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Good Morning,  !

Today is Monday, September 22

Thanks you, Larry!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Mouthy drunk driver in Tennessee Details at Boneheads Today, in 1792 The French National Convention voted to abolish the monarchy.
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We are so vain that we even care for the opinion of those we don't care for. --- Marie Ebner von Eschenbach
A husband took his young daughter to the grocery store with him. In addition to the healthful items on the carefully prepared shopping list, they returned with a box of sugar-laden cookies. The man noticed the glare of his wife and said, "This box of cookies has one-third fewer calories than usual." "Why is that?" the mother asked. "We ate a third of the cookies on the way home," he replied.
When I ran into my neighbor Steve at the department store we chatted a bit as we walked. He considers himself fairly strong, but was dismayed that that he couldn't even lift the 35 pound barbell in the Sporting Goods area. He tried but just simply couldn't lift it. So he tried the 15 pound bar. He still couldn't budge it and looked quite depressed about his own physical strength. I have never done any weight lifting, but after spending many years in the bush and in mines, those silly toys looked like no problem at all. So I grabbed a 50 pounder and yanked it up with a good tug, - and knocked the display over. OOOPS! That's when we realized they had been epoxied onto the shelves.
Click through for the large picture Guess which one of these don't have a radar detector!
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Dechazo Harris, 27, West Palm beach, Floriduh Customer Pointed Gun At Drive-Thru Worker And Demanded A Hamburger “Give me a hamburger or I’ll shoot you.” That is what Dechazo Harris, gun in hand, allegedly said to a Florida drive-thru worker with whom he quarreled over an order. According to police, Harris, 27, ordered a midnight meal via a drive-thru speaker at a Checkers in West Palm Beach. When he drove to the pick-up window, he sought to submit a second order. However, Checkers manager Rontavious Tarver, 20, explained to Harris, that if he wanted to place another order, he would have to drive around to the speaker and place it there. In response to that direction, Harris, cops charge, pulled out a gun and pointed it at the Checkers employee. As he began to exit his vehicle, Harris threatened the worker, “Give me a hamburger or I’ll shoot you.” He added, “Bro, you don’t know who I am.” Two male passengers in Harris’s car convinced him not to fire his weapon. “Shea, stop it, get in the car,” they said, according to the police report. The pistolero subsequently returned to the Oldsmobile and fled-- but not before his license plate was captured. Though Tarver immediately identified Harris from a photo lineup, the Palm Springs resident was not arrested until Tuesday morning. He was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, a felony. Harris is locked up in the county jail in lieu of $5000 bond. Apparently they want him out quickly and see what else he does. Tech Support Pits From: Darla Re: XP security patches Dear Webby, In regards to your Tech Support for today, 9/20, have you posted something earlier about where to get the Security Updates for XP ? If you did, guess I must have missed that info. Thanks for your time, Darla Dear Darla That must have been the day where I badly messed up. Sorry. Here is what I had intended to write: Thanks to Walter the Stonecarver for this important information about XP security updates for corporate users: XP-SP4 Download Long URL: http://www.inquisitr.com/1457310/window ... w54bg5z.99 And here is how to get security updates for Windows XP until April 2019 XP until 2019 http://www.ghacks.net/2014/05/24/get-se ... pril-2019/ It links to two sites in Germany with instructions, also instructions on doing this with 64 bit xp Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Vinegar for cleaning Vinegar is a cheap and easy cleaning solution. Vinegar is naturally antibacterial. In my kitchen, I use one part vinegar to one part water to clean the counters and sink, and to disinfect. I use the same solution to clean my bathroom, except I use full strength vinegar on the toilet seat and bowl. I let it stand for a few minutes before I scrub the bowl and flush. On my floors, I use the same 1-1 solution, with a few drops of dish soap; I use this to clean both my laminate kitchen floor, my wooden living room floor, and my tile bathroom floor. If you want a "clean" smell, add a few drops of lemon juice or a fragrance extract. Not only is it cheap, but it is safe for kids and pets. I began using this when I had my son, knowing that he would soon be crawling all over the floor. As a warning, do not mix with bleach or ammonia; this can create dangerous fumes. Just leave a window cracked to help filter out the vinegar smell. Source: my depression-era grandmother By MamaSarah from Lansing, MI By Mistie http://www. thriftyfun.com/
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Some tourists in the Chicago Museum of Natural History are marveling at the dinosaur bones. One of them asks the guard, "Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?" The guard replies, "They are 3 million, four years, and six months old." "That's an awfully exact number," says the tourist. "How do you know their age so precisely?" The guard answers, "Well, the dinosaur bones were three million years old when I started working here, and that was four and a half years ago."
A pair of congressmen met for lunch to hash out their political differences. Ten minutes into the meal, one angrily pounded the table. "You're lying!" he shouted. "Of course I'm lying," the other said, "but hear me out."

» Harvesting your garden

Today in 
1792 The French Republic was proclaimed. 
1862 U.S. President Lincoln issued the preliminary Emancipation 
 Proclamation. It stated that all slaves held within rebel 
 states would be free as of January 1, 1863. 
1903 Italo Marchiony was granted a patent for the ice cream cone. 
1914 Three British cruisers were sunk by one German submarine in 
 the North Sea. 1,400 British sailors were killed. This event 
 alerted the British to the effectiveness of the submarine. 
1927 In Chicago, IL, Gene Tunney successfully defended his 
 heavyweight boxing title against Jack Dempsey in the famous 
 "long-count" fight. 
1949 The Soviet Union exploded its first atomic bomb successfully. 
1955 Commercial television began in Great Britain. The rules 
 said that only six minutes of ads were allowed each hour and 
 there was no Sunday morning TV permitted. 
1966 The U.S. lunar probe Surveyor 2 crashed into the moon. 
1980 A border conflict between Iran and Iraq developed into a 
 full-scale war. 
1988 Canada's government apologized for the internment of 
 Japanese-Canadian's during World War II. They also promised 
 compensation. 
1990 Saudi Arabia expelled most of the Yememin and Jordanian 
 envoys in Riyadh. The Saudi accusations were unspecific. 
1994 The U.S. upgraded its military control in Haiti. 
1998 The U.S. and Russia signed two agreements. One was to 
 privatize Russia's nuclear program and the other was to stop 
 plutonium stockpiles and nuclear scientists from leaving the 
 country. 
1998 U.S. President Clinton addressed the United Nations and 
 told world leaders to "end all nuclear tests for all time". 
 He then sent the long-delayed global test-ban treaty to the U.S. Senate. 
2014  smiled.


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