Thursday, September 25, 2014, 06:37 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday, September 25
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a
Rhode Island man got 4 DUIs in 30 hours
by crashing 4 different vehicles.
Details at Boneheads
Today, in
2012 China launched its first aircraft carrier into service.
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Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty.
--- Leo Rosten (1908 - )
Under capitalism, man exploits man.
Under communism, it's just the opposite.
--- John Kenneth Galbraith (1908 - 2006)
>From Roland
>From Clyde
I enjoyed the joke about Natchitoches!
I grew up in Natchitoches and left in 1942 when I enlisted
in the U. S. Army Air Corps at age 18.
Natchitoches is pronounced Nak-a-tish!
You should try some Natcitoches Meat Pies~~really delicious!
You can get the recipe on Google or Yahoo.
Natchitoches is the oldest settlement in the Louisiana
Purchase ~~1714.
A well-off young man is moving from apartment to another
a few streets away.
Observing with dismay the carefree way in which the moving
crew yanks his cherished antiques about, he decides he'll
carry a tall grandfather's clock, which he prizes highly.
Taking the clock in his arms he starts for the new house.
But the clock is as tall as its owner and heavy, so he has
to put it down every few feet to rest his arms and mop his
brow. Then he clutches the clock again and staggers on.
He's nearly at the new house when a drunk, who's been
watching the fellow struggle, calls out to him.
"Mischter," he says thickly, "can I ash you a quest'n?"
"What is it?" the exhausted young man says.
"Why the heck don'shou carry a watsch?"
A father attends a PTA meeting where the principal explains
that the school's sex education classes are to begin soon
and urges the parents to have some basic discussions with
their kids at home first.
The father had given his older boy a "birds and bees" talk
two years before and wants to spare himself the ordeal
again. When he gets home, he calls the boy into the study
and asks him to give his younger brother the instruction he
had been given two years before.
The boy agrees and rushes off to talk with his younger brother.
"Hey, bro," he says, "want to know something?"
"What?" the younger lad asks.
"You know how a man and a woman get together when they
want to have kids?"
"Yeah?"
"Well, Dad wants me to tell you that birds and bees and
flowers do the same thing."
Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture:
Click through for the large picture
This 144 years old Wisteria Tree located in Japan,
its size is about half an acre and it is the biggest
of its kind.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
John Lourenco, 53, Cumberland, RI
FOUR DUI crashes in 30 hours
John Lourenco, 53, crashed four vehicles while driving drunk
-- three into other vehicles and one into a tree, police said.
After leaving the hospital following one of the crashes,
Lourenco even got behind the wheel of a dump truck and
crashed it too.
The first three crashes occurred in Cumberland, while the
fourth happened in Providence.
Lourenco faces charges of reckless driving, refusing a
breathalyzer, driving under the influence and driving
without evidence of insurance.
Some reports say he had a DUI last year and probably
no drivers license.
He was released from custody on $25,000 bail.
Many news services reported about Loureco's crashes and DUIs,
but NO news service has a mug shot of Lourenco. He must have
some incredibly good connections.
Tech Support Pits
From: Daniel
Re: Animations in email
Dear Webby,
If you copy an animated picture and paste it to email,
why won't it go to the animated feature?
daniel
Dear Daniel
That depends on the email program you use.
Some work, some don't.
Usually web based email programs like Thunderbird or
Gmail display animations, text based programs like
Outlook Express usually don't, Older programs like
Eudora show the animation when receiving, but not
while composing a mail.
Animations always work when shown on a web page,
like for example this one: BRB
http://webby.com/humor/brb.gif
You can always just put the URL into your email or chat.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Use fewer chocolate chips
I pay a small fortune for my allergen free chocolate chips.
I also snack on them. One day when I needed to bake, I realized
I only had about 1/4 of a bag left. I took a leap and used that
in the cookies. They were fantastic and no one noticed the
"scant" amount of chips. Soon I was taking my newly-purchased
bags and dividing them up into 1/3 cup portions, putting them
into plastic sandwich-sized bags and then storing them in my
chocolate drawer. Yes, chocoholic that I am, I actually have
a chocolate drawer.
I get 4 (or more) portions per bag, as each bag has about
1 1/3 cups of chips in them, whether my allergen free ones
OR the usual dairy-loaded ones we all grew up on. My only
fear about sharing this frugal tip has been that once the
manufacturers get wind of this they will begin selling them
in 1/3 cup bags for the same outrageous price I have to pay
now, about $5.59 per bag! So now I have enough chips for
anything I must bake and I can more easily swallow (pun
intended) and justify the stiff price I pay for a bag.
Give it a try. Make a batch of your usual, using only
1/3 cup of your chips (on the QT) and see if anyone complains
or compliments. But, please, keep this tip hush-hush!
Use Less Chocolate Chips in Recipes Use Less Chocolate Chips
in Recipes Use Less Chocolate Chips in Recipes
Source: My kitchen
By J'Marinde [3]
http://www. thriftyfun.com/
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
>From Lillemor
An Arab Sheik was admitted to Hospital for heart surgery,
but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store his
type of blood in case the need arose.
As the gentleman had a very rare type of blood, it couldn't
be found locally, so the call went out.
Finally, a Scotsman was located who had the same blood type.
The Scot willingly donated his blood for the Arab.
The Arab sent the Scotsman, as appreciation for giving his
blood, a new BMW, diamonds & $100,000, happy that his surgery
could now go ahead.
A couple of months later, once again, the Arab had to go
through a corrective surgery.
His doctor telephoned the Scotsman who was more than happy
to donate his blood again.
After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a
thank-you card and a box of Quality Street chocolates.
The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not repeat his
previous kind gesture as he had anticipated.
He phoned the Arab and asked him: "I thought you would be
generous again, that you would give me a BMW, diamonds &
money, but you only gave me a thank-you card and a box of
Quality Street .."
To this the Arab replied: "Aye, laddie, but I now have
Scottish blood in me veins."
A little boy comes home from the playground with a bloody
nose, a black eye and torn clothing. It is obvious he was in
a bad fight and he lost.
While his father is patching him up, he asks his son what
happened.
"Well, Dad," says the boy, "I challenged a kid at school to
a duel, and I gave him his choice of weapons."
"Uh-huh," says the father, "that seems fair."
"I know, but I never thought he'd choose his big sister!"
Today in
1493 Christopher Columbus left Spain with 17 ships on his
second voyage to the Western Hemisphere.
1513 The Pacific Ocean was discovered by Spanish explorer
Vasco Nunez de Balboa when he crossed the Isthmus of Panama.
He named the body of water the South Sea.
1775 Ethan Allen was captured by the British during the
American Revolutionary War. He was leading the attack on
Montreal.
1789 The first U.S. Congress adopted 12 amendments to the
Constitution. Ten of the amendments became the Bill of Rights.
1847 During the Mexican-American War, U.S. forces led by
General Zachary Taylor captured Monterrey Mexico.
1882 The first major league double header was played. It was
between the Worcester and Providence teams.
1890 The Sequoia National Park was established as a U.S.
National Park in Central California.
1890 Mormon President Wilford Woodruff issued a Manifesto
in which the practice of polygamy was renounced.
1919 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson collapsed after a speech
in Pueblo, CO. The speaking tour was in support of the
Treaty of Versailles.
1956 A transatlantic telephone-cable system began operation
between Newfoundland and Scotland.
1957 300 U.S. Army troops stood guard as nine black students
were escorted to class at Central High School in
Little Rock, AR. The children had been forced to withdraw
2 days earlier because of unruly white mobs.
1973 The three crewmen of Skylab II landed in the Pacific
Ocean after being on the U.S. space laboratory for 59 days.
1978 Melissa Ludtke, a writer for "Sports Illustrated", filed
a suit in U.S. District Court. The result was that Major
League Baseball could not bar female writers from the
locker room after the game.
1983 A Soviet military officer, Stanislav Petrov, averted a
potential worldwide nuclear war. He declared a false alarm
after a U.S. attack was detected by a Soviet early warning
system. It was later discovered the alarms had been set off
when the satellite warning system mistakenly interpreted
sunlight reflections off clouds as the presence of enemy
missiles.
1987 The booty collected from the Wydah, which sunk off
Cape Cod in 1717, was auctioned off. The worth was around
$400 million.
1990 The U.N. Security Council voted to impose an air embargo
against Iraq. Cuba was the only dissenting vote.
1991 The U.N. Security Council unanimously ordered a worldwide
arms embargo against Yugoslavia and all of its warring factions.
1992 In Orlando, FL, a judge ruled in favor of 12-year-old
Gregory Kingsley. He had sought a divorce from his
biological parents.
1992 The Mars Observer blasted off on a mission that cost
$980 million. The probe has not been heard from since it
reached Mars in August of 1993.
1995 Ross Perot announced that he would form the
Independence Party.
2001 Michael Jordan announced that he would return to the
NBA as a player for the Washington Wizards. Jordan became
the president of basketball operations for the team on
January 19, 2000.
2002 U.S. forces landed in Ivory Coast to aid in the rescue
of foreigners trapped in a school by fighting between
government troops and rebel troops. Rebels had attempted
to take over the government on September 19.
2012 China launched its first aircraft carrier into service.
2014 smiled.
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