Erratic monitor 



Today is Friday, October 3
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to two Teachers, who had a threesome with a gossippy student Details at Boneheads Today, in 1990 The Berlin Wall was dismantled eleven months after the borders between East and West Germany were dissolved. The unification of Germany ended 45 years of division.
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Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought. --- Albert Szent-Gyorgyi (1893 - 1986)
>From Fred AS A C-130 PILOT in the Air National Guard, I drive to my base several times a month for practice flights, wearing my flight suit. On the way home late one night, my car's engine quit, and I coasted to a stop within sight of an isolated farmhouse. When I knocked on the door, a young woman answered. "I was on my way home from the Guard air base, but ran out of gas," I explained, holding up a one-gallon gas can to make my predicament clear. "May I use your telephone?" The woman stared at my flight suit and stammered, "But, but, but where did you land?"
It was very crowded at the supermarket, and this customer had a large order. As the harried-looking clerk lifted the final bag for her, its bottom gave way, sending the contents crashing to the floor. "They just don't make these bags like they used to," the clerk blurted to the customer. "That was supposed to happen in your driveway!"
Click through for the large picture 4 islands, part of the Aleutian Island chain, are actually the upper slopes of volcanoes rising from the sea floor: Carlisle, Cleveland, Herbert, and Tana. The peaks have cooled enough to hold fresh snow, the sides are still warm. The grey areas are white-caps on the Pacific. Looks like great weather for wind surfing or tall ship sailing. For waves to show on a picture taken from the space station, they have to be quite substantial.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Shelley Dufresne, 32, and Rachel Respess, 24, St Charles, LA Teachers had threesome with gossippy student Two English teachers at a Louisiana high school are facing felony charges for allegedly having sexual relations with the same 16-year-old male student whose recent “bragging” to other pupils prompted a criminal investigation targeting the female educators. Police yesterday arrested Shelley Dufresne, 32, for having "inappropriate sexual contact" with the boy, who is a junior at Destrehan High School in St. Charles, a parish about 25 miles west of New Orleans. Dufresne is the victim's English teacher, cops report. Dufresne, who has taught English at the school for ten years, was released from jail last night on $200,000 bond. Pictured above, Dufresne, who is married with three children, was placed on house arrest. Investigators allege that Dufresne had sex with the teenager earlier this month in a residence in Montz (where Dufresne lives). Sheriff’s investigators first learned of the alleged incident last week, when school officials reported that “a male student was bragging to other students that he was having a sexual relationship with teachers.” Dufresne and another Destrehan High School teacher, Rachel Respess, have been charged in a separate jurisdiction with jointly having sexual contact with the minor. The educators have been accused by police of an illicit sexual tryst this month in Kenner, a city in Jefferson Parish (which neighbors St. Charles Parish). Respess turned herself in to Kenner police this morning on a felony carnal knowledge of a juvenile count. She was also charged with indecent behavior and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Respess was the victim's English teacher last year. Kenner police charged Dufresne with the same three counts as Respess. Investigators allege that the threesome at Respess’s apartment began on the evening of September 12 and continued into the following morning (Dufresne turned 32 on September 12). During a press conference this afternoon, police Chief Michael Glasser said that Respess provided cops with details of the encounter in her home, but “stopped short of a total confession.” He added that investigators are seeking additional evidence, an apparent reference to photos that were reportedly taken during the sex session. Like Dufresne, the 24-year-old Respess is a Louisiana State University graduate. She has taught English at Destrehan High School for two years. ------ There seems to be an epidemic of married English teachers picking gossipy students. Post Traumatic Stress from bad grammar? What else could be the cause of that? Why are married English teachers so much less careful when selecting boys? Tech Support Pits From: Beverly Re: Erratic monitor Dear Webby, Your hunor letter and my first cup of coffee make my morning. I have an older computer and I'm on a fixed income and can't afford a new one. What's happening is that everything is spread out beyond the sides of the screen. Sometimes it jumps back to normal. Is there anything that can be done? Thank you, Bev. Dear Bev That sounds like a monitor that needs what we techs call "Percussive Maintenance". You whack the monitor a good slap with your hand. Then it will usually behave for a while. However, it's definitely destined for a one way trip to the recycling depot. 1) Turn the couch upside down and shake out the lost coins to start your monitor replacement fund. 2) Do a house and attic cleaning and sell a bunch of stuff on ebay. 3) Select a monitor that fits your desk and budget. A good source is http://pricegrabber.com Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Ready Made Salads In Ziploc Bowls Like many couples with no kids in the house, we don't eat as we should. Here's a way to get a few more veggies in. Take one bag of salad lettuce and divide it into 6 bowls with lids (I use 20 oz Ziploc bowls) add tomatoes, a couple of olives, sliced mushrooms, cucumbers or whatever salad veggies you want. Put them in the refrigerator. Then when you are stalking the refrigerator for something to eat, you will have a few ready made salads that you are more likely to eat first before grabbing that muffin. You only have to add the dressing and maybe a little feta and you're ready to go. They will last 2-3 days. One last thing: use grape or cherry tomatoes, it's more likely to last longer because cut up tomatoes will release more acid and gases that cause the lettuce to wilt. By melmarr from Michigan http://www. thriftyfun.com/

Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

>From Fran I put a roast in the oven one noon hour and set the timer, a feature I hadn't used yet. Before leaving work that afternoon, I phoned my 14-year-old son to ask him to check the roast and peel some potatoes. Minutes later he called back. "Mom, the roast isn't cooked. The oven didn't come on." The roast was on the menu again the following day, but this time, since I stopped by the house after a business lunch, I decided to turn the oven on myself. Again before leaving work, I called my son to check the roast and get the potatoes started. Again he called me back. "The roast still isn't cooked." "Listen," I said. "I know the oven's on. I turned it on before I left. I didn't use the timer." "Oh, the stove's working fine," he told me. "It's just that the roast is still in the refrigerator."
A college professor had the mysterious habit of walking into the lecture hall each morning, removing a tennis ball from his jacket pocket. He would set it on the corner of the podium. After giving the lecture for the day, he would once again pick up the tennis ball, place it into his jacket pocket, and leave the room. No one ever understood why he did this, until one day. . . A student fell asleep during the lecture. The professor never missed a word of his lecture while he walked over to the podium, picked up the tennis ball and threw it, hitting the sleeping student squarely on the top of the head. The next day, the professor walked into the room, reached into his jacket, removed a baseball. No one ever fell asleep in his class the rest of the semester! ----------- I remember one professor who used to grab a chalk board eraser, wiped the chalk ledge with it to really coat it with chalk, and then bean a sleeper. You can imagine the explosion of chalk totally covering the hapless sleeper and identifying him for the rest of the day. I did homework during his lectures and don't remember a single word of what he said.

» Penguins 2 Pumpkins

Today in 

1863 U.S. President Lincoln declared that the last Thursday 
 of November would be recognized as Thanksgiving Day. 
1893 The motor-driven vacuum cleaner was patented by J.S. Thurman. 
1901 The Victor Talking Machine Company was incorporated. 
 After a merger with Radio Corporation of America the company 
 became RCA-Victor. 
1929 The Kingdom of Serbs, Croats and Slovenes officially 
 changed its name to the Kingdom of Yugoslavia. 
1932 Iraq was admitted into the League of Nations leading 
 Britain to terminate their mandate over the nation. Britain 
 had ruled Iraq since taking it from Turkey during World War I. 
1935 Italian forces invaded Abyssinia (now Ethiopia). 
1941 Adolf Hitler stated in a speech that Russia was "broken" 
 and they "would never rise again." 
1944 During World War II, U.S. troops broke through the 
 Siegfried Line. 
1952 Britain became the third nuclear power in the world when 
 they successfully detonated their first atomic bomb.
1955 "Captain Kangaroo" premiered on CBS-TV. 
1962 The Sigma VII blasted off from Cape Canaveral for a 
 nine-hour flight. 
1981 Irish Nationalists in Maze Prison in Belfast, Northern 
 Ireland called off their hunger strike. The strike had lasted 
 7 months and ten people had died. 
1989 East Germany suspended unrestricted travel to Czechoslovakia 
in an effort to slow the flow of refugees to the West. 
1990 The Berlin Wall was dismantled eleven months after the 
 borders between East and West Germany were dissolved. The 
 unification of Germany ended 45 years of division. 
1990 Iraqi President Saddam Hussein made a visit to Kuwait 
 since his country had seized control of the oil-rich nation. 
1994 The headquarters of the Haitian pro-army militia was 
 raided by U.S. soldiers. 
2003 Ray Horn, of the duo "Siegfried & Roy," was attacked 
 by tiger during a performance. Roy survived the attack 
 after being dragged offstage. The tiger, a 7-year-old 
 male named Montecore, was debuting in his first show. 
2006 North Korea announced that it would conduct a nuclear 
 test as a key step in the manufacture of atomic bombs 
 that it viewed as a deterrent against a U.S. attack.
2014  smiled.


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