Computer noisy in the afternoon 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, October 7

On Thursday I have to go to Calgary for more injections into
the eyeballs. That means no Friday, Saturday or Sunday 
newsletters will get sent out.

Have FUN!

Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Mississippi mom, who burglarized cars at school, claimed she's looking for ISIS Details at Boneheads Today, in 1963 U.S. President Kennedy signed a nuclear test ban treaty with Britain and the Soviet Union.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
There's an old saying about those who forget history. I don't remember it, but it's good. --- Stephen Colbert Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
Thanks to Sandie for this story: Jim had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the fish salesman, "Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?" "Why do you want me to throw them at you?" "Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them." "Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange roughy." "Why's that?" "Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, I should tell you to get the roughy. She prefers that for supper tonight."
Three boys were heading home from school one day when one started the time-honored game of paternal one-upmanship. He said, "My dad's way faster than any of yours, he can throw a 90-mph fast ball from the pitcher's mound and run and catch it just after it crosses the plate!" One of the other boys said, "Oh yeah? Well, my dad can shoot an arrow from his bow and run to the target and hold it up to make sure the arrow hits the bulls eye!" The last boy said, "Your dads don't even come close to being faster than mine. My dad works for the government, and even though he works every day until 4:00 he gets home at 3:30!"
Click through for the large picture Zhangjiajie National Park, China
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Lisa Carol Roche, 41, Hurley, Mississippi Mom Burglarizes Cars At School, Claims She's Looking For ISIS Apparently, there's growing concern that the Islamist State of Iraq and Syria could attack the United States from within, cops just don't believe that terrorists will start by hiding in cars on Mississippi school property. That allegedly didn't stop Lisa Carol Roche from using ISIS as an excuse. The Hurley woman is accused of burglarizing cars in the parking lot of her children's school, then telling officers that she was "looking for ISIS terrorists," according to Gulf Live. Roche, 41, was allegedly caught stealing sunglasses and other items from cars at East Central High School, FOX 10 reports. She remained in Jackson County Adult Detention Center Friday. She's been charged previously with careless driving, felony fraud and felony embezzlement. She faces up to five years in prison and a $10,000 fine if convicted of commercial burglary. Tech Support Pits From: Elvira Re: Noisy computer Dear Webby, My computer works fine in the morning, but in the afternoon it gets noisy and most programs slow down. The wanna-be son-in-law who claims to be a computer guru, said it's just getting old and that he would give me $50 trade-in value for it if I bought a new $1600 computer from him. My computer is only two years old, and in the morning is still quite a speed demon. What's the real story? Elvira Dear Elvira That guy is not a guru, he is a gooron, or a crook. Or possibly both. Your computer is simply overheating in the afternoon, because it has not been cleaned out for a long time. Take the side cover off. If you can do that and comfortably lie down on the floor in front of it, do it there, otherwise unplug everything and set the computer on top of some spread newspapers on the kitchen table. Then take the vaccum cleaner with the furniture crevice tool attached and clean out all the dust bunnies and dirt. Clean the heat sinks with Q-tips. "Heat Sinks" are those finned metal blocks that cover the CPU and other hard working chips. Some heatsinks have shrouds with fans over them. Those can normally be removed wihout any tools. Just look at them and push on different sides and places. They are a bit tricky, but any woman, who can take a food processor apart and put it back together, has a huge advantage over men who have not acquired that skill. The heat sinks under shrouds frequently look rather gross, but no worse than the inside of a stove exhaust hood. Fold a kleenex or paper towel around a business card or credit card and slide it between the fins to clean them. If they don't come perfectly clean with just that, drip some rubbing alcohol or window cleaner onto the paper. Don't think of the project as a tedious nuisance. Consider it a battle against the evil dust bunnies in their secret castle and it's a fun ten minutes. Afterwards your computer will run fine all day and never get so hot that the fans go into noisy overdrive or that it slows down the CPU because it is getting too hot. When you put the computer back, put it onto some bricks or old phone books to raise the dust bunny entrance portal a bit above the floor. And don't forget to tell your daughter that her pet gooron is an idiot. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from A Beautiful Unique Kitchen Makeover After sanding, priming, painting and adding antique silverware to my twenty year old, dark, dull and just plain outdated kitchen cabinets, putting in new counter tops, new appliances and painting the walls, I now have a beautiful, unique kitchen that I am proud to say was done by ME! By Sandra from Orlando, Florida http://www.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Delivering his speech at the opening banquet of a national convention, the visiting minister told several anecdotes he expected to repeat at meetings the next day. Because he wanted to use the jokes again, he requested that the reporters omit them from any accounts they might turn in to their newspapers. A cub reporter, in commenting on the speech, ended his piece with the following: "The minister also told a number of stories that cannot be printed here."
From SexySassySatin Wedding Photographer

Buttons and bows

Today in 
1765 Nine American colonies sent a total of 28 delegates to 
 New York City for the Stamp Act Congress.
1777 During the American Revolution the second Battle of 
 Saratoga began. 
1868 Cornell University was inaugurated in Ithaca, NY. 
1913 For the first time, Henry Ford's entire Highland Park 
 automobile factory was run on a continuously moving assembly 
 line when the chassis was added to the process. 
1949 The German Democratic Republic (East Germany) was formed. 
1950 The U.S.-led U.N. forces crossed the 38th parallel and 
 entered North Korea. China in November proved their threat 
 to enter the war by sending several hundred thousand troops 
 over the border into North Korea. 
1963 U.S. President Kennedy signed a nuclear test ban treaty 
 with Britain and the Soviet Union. 
1981 The Egyptian parliament, after the assassination of 
 Anwar Sadat, named Vice President Hosni Mubarak the next 
 president of Egypt. 
1985 The United States announced that it would no longer 
 automatically comply with World Court decisions. 
1989 In Budapest, Hungary's Communist Party renounced Marxism 
 in favor of democratic socialism. 
1993 U.S. President Clinton sent more troops, heavy armor, 
 and naval firepower to Somalia. 
1994 U.S. President Clinton dispatched an aircraft carrier 
 to the Persian Gulf when Iraqi troops were spotted moving 
 toward Kuwait. The U.S. Army was also put on alert. 
1998 The U.S. government filed an antitrust suit that alleged 
 Visa and MasterCard inhibit competition by preventing banks 
 from offering other cards. 
1999 American Home Products Corp. agreed to pay up to $4.83 
 billion to settle claims that the fen-phen diet drug caused 
 dangerous problems with heart valves. 
2001 The U.S. and Great Britain began airstrikes in Afghanistan 
 in response to that state's support of terrorism and Osama 
 bin Laden. The act was the first military action taken in 
 response to the terrorist attacks on the U.S. on 
 September 11, 2001. 
2003 In California, Arnold Schwarzenegger was elected governor 
 in the recall election of Governor Gray Davis. 
2014  smiled.

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