Eye strain from monitor 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, October 26

Who sent me the collection of pictures, from which I took
Friday's picture of the spiny, white sea monster?
Somehow I misplaced and lost that collection. If you sent 
it to me, or have a copy of it, please send it to me!

Have FUN!

Today's Bonehead Award goes to an 18 year old South Carolina woman for the most embarrassing shoplifting arrest. Details at Boneheads Today, in 1988 Roussel Uclaf, a French pharmaceutical company, announced it was halting the worldwide distribution of RU-486. The pill is used to induce abortions. The French government made the company reverse itself two days later.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The trouble with America is that there are far too many wide-open spaces surrounded by teeth. --- Charles Luckman In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move. --- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)
>From Moe SAFE AT HOME ... AT LAST! I've torn out my alarm system & de-registered from the Neighborhood Watch. I've got two Pakistani flags raised in my front garden, one at each corner and the black flag of ISIS in the center. The local police, CIA, Secret Service, and other intelligence services are all watching my house 24/7. I've never felt safer. ------------ I bet they defragment and optimize your computer too, to make sure they are not missing anything!
Can you find the names of 16 books from the Bible in the paragraph below without the aid of Google? (One minister found 15 of the books in 20 minutes, but it took him weeks to find the last one.) I once made the remark about the hidden books of the Bible. It was a lulu; It kept people looking so hard for facts, and for others it was a revelation. Some were in a jam, especially since the names of the books were not capitalized and on occasion spread over more than one word. But the truth finally struck home to numbers of our readers. To others it was a real job. I want it to be a most fascinating few moments for you. Yes, there will be some really easy ones to spot. Others may require judges to help them. I will quickly admit it usually takes a minister to find one of them, and there will be loud lamentations when it is found. A little old lady says she brews a cup of tea so she can concentrate better. See how well you can compete. Relax now, for there really are sixteen names of books of the Bible in this paragraph. No cheating!
Pilot: "Pilot to tower. I am 300 miles from land. 600 feet over water and running out of fuel. Please instruct!" Tower: "Tower to pilot. Tower to pilot. Repeat after me, 'Our Father, who art in heaven...'"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD Karla Farmer, 18, Spartanburg, South Carolina Embarrassing Shoplifting Spree At Mall Store This week’s most embarrassing shoplifting arrest comes from South Carolina, where police yesterday nabbed an 18-year-old woman for stealing Rock Hard erection cream, handcuffs, and Deep Throat desensitizing spray from a mall store. Karla Farmer first swiped the cream and spray from the “love unit” of a Spencer’s store, according to a police report. After exiting the business, she returned a few minutes later to nick the handcuffs, investigators allege. Mall security subsequently detained Farmer and handcuffed the teenager when she fought with them and tried to flee. When police searched Farmer’s purse, they recovered the Spencer’s merchandise, as well as a bra and two pairs of underwear apparently stolen from a Victoria’s Secret location in the WestGate mall in Spartanburg. Seen in the above mug shot, Farmer was charged with shoplifting and booked into the county jail on the misdemeanor count. Tech Support Pits From: Lucy Re: Eye strain Dear Webby I am working on a large but very important project, but lately after half a day or so, my eyes get tired and sandy. When that happens, I can't concentrate and all I want to do is go for a nap. Is there a solution for that? Lucy Dear Lucy First check the air currents in the room. If necessary, get a smoker to assist you. Especially in a darkened room a flashlight and some smoke will quickly tell you if air from anywhere is bouncing off the monitor or keyboard into your face and drying your eyes. If it is, deflect the air somehwre else. Secondly, raise the monitor or lower the chair so that you sit in the sexy positioning like the typists before the computer age used, chest out, back and neck straight, head slightly raised so that a ruler placed under your chin and pointing forward, points slightly upward, not level or down. Your neck and head circulation will improve instantly, and your eyes will feel a lot better. As a fringe benefit, especially if you combine that body posture with a silly grin about it, works as an anti-depressant and mood optimizer. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A father noticed that his son was spending way too much time playing computer games. In an effort to motivate the boy into focusing more attention on his schoolwork, the father said to his son, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace." The son replied, "When Lincoln was your age, he was The President of The United States."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Decorating for Halloween We try to make a fun Halloween experience. Walking through to get their candy is a lot of fun to watch. My husband and I made simple grave stones, coffin, and lots of body parts for the giant spider I made. We decorate with cheap masks bought at the dollar stores and costumes that were reduced after Halloween, for yard haunters, put up with just wooden stakes made into crosses. I try to buy something cheap each year to add to the decor. We have a lot of wailing, screeching ghosts and zombies, witches and skeletons. And lots of sounds. Happy Halloween {^;^} By Ida M. from Toledo, OH http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

The preacher was having a heart-to-heart talk with a backslider of his flock, whose drinking of moonshine invariably led to quarreling with his neighbors, and occasional shotgun blasts at some of them. "Can't you see, Ben," intoned the parson, "that not one good thing comes out of this drinking?" "Well, I sort of disagree there," replied the backslider. "It makes me miss the folks I shoot at."
>From Jack My Dad and I were talking the other night about love and marriage. He told me that he knew as early as their wedding what marriage to my Mom would be like. It seems the minister asked my Mom, "Do you take this man to be your husband." And she said, "I do." Then the minister asked my Dad, "Do you take this woman to be your wife," and my Mom said, "He better!"
Thanks to Sandie for this story: A good piece of chocolate has about 200 calories. As I enjoy two servings per night and a few more on weekends, I consume 3,500 calories of chocolate in a week, which equals to one pound of weight per week. Therefore, in the last three and a half years, I have had a chocolate caloric intake of about 180 pounds. I only weigh 165 pounds, so without chocolate, I would have wasted away to nothing about three months ago. I owe my life to chocolate!

Strange Looking Foods

Today in 
1825 The Erie Canal opened in upstate New York. The 
 363-mile canal connected Lake Erie and the Hudson River 
 at a cost of $7,602,000. 
1854 Charles William Post was born. He was the inventor 
 of "Grape Nuts," "Postum" and "Post Toasties." 
1858 H.E. Smith patented the rotary-motion washing machine. 
1881 The "Gunfight at the OK Corral" took place in Tombstone, 
 AZ. The fight was between Wyatt Earp, his two brothers and 
 Doc Holiday against the Ike Clanton Gang. 
1905 Norway gained independence from Sweden. 
1942 The U.S. ship Hornet was sunk in the Battle of Santa 
 Cruz during World War II. 
1944 During World War II, the Battle of Leyte Gulf ended. 
 The battle was won by American forces and brought the end 
 of the Pacific phase of World War II into sight. 
1949 U.S. President Harry Truman raised the minimum wage 
 from 40 to 75 cents an hour. 
1951 Winston Churchill became the prime minister of Great Britain. 
1958 Pan American Airways flew its first Boeing 707 jetliner 
 from New York City to Paris. 
1962 The Soviet Union made an offer to end the Cuban Missile 
 Crisis by taking their missile bases out of Cuba if the U.S. 
 agreed to not invade Cuba and would remove Jupiter missiles 
 in Turkey. 
1967 The Shah of Iran crowned himself and his Queen after 
 26 years on the Peacock Throne. 
1972 U.S. National security adviser Henry Kissinger declared, 
 "Peace is at hand" in Vietnam. 
1975 Anwar Sadat became the first Egyptian president to 
 officially visit to the United States. 
1977 The experimental space shuttle Enterprise successfully 
 landed at Edwards Air Force Base in California. 
1979 South Korean President Park Chung-hee was shot to death 
 by Kim Jae-kyu, the head of the Korean Central Intelligence 
1980 Israeli President Yitzhak Navon became the first Israeli 
 head of state to visit Egypt. 
1985 Approximately 110,000 people marched past the U.S. and 
 Soviet embassies in London to pressure the two countries to 
 end their arms race. 
1988 Roussel Uclaf, a French pharmaceutical company, announced 
it was halting the worldwide distribution of RU-486. The pill 
 is used to induce abortions. The French government made the 
 company reverse itself two days later. 
1988 Two whales were freed by Soviet and American icebreakers. 
 The whales had been trapped for nearly 3 weeks in an Arctic 
 ice pack. 
1990 The U.S. State Department issued a warning that terrorists 
 could be planning an attack on a passenger ship or aircraft. 
1990 Wayne Gretzky became the first NHL player to reach 2,000 points. 
1991 Former Washington Mayor Marion Barry arrived at a federal 
 correctional institution in Petersburg, VA, to begin serving 
 a six-month sentence for cocaine possession. 
1992 General Motors Corp. Chairman Robert Stempel resigned after 
the company recorded its highest losses in history. 
1992 In Canada, voters rejected the Charlottetown accord, which was 
 designed to unify the country. 
1993 Deborah Gore Dean was convicted of 12 felony counts of 
 defrauding the U.S. government and lying to the U.S. Congress. 
 Dean was a central figure in the Reagan-era HUD scandal. 
1994 Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin of Israel and Prime Minister 
 Abdel Salam Majali of Jordan signed a peace treaty. 
1995 Mario Lemieux (Pittsburgh Penguins) scored his 500th 
 National Hockey League (NHL) career goal against the New York 
 Islanders in his 605th game. He became the second-fastest player 
 to attain the plateau. Wayne Gretzky had reached 600 goals by 
 his 575th NHL game. 
1998 A French lab found a nerve agent on an Iraqi missile warhead. 
2001 It was announced that Fort Worth's Lockheed Martin won a 
 defense contract for $200 billion over 40 years. The contract, 
 for the "joint strike fighter," was the largest defense contract 
 in history. 
2002 Russian authorities pumped a gas into a theater where 
 separatist rebels held over 800 hostages. The gas killed 116 
 hostages and all 50 hostage-takers were killed by the gas or 
 gunshot wounds.
2014  smiled.

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