaking Into Home, Raping Man In Seattle Details at Boneheads Today, in 1982 - Scott Fahlman became the first person to use :-) in an online message.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
I shall never be ashamed of citing a bad author if the line is good. --- Seneca (5 BC - 65 AD) Think not those faithful who praise all thy words and actions; but those who kindly reprove thy faults. --- Socrates (469 BC - 399 BC)
>From Bea FACTS OF LIFE Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them. The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content. Home is where you can say anything you like, 'cause nobody listens to you anyway. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with. I don't have a big ego. I'm way too cool for that. Regular naps prevent old age..... especially if you take them while driving. If God had intended for man to use the metric system, Jesus would have only had ten disciples! Travel is very educational. I can now say "Kaopectate" in seven different languages. I was on a date recently, and the guy took me horseback riding. That was kind of fun, until we ran out of quarters." Women should not have children after 35. Really... 35 children are quite enough. Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at bowling alleys. After all is said and done, usually more is said than done. I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been giving me lately! "No one ever says "It's only a game," when their team is winning." I gave my son a hint. On his room door I put a sign: CHECKOUT TIME IS 18." "How come we choose from just two people for president and 50 for Miss America?" How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on. On my first day of school my parents dropped me off at the wrong nursery. There I was... surrounded by trees and bushes.
Traveling through New England, a motorist stopped for gas in a tiny village. "What's this place called?" he asked the station attendant. "All depends," the native drawled. "Do you mean by them that has to live in this dad-blamed, moth-eaten, dust-covered dump, or by them that's merely enjoying its quaint and picturesque rustic charms for a short spell ?"
Click through for the large picture
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Chantae Gilman, 26, Seattle, WA Woman Charged With Breaking Into Home, Raping Man In Seattle A Seattle prosecutor has charged 26-year-old Chantae Gilman with second-degree rape after a man reportedly awoke from a deep sleep and found her on top of him in his bed. The alleged sexual attack occurred more than a year ago, but a recently completed DNA test led prosecutors to file charges against Gilman, according to Q13 Fox. The unidentified, 31-year-old man said he awoke at 2 a.m. on June 17, 2013 to Gilman straddling him and having sexual intercourse with him. Police say he told the 240-pound suspect to get off, but she allegedly refused and told him to be quiet. He was able to break free from underneath her and said he pushed her out of the apartment. The victim said he'd gone to sleep following a night of partying and a "long day." He didn't know Gilman but recognized her as a "drug user in the area," a detective told The Seattle Post-Intelligencer. Local hospital staff performed a sexual assault examination later in the day. The DNA collected during the case matched Gilman's this year. Gilman told police that she didn't remember the incident or being in his home. She described herself as mentally ill. Seattle police acknowledged to KOMO-TV that an arrest of a female rapist is unusual. "From a statistical standpoint, yes, it is atypical to have a female aggressor," SPD Det. Drew Fowler told the station. "But we work to hold all people responsible for their actions. The law is specifically written to be gender-equitable and we will charge anybody with a crime that they've committed." Gilman is a mother of four who is eight months pregnant with her fifth child, said Elwin Hartfield, a friend who answered the door at her last known address in Seattle. Hartfield said Gilman was in treatment in Eastern Washington, and that she'd been treated for mental health issues and drug abuse in the past. Gilman is set to be arraigned on Sept. 22. She's being held on $100,000 bail. Tech Support Pits From: Moe Re: Call from Windows Trouble Desk Dear Webby, Got a call from a punjab this morning claiming to be from Windows Trouble Desk...? Told him I not have windows. hung up.. not in mood. normally would run up their phone bill. Moe Hi Moe Yes, there are more and more of those. They probably got your number from one of the credit cards, that they hacked the data from. I just tell them to hold and put the phone down in front of one of the speakers. Then they get with whatever theme I am listening to that day. Today it is Classic Country There are hundreds of themes. Eventually the scammers get the hint and hang up. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Donating Newspaper and Plastic Bags I keep a laundry basket in the back of my car. I put my newspaper and plastic bags in the laundry basket. Once a week, I stop at a local resale shop that is run by a charity. They need the paper to wrap glass items and the bags for customer's items. It takes me less than five minutes of my day and really helps them out. By Luci M. [4] http://www.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Every morning for years, at about 11:30, the telephone operator in a small Sierra-Nevada town received a call from a man asking the exact time. One day the operator summed up nerve enough to ask him why the regularity. "I'm foreman of the local sawmill," he explained. "Every day I have to blow the whistle at noon so I call you to get the exact time." The operator giggled, "That's really funny," she said. "All this time we've been setting our clock by your whistle.
Jill was out driving her car and while stopped at a red light, the car just died. It was a busy intersection and the traffic behind her starting growing. The guy in the car directly behind her started honking his horn continuously as Jill continued to try getting the car to start up again. Finally Jill gets out of her car and approaches the guy in the car behind her. "I can't seem to get my car started," Jill said, smiling. "Would you be a sweetheart and go and see if you can get it started for me. I'll stay here in your car and honk your horn like a demented moron for you."

When cars had class!

Today in 
1356 - The Battle of Poitiers was fought between England and 
 France. Edward "the Black Prince" captured France's King John. 
1777 - The Battle of Saratoga was won by American soldiers 
 during the Revolutionary War. 
1876 - Melville R. Bissell patented the carpet sweeper. 
1893 - In New Zealand, the Electoral Act 1893 was consented 
 to giving all women in New Zealand the right to vote. 
1955 - Argentina President Juan Peron was ousted after a 
 revolt by the army and navy. 
1957 - The U.S. conducted its first underground nuclear test. 
 The test took place in the Nevada desert. 
1959 - Nikita Khruschev was not allowed to visit Disneyland 
 due to security reasons. Khrushchev reacted angrily. 
1960 - Cuban leader Fidel Castro, in New York to visit the 
 United Nations, checked out of the Shelburne Hotel angrily 
 after a dispute with the management. 
1982 - Scott Fahlman became the first person to use :-) 
 in an online message. 
1983 - Lebanese army units defending Souk el-Gharb were 
 supported in their effort by two U.S. Navy ships off Beirut. 
1986 - U.S. health officials announced that AZT, though an 
 experimental drug, would be made available to AIDS patients. 
1988 - Israel successfully launched the Horizon-I test satellite. 
1990 - Iraq began confiscating foreign assets of countries 
 that were imposing sanctions against the Iraqi government. 
1994 - U.S. troops entered Haiti peacefully to enforce the 
 return of exiled President Jean-Bertrand Aristide. 
1995 - The commander of American forces in Japan and the 
 U.S. ambassador apologized for the rape of a schoolgirl 
 committed by three U.S. servicemen. 
1996 - The government of Guatemala and leftist rebels signed 
 a peace treaty to end their long war. 
2002 - In Ivory Coast, around 750 rebel soldiers attempted 
 to overthrow the government. U.S. troops landed on September 
 25th to help move foreigners, including Americans, to 
 safer areas. 
2003 - It was reported that AOL Time Warner was going to drop 
 "AOL" from its name and be known as Time Warner Inc. The 
 company had announced its merger and name change on January 
 10, 2000.
2014  smiled.

[ view entry ] ( 9 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 750 )

<<First <Back | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | Next> Last>>